Chris and Qualler's Pop Culture Blogulator

Blogulator Radio 39 - Golden Gripes

2012-01-24T08:22:00.003-06:00

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The Blogulator crew watched the Golden Globes last week and while eight days is like a million years in internet time, Chris and Jerksica wanted to talk about the evening’s awards for television, and so they did. In fact, it serves as a good starting point to look forward to what TV is going to be like in 2012 and how our favorite shows will stack up as they either age finely like Cheez-Its or get tiresome like “clever” car insurance ads. Therefore you cannot complain about the married couple that watched too much boob tube living in the past, man. As they discuss the relevance of the Ricky Gervais-hosted quasi-legitimate awards show, there’s also discussion about the post-holiday hiatus returns of Parks & Recreation, Happy Endings, 30 Rock, and New Girl.

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Blogulator Radio 38 - Gossip Girls

2012-01-19T08:36:00.000-06:00

Click here to be transported to a magical aural world where the only thing that matters are middling quasi-teen dramas on CW.

Hey readers, Qualler here, your one and only connection to all things TV-licious in the Twin Cities for Blogulator Radio. Looks like B(rigitte) and (Lady) A(my) decided to get a little in-depth on all things Gossip Girl, seasons one through four. B said something about having a chance to “catch up” with Gossip Girl during her school break, and when B puts her mind on something, she can accomplish anything. Sorry, G(ossip) G(irl), B and A’s revisiting of you shows that you don’t really hold up completely as a series, despite your superficial charms. The same could be said about B(lair Waldorf) and S(erena VanDerWoodson)’s personalities. So ends this pitiful attempt to write like the real life Gossip Girl. XOXO, Qualler.

Being a modern show for modern people, we’ve got all sorts of ways to find us online. We’ve got your Facebook and your Twitter and your Google+, and you can follow Qualler and Chris on Twitter as well. Of course we always welcome comments or questions either in the comments below or through email at bradio@fancypantsgangsters.com.

Top 10 Games of 2011

2012-01-13T00:36:00.007-06:00

10. Bastion
After playing the demo, falling off the edge of the map, and having my misstep cleverly detailed by the omnipresent nattaror, I expected him to slickly respond to all of the actions I performed, thus delivering a inspired new take on game presentation. Turns out I was kinda wrong, as the game stretches into a fairly lengthy and directed journey in which the script improvises more in beats than measures. Nevertheless, I had a good time trouncing through an inspired (if not entirely interesting to me) adventure, killing… er, I don’t even remember anymore. It’s been three weeks. Whatever. I hit guys with hammers and had fun.

9. Sonic Generations
I already wrote about how Sonic Generations is “better” than Uncharted 3. It probably wasn’t very well written as I went in with the expectation that nobody would read the whole thing even if it were posted at The New York Times blog because nobody goddamn reads anymore unless they’re on the squat and even then they’re playing that saccharine piece of gizzard’s gooze Angry Birds…, but it’s written nonetheless. The same goes for the sentence I just wrote, which I hold as my firm opinion as strongly as I hold any opinion, which is to say fairly strongly, in that uncertain kind of way that’s perpetually unsure of its intent, ya know?

8. Child of Eden
Just look at it.

7. You Don’t Know Jack
As an aspiring comedy writer (you wouldn’t know it from here*), this game impresses me all the time. Lines are amazingly delivered by the host Cookie Masterson, and are more clever and punny than the popular gross, with one series of questions for instance asking whether “Something Something Ranch” is the name of either a salad dressing or a Nevada brothel. When my mom got every one correct, my Catholic-rooted family had the biggest, most innocent laugh about prostitution we’d ever had. And that’s saying something.
*"You wouldn’t know it from here” line taken from Beginner’s Guide to Yuks.

6. Portal 2

Portal 2 is the expansive sequel to the breakout hit of a few years ago. Adding more levels, more gameplay elements, and way more background story for those crazy folks at Aperture Labs, Portal 2 is an awesome follow-up to the first game. My personal favorite new element is the addition of the moon-paint dispensers which let you coat the walls in new Portal-ready material.

In case you aren't familiar, here's a brief overview of the game: You're a subject in a crazy lab where the loony AI computer system is trying to destroy you and you want to escape and the only weapon you have is a gun that makes portals so you can sneak past enemy turrets and move boxes to solve puzzles to advance until you find a way to escape. There are also a lot of jokes about potatoes in science fair projects and this real cheeky little AI guy that helps you along the way.

The gameplay is some of the most addictive I've encountered in an FPS. Because the levels are strung together like individual puzzles, it's so easy to tell yourself you'll solve just one more puzzle. Next thing you know it's five hours later and you don't mind at all. You were having too much fun. Awesome. [Sean]

5. Dead Space 2
The original Dead Space may be my favorite game of this generation. I felt like I was walking through a finely-crafted haunted house while being fed an expertly-contained sci-fi story. Since then, I feel the series has veered a bit, with unnecessary universe expansion detracting from the simplicity of the original adventure. Add in a now-voiced protagonist who shouts the same f-word as every other hero, an emphasis on a multiplayer mode that already lies barren, and the most immature ad campaign in modern gaming, and you’d think I wouldn’t be talking about this game at all. Nah. I can’t stop shooting the limbs off dead stuff. I can’t wait to move out of my parents’, then out of my crowded co-op, and then out of my paper-thin townhouse so I can finally blast the volume on this audio-video spectacle. Only fifteen more years!

4. Batman: Arkham City
As a fan of old beat ‘em ups (especially racist ones like Sunset Riders) I can’t help but love the single best hand-to-hand combat system ever created in games. Whereas Uncharted 3 lists as one of my greatest disappointments of the year thanks to the fact that I dreaded every single enemy encounter, I love taking down henchman after henchman in what-appear-to-be-choreographed fight scenes directed through my fingers. The story gets a bit too comic-y for me at times, but the uniquely dark aura of Gotham drips into Arkham City to create the perfect open-world environment for either a bat to cat around in, or vice versa.

3. The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword
My wallet is a map of the original Legend of Zelda, and I wear a Zelda wristband out in public. This game had to really screw up not to make my list. It did try at times, with slow-scrolling text and constant descriptions of items you’ve already picked up 100 times testing my patience, and both I and my bitey cat were resistant to getting back into the (improved but still imperfect) Wii-flailing groove. But just like in Space Channel 5, the groove got me. A simple walk through the bazaar is all it takes to recognize the richness of personality that still sets this iconic video game adventure apart from the rest.

2. Fortune Street
Out of nowhere, this somewhat Mario Party-ish looking game sprung up at me from the review pages of Game Informer. It’s rare that any property (especially one starring both Nintendo and Dragon Quest characters) can sneak by my internet eyes, so I read on, intrigued. Weeks later, cut to the living room of my friend Andy, where a newly-purchased copy of the game entertained a bunch of sober twenty-somethings for four hours plus. That night alone shot Fortune Street to the top of the list. It’s Monopoly with a stock market, and it’s the most pure, refreshing experience I’ve had discovering a game with friends since the arcade was still a thing.

1. Skyrim
I fell asleep during every Lord of the Rings movie, but ya know what? NO ONE CARES! A game is different from a movie, otherwise I would’ve just copied and pasted our top movie list and put “Colon The Game” after every title (The Tree of Life: The Game is particularly good). Skyrim triumphs in the major aspect that does attract me to high fantasy by creating a vast medieval “Europe” where I can hang my post-industrial stress at the door, take in a dragon story if I wish, or just wander an often beautiful, rewarding landscape. There is a bevy of lore to discover that I appreciate for creating an aura of verisimilitude, yet personally don’t care about for beans. The stories I need are found in my Xbox inbox, where real-life friend Pat insults me as “Argonian street trash.” I don’t know what it means, but I love being involved in a world where vitriolic jibberish about an imaginary place still stings. Curse you, Pat, and may the Gods punish you in years hence.

Top 10 Top 40 Songs of 2011

2012-01-12T15:16:00.001-06:00

10. Adele - "Someone Like You"
Hey, remember when Adele was just that British lady who sang that “Chasing Pavement” song that they used in all those Lifetime Original Movies? The unanimously-adored 21 changed all that. I was recently in a hunting bar in rural Wisconsin that had been somewhat overrun by city-folk visiting for the holidays, and when “Someone Like You” came on, all the women threw their arms around each other and started belting along. Everyone knows and loves this song. “Someone Like You” is the ultimate torch song because it so effectively masks its vulnerability as bravery. She’s totally keeping it together enough to have faith that she’ll find love despite being devastatingly hurt, but still gives into her overwhelming pain to deliver this soul-crushing gem: “’Don’t forget me,’ I beg/ ‘I’ll remember,’ you say / sometimes it lasts in love / sometimes it hurts instead.” ARE YOU KIDDING ME? SO TRAGIC. SO BRAVE. [Sam]

9. Lupe Fiasco - "The Show Goes On"
It always warms my heart a little when a socially conscientious musician can also make it rain on the mainstream charts (no, I'm not talking about Bono.) Lupe Fiasco's stellar "The Show Goes On" is at once hipster-baiting (y'know, cuz of the Modest Mouse sample), a solid "message" song, and catchy-as-all-get-out. The catchy-as-all-get-out part is probably what wins everybody over the most, and it is definitely catchy the way Mouse's "Float On" was an earworm for the masses. It's good trickery, because the track works both as an offshoot of post-pop with its mash-up roots, and a subtle positive message for the masses, while still allowing the masses to raise their hands in the air. [Qualler]

8. DEV - "In the Dark"
"In the Dark" does reek of sex in a number of overt and obvious ways, but somehow manages to still be sexy. I don't even find Dev particularly attractive, and in fact I prefer just listening to this song in my car to watching the video on a computer (the venues of consumption may have something to do with it), but damn if I don't get kind of bothered whenever I hear that saxophone riff. By now I think we can all agree that Kenny G's instrument of choice became overused in 2011, to the point where the man himself even guested on a Katy Perry bridge to complete the ouroboros, but it's pretty tough to argue that it doesn't hit hard when it's used correctly. And here it's all smoke and shadows, complementing the vocals as much as it enhances them, but in such a way that it never feels like the usual Top 40 calculated balance of computerized effects and sugary melodies. It may not be gritty like a lo-fi dubstep dance floor banger, but it still bangs; it's just that it slithers on the off-beats. [Chris]

7. Beyoncé - "Love on Top"
After separating professionally from her manager/father at the beginning of this year, Beyoncé released 4, which, although not a fan favorite, is where we see Beyoncé shucking the pop princess persona and really being Beyoncé. While none of the songs on the album are ever going to be top-charting radio singles (besides “Run the World (Girls)”, which I like to pretend just never happened), Beyoncé exhibits maturity, variety of sound, and one of the greatest singing voices around. And nowhere is this more evident that in “Love on Top”. This song is not about sellability or pop music or about making vocals subservient to a dance-able beat; everything about this song, including the four key-changes and the amazing music video, is about Beyoncé singing, loudly and strongly, and not because a man broke her heart, but because she’s so impossibly happy. In a year dominated by the powerful tragedy of Adele, the weird angst of Rihanna, and the synth-dance of everyone else, this song stands out like as a reminder that things really do get better. Plus, listening to it when you get ready in the morning is pretty life-affirming. [Sam]

6. Lady Gaga - "The Edge of Glory"
The Gagster has had an up-and-down relationship with The Blogulator (cuz, obviously she is a big time reader) and, while I have been on the mostly-positive liking-most-everything-she-does side of things (except for that horrible album cover for Born This Way and the fact that every one of her videos is like a million effin' minutes long, and, as I told somebody in a convoluted way recently, "if they're all long, then none of them are long"), she really hit her stride with "The Edge of Glory". In my eternal search for The Perfect Song To Cross A Marathon Finish Line To (hey, new Blog feature in 2012? Mayhaps!), The Good Lady of Gaga crafted a perfect upbeat, positive, emotional song about, well, big themes like being on "the edge of glory" and "hanging on a moment with you" (the best use of that phrase since Lifehouse used it?). And while I agree with Chris that the saxophone was an overused element of pop music in 2011, none of the other pop songs featuring sax had Clarence Effin' Clemons (rest in peace) playing their songs home. So when that final blast of the final run through the chorus, plus the soulful sounds of Clemons' sax bursts through your speakers/headphones, it's truly glorious. [Qualler]

5. Wiz Khalifa - "Roll Up"
"Roll Up" does so much to convince the "Black & Yellow" naysayers (and I like to think there are many of us) with seemingly so little. Khalifa worked so hard to annoy millions with that oppressive synthetic xylophone (or whatever it was) and yet it sounds like he's barely putting in any effort to write about an otherwise self-aggrandizing subject here: the significance of self-arrival. It should be skeezy, it should be smarmy, and it should definitely be arrogant, but he manages to eschew all of these negative stereotypes of the rapper that just wants his girl to know how great it will be once he shows up in his expensive car. Speaking of his rapping, the man's downright charming in his laid back and yet playful delivery, suggesting that not only is he just doing this for kicks, but it's also some kind of grand stress reliever rather than heavy emotion conduit. Whodathunk - effortless pop music that doesn't smack of slackerism. [Chris]

4. Britney Spears - "Til the World Ends"
Alright, Britney, here I thought that you were being metaphorical when you sung about dancing until the world ends, but your video proves me wrong. You LITERALLY want us to continue to dance UNTIL the WORLD actually ENDS. Which, according to your video, will happen on December 21, 2012. (Very specific.) Well, the good news is, after a few years of blah music from the Britster, her 2011 record Femme Fatale was a step in the right direction in forward-thinking pop music, while bringing back a little "classic Britney" sound from the late 90s / early 00s. Something about the way the main drum beat keeps the sixteenth-notes humming and building while the synth wobbles around and Britney sings with so many vocal tracks until it builds to that great conclusion where everything's just going nuts makes this song special. It's another entry in my "Perfect Song To Cross A Marathon Finish Line To" feature that I'm now developing even more in my head. ("Maybe work on the title a little, ya jerk?" say the masses. The masses are really mean in my head.) And don't you feel like, after all Britney's been through in the past decade, and all the growing up she (and in turn, we) have done, she deserves to have a little bit of happiness? Anyway, Britney Spears, so glad you're back making interesting-but-not-too-adventurous-but-just-adventurous-enough pop music. [Qualler]

3. LMFAO feat. Lauren Bennett, GoonRock - "Party Rock Anthem"
I honestly don’t think I’ve gone to a party or bar this year without hearing “Party Rock Anthem”; I even have a coworker who greets the office every morning by walking in and saying, “Everyday we shuffling.” (He’s referring to paper. That’s why it’s funny, I guess.) When VH1 produces I Love the Teens, they will talk about this song as being quintessentially 2011. You see, LMFAO is embodying this weird sort of totally 2011 meta-irony, where their hipstery self-mockery is actually just a ruse for post-hipster self-mockery mockery. At least that’s how a Cultural Studies minor looks at it. In any case, Party Rock Anthem is exactly what it says it is: an anthem for party rocking, whether at a club, at a party, at home, or in your car. Like the zombified dancers in their music video, just hearing “Party Rock Anthem” makes us all want to dance in an unflattering hipster ironic way with lots of little jumps and fist pumping. That weird synthesized chorus line triggers some weird fluke in our physiology, and we just can’t help but party rock. [Sam]

2. Nicki Minaj - "Super Bass"
I admit that I'm somewhat of a Nicki Minaj hater, so it pains me somewhat to say that "Super Bass" is just an unbelievably catchy, clever song. Her fast-pace rapping, which, I also admit, sounds very good, works really well with the slow-ish backing synths and driving beats. COMPLAINT TIME! (And if you don't come to The Blogulator at least partially for allowing us to validate our opinions, then you're not here for the right reason.) Why does Nicki, whose "real life" persona exhibits a predilection toward at least bisexuality, have to be rapping about how much this one dude is really handsome and how she wants to do it with the dude? Okay, that's not really a fair complaint to lob her direction, because, the fact is that a song this catchy wouldn't be as popular if it had a less hetero-normative core to it, and pop stars gotta get paid. Regardless of all that, there's no doubt "I mean, you're so shy and I'm loving your tie / you're like, slicker than the guy with the thing on his eye" is one of my favorite lyric lines of 2011. So, Nicki, don't be afraid to bust out of the misogynistic Young Money label you're tied to and say something that's true to you, please, and maybe then I won't be a Nicki Minaj hater anymore. [Qualler]

1. T-Pain feat. Chris Brown - "Best Love Song"
"Best Love Song" is so anthemic it hurts. T-Pain takes adoration to a level potentially not yet seen in pop music until now, imbuing his usual wacky mentality into a topic that nevertheless feels 100% serious and universal, thus making it wholly original all over again. It's a magnanimous feat, yet because he goes all out without reserve or embarrassment, he nails it. Chris Brown's presence may mar this effect on the surface, but ultimately he's just a pawn in T-Pain's game, playing the side character for a maximum arena-level battle scene in which the winner is not a persona nor a celebrity but rather the listener's hands, which invariably raise involuntarily into the air, conveying their agreement in the notion that yes, they could hypothetically hold a pen that could write the best love song she has ever heard in her life. [Chris]

Top 10 Albums of 2011

2012-01-11T13:32:00.002-06:00

10. Cults, Cults, [In the Name Of]

I think I heard somewhere that the random voice samples on this album are from real life cult leaders. Isn't that crazy? So what if you can't understand them; it's neat. This band is some art school duo. I think it's a dude and a lady so I'm going to pretend there's love. For romance, duh. Oh! The album! It's rad. Plenty of catchy oldies-style tracks about love and relationships and stuff (romance, the good sides and bad). "Go Outside" is a rocking time. Ditto for "Bad Things." "Bumper" has some male/female call and response going on and you know that's good. The band has simple percussion, spacey bells, and the catchiest melodies. You'll be tapping your toes. [Sean]

9. Gillian Welch, The Harrow and the Harvest [Acony]

I'm getting older. And with getting older comes the more and more willing admission that I like music that I used to ignore for being "too boring." Folk/bluegrass singer Gillian Welch released her first new album in seven years with The Harrow & The Harvest and it reminds me of the grassy Appalachian mountains featured in FX's Justified. Welch and songwriting/performing/life partner David Rawlings craft gorgeous, sad melodies about sad, dark stuff. Sadsies abound! Songs like "Scarlett Town", "Tennessee" and "The Way It Will Be" sound like they have existed for eternity, and will continue to exist for eternity. [Qualler]

8. Real Estate, Days [Domino]

I am a simple person with simple needs. Give me sparkly guitars and hummable vocals and call it a day. I didn't even like Real Estate's first album, but the tunes on Days are just so far and above the humdrum acoustic lo-fi wanker that was wildly popular for some reason two days ago. I'm glad they've changed with the times, because half a decade ago there was this band called Human Television that I thought for sure was the second coming of jangle pop, but then they faded away and I got sad. Luckily this hipster band is filling the void and making the sound come alive again. But what makes me most happy about this record is that not every song is just the obligatory mid-tempo slacker anthem with pretty guitar lines. There's the hyper side ("It's Real"), there's the languorous side ("Green Aisles"), and the off-kilter quirky side ("Out of Tune") too. But okay, mostly it's just a lot of insanely pretty guitars. [Chris]

7. The Roots, Undun [Def Jam]

I'm a sucker for concept albums, so when The Roots released one late in 2011, I was all over it. Their record Undun does not disappoint in that regard. The album follows a man named Redford Stephens (named after Sufjan Stevens' Michigan record song "Redford" and, assumingly, Stevens himself), a man who has to choose between a life of crime and a life of legitimacy. Of course, it wouldn't be compelling if the music wasn't great, and it is. Both slinky and cool, upbeat and dark, Jimmy Fallon's house band crafts great beats throughout. Ever since The Roots got their gig on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, they seem even more willing to explore new facets of their abilities. [Qualler]

6. Julianna Barwick, The Magic Place [Asthmatic Kitty]

Blogulator co-writer DoktorPeace vehemently disagrees with the praise given to this album by Qualler and yours truly. He says it gives him a "headache." And yet to me it's a collection of some of the most peaceful sounds ever created by a human being. Another Blogulator co-writer, Sean, went so far as to make fun of Barwick by recording his voice emulating her airy ambient coos and layering it a bunch of times while trying to stifle his own laughter. Well poo on them I say. While I can sympathize with the argument that if a bunch of effects and reverb need to be slathered on top of a voice or instrument then there's a minimal amount of musical proficiency at the artist's outset, I don't think that's what's necessary to make profound sounds or more frankly, good art. Barwick takes a very simple yet wholly original approach to making angelic choral solo music and it soars. You can't argue that it doesn't soar. If it soars so much it induces pain in your brain, then I guess you were meant for her grandeur. But I was, dammit, and it's effing gorgeous. [Chris]

5. Katy B, On a Mission [Columbia]

The British dubstep-y (or, at least, her producers dabble in dubstep, I think?) pop chanteuse Katy B released an album full of songs that, in my dreams, are popular enough to get the whole floor of a future wedding party going like crazy on the dance floor. Of course, the secret to a great dance pop record, as is the secret with all albums, is good songwriting, and On a Mission delivers in that regard. From the slinky-sexy beats of "Witches Brew" and "Movement" to the Toni Braxton-esque sad-breakup song "Go Away" (listen to the chorus where the multi-tracked vox in the chorus!), the record is full of straight up great songs with melodies that creep into your head. And it's a great alternative to the Ke$has and Katy Perrys for quality pop music good for running. The best part? She thanks all of us for listening with a long thank-you section at the end of final song "Hard to Get". You're welcome, Katy B. [Qualler]

4. R.E.M., Collapse Into Now [Warner Bros.]

R.E.M.'s swan song probably wouldn't be on my list of favorite albums of 2011 if it weren't their swan song, but my Favorite Band of All Time dropped the swan song bomb on us in September, months after the release of their fifteenth studio album with their breakup announcement. In typical understated R.E.M. fashion, the signs of imminent breakup are all over the album, from the epic opening track "Discoverer" to the even-more-obvious-"we're-gonna-break-up-now" track "All the Best" (lyrics like "I'll give it one more time / I'll show the kids how to do it fine") to the maybe-the-moment-they-decided-it-was-over "It Happened Today" (probably in my top 20 R.E.M. tracks of all time), to the Patti Smith-guesting funeral dirge "Blue" that gives way to one more blast of "Discoverer". Context is everything, so putting this record in the context of their swan song makes the musical content all the more immediate and bittersweet. [Qualler]

3. M83, Hurry Up We're Dreaming [Mute]

First things first: I hate the talking kid on "Raconte-Moi Une Histoire." It's the worst part of an otherwise solid album. No I don't think it's cute. No it's not charming or inspirational. It's dumb and ruins the mood right after my second favorite track ("Wait"). With all that out of the way, I can say that Hurry Up We're Dreaming is a super awesome M83 album. It follows the sonic themes of Saturdays = Youth and at 22 songs in length it provides plenty on sweet Jams to groove to. "Midnight City" is my personal favorite track even if I can't understand half the lyrics. "Waiting For a call"? "Waiting for a cab"?* It's like how I thought "Kim and Jessie" was about somebody muslim shouting and drowning your towel with voices. Hey! You like Zola Jesus? She's in the intro song. Bonus! [Sean]

* "Waiting in a car" makes way more sense (holy cow! Saxophone solo!)

2. Fucked Up, David Comes to Life [Matador]

Qualler talked above about his love for concept albums. I personally can't stand them. I like that Roots album a lot, but not because of the story it tells, though I can appreciate its sentiments. I also like that Janelle Monae record about the spider robot queen or whatever, but again, I honestly just can't listen straight through imagining this strange abstract movie in my head, though that seems like something on paper that I'd love to do. It feels too bloated or self-important when I concentrate that much, which is why David Comes to Life is a concept record I can get behind. Sure, if you want to, you can go deep with it and follow the tale of revolution it tells, but really, I'm just listening to the songs. Even at an epic eighteen tracks long, I am amazed at how easy it is to listen to each individual track as its own barn-burning melodic hardcore (or whatever) pop song. Every single riff melts my face off in a way that I feel okay using that phrase four or so years after its expiration date. I could care less about the politics of it as long as I can feel its fury and potency. [Chris]

1. Geotic, Mend [Self-Released]

I'm glad that DoktorPeace can agree with me on this one, if not Julianna Barwick (see above). He said he would often listen to it when he was writing his next magnum opus screenplay and I find that offhand fact very telling. Will Wiesenfeld also records as Baths, a project that got big last year with the record Cerulean, which is also definitely worth checking out, but it's so much more spastic and involved than Geotic that it makes a lot of sense that he has a completely different moniker for his more reserved and introspective side. It's so inward, in fact, that he only self-releases material under the Geotic name for free on his Angelfire (I know, right?) page. (You can download Mend and other beautiful recordings gratis here.) And sure, his loopy guitar meditations with static edges are nothing revolutionary or even necessarily ear-catching, but the more time you spend with them, like DoktorPeace did, the more they unfold into something singularly cathartic and addictive. It's music that exhilarates as much as it soothes, and through the instrumental and therefore multi-interpretational theme of amelioration, it becomes therapeutic as well. Sometimes that kind of small genius is what deserves the most attention, but it rarely gets its proper due. [Chris]

Top 10 Movies of 2011

2012-01-10T14:00:00.000-06:00

10. Contagion [wr. Scott Z. Burns, dir. Steven Soderberg]

Contagion might not stand the test of time, but it’s the best high-quality, high-budgetthriller of the year. The film is greatbecause it answers the simple question Whatwould happen if a deadly pandemic actually struck the world? without devolvinginto the disgusting or the ridiculous. The disease, Meningoencephalitis Virus One, takes its victims quietly withoutzombie-like symptoms or disgusting face lesions, and its silence is what makesit so effectively terrifying. Contagion examines every facet of theoutbreak—from the CDC and US government response with Kate Winslet to thethird-world repercussions with Marion Cotillard, from the conspiracy bloggerswith Jude Law to the implications for a middle class family with Matt Damon—withprecision and intelligence. The cast isstar-studded (my comment every 30 seconds: “Oh wow, s/he’s in this too?!”) butfull of excellent actors that add gravitas without sensationalizing. In terms of Hollywood blockbusters, Contagion is definitely a winner. [Sam]

9. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 2 [wr. Steve Kloves, J.K. Rowling (Book), dir. David Yates]
Whereas I heralded The Muppets for its lack of CGI, the Harry Potter series pretty much justifies its existence. As somebody with very little investment in a story to which he already knows the ending - and one who prefers Harry Potter when he’s in school, winning and losing points for his house and attending dances, as opposed to embarking on yet another epic fantasy quest - the visuals inherit a lot of responsibility. And I gotta say, Emma Watson delivers, albeit less so than in the topless kissing scene of Part 1... I semi-jest, but seriously: These are kids’ movies? Well I guess, because as my 8-year old friend Billy told me: “At the very least, this film was a fitting, populist swansong for some of Britain’s greatest thespians. Kudos, Maggie Smith.” Billy’s a square. [DoktorPeace]

8. Martha Marcy May Marlene [wr. & dir. Sean Durkin]
Martha Marcy May Marlene is, for one, a genre flick, a creepy psychological thriller about a woman who is struggling with her sanity after a traumatic stint in a cult. But, it's also a lot more than that. It's also about how women can be victimized by the patriarchy, regardless of whether it's in a culty cult cult or in "mainstream" society. And it's also about the dangers of our society wholly rejecting any standard way of living outside of the accepted form of living. It's about all of these things, and it's hauntingly shot in bright, 35mm-style colors. While the overall "maybe our normal society can be bad like cults are bad" message is occasionally a bit too on-the-nose for my taste, the overall method of delivery is a truly creepy, frightening, get-under-your-skin powerhouse. And who knew Elizabeth Olson, younger sister of Mary-Kate and Ashley, could act? She is a powerhouse, as is John Hawkes (as usual), the magnetic and truly bad cult leader. [Qualler]

7. Midnight in Paris [wr. & dir. Woody Allen]
Midnight in Paris is enchanting in every way you'd never expect a Woody Allen film to be enchanting. For months and months I'd heard and read about people being left dizzy with the magical comedic aspect of this movie and while I didn't dismiss the notion, I thought it would be mildly pleasant at best and nauseatingly precious at worst. But I was wowed with the rest of 'em, convinced that Owen Wilson is a better Woody Allen than Woody Allen is (his anxious charm is more effervescent and effortless than his author's to the nth degree), convinced that Paris was photographed more vividly and joyously here than in nearly any other movie save for maybe Before Sunset, and convinced that the nostalgic ride through literary and cultural figures of the early 1900s was not only sweet nerdy fun but also downright brilliant. This wasn't the forced esoteric Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure that I was half-expecting at all. And despite all this general warm fuzziness that I felt throughout the film, it was the meaty center of it all that most and best surprised me. The commentary about the nature of the creative mind and nostalgia is one most near and dear to my heart, especially in this period of growing older and further away from "the good ol' days" (which I guess is something that could be applied to everyone), and certainly made me wonder and question my own pop desires as much as it allowed me to revel in them. [Chris]

6. Melancholia [wr. & dir. Lars von Trier]
"Life is only on Earth...and not for long." Melancholia is the latest disaster/melodrama/character piece/sci-fi film from writer/director Lars von Trier, and it is also the first movie I've been to see three times in the theater since Titanic. Like Titanic, we all know the ending before the story begins: the world will end when hit by a rogue planet, and life on Earth is going to end. Don't worry about the physics of how that would work, that's beside the point. There's no trying to stop the planet from hitting ours, just like there's no hope of steering that ship around the ice burg. When a disaster movie doesn't center on heroes figuring out how to save the day we're left with our heroes (or anti heroes? it's always hard to tell with Von Trier) will cope with the knowledge that their lives are about to end, and there's nothing they can do to stop that. The story is told in three parts, a prologue, which is a beautifully filmed sequence of slow moving images set to glorious music, reminiscent of the prologue to von Trier's last film, Antichrist. The second part (Part One: Justine) tells the story of a melancholic bride (Kirsten Dunst) on her wedding night. She has to deal with a sister (Charlotte Gainsbourg) and brother-in-law (Keifer Sutherland) who just want her to "be happy." She also deals with pressures from her boss (Stellan Skarsgard) who I think represents American greed--cause you know how von Trier feels about American--and maybe even petty preoccupation with concerns that quickly become insignificant when the end of the world is neigh. Even groom (Alexander Skarsgard) seems at first to really love her, but is really only concerned with his own needs. The wedding falls apart bit by bit, ending in the groom and his parents leaving while he tells Justine that "thinks could have been different." Lines like this one underline the theme of free will versus destiny and even while absorbed in the story of the doomed wedding we remember that planet...the last part is titled Part Two: Claire and it takes place some span of time after the wedding and involves only Justine, Claire, and John (Dunst, Gainsbourg, and Sutherland) and young Leo in their secluded estate while we all wait for that planet to hit. Von Trier shows us how difference character types deal with the end of the world, and as much as I enjoyed part one, I think it was in part two that I really fell in love with this film. The slow realization that there's nothing to be done leads Sutherland (whom I think von Trier also uses as metaphor for patriarchal blind faith in "science" and "reason", maybe another dig on American ideals?) to suicide, Gainsbourg to panic and attempted flight, and on Dunst, who couldn't handle "regular" things like a marriage, to become the strong, calm leader and to look out for Leo. The entire thing is beautifully shot and set to a grand, moving score. I could talk about it for hours, but I also recall people leaving the theater half way through, so again if nothing else Von Trier is giving us something that creates controversy and it's worth experiencing it and forming your own opinion. And of course ask yourself: how would you cope with the end of the world? Or maybe Von Trier would have us ask: how ARE you coping with the end of the world? [Brigitte]

5. The Muppets [wr. Jason Segal, Nicholas Stoller, dir. James Bobin]
The only Judd Apatow movie I’ve enjoyed is Forgetting Sarah Marshall, so I had no qualms about Jason Segel helming this Muppets revival. What did worry me was that this franchise I enjoyed so much as a child would be smothered by modern metasociety. True, playing off popular culture has always been a Muppet touchstone, with classic skits like "Pigs in Space" reliant on the then sci-fi fad, but it’s the pork puns that truly make it timeless. Aside from a blah rap sequence and a somewhat-misplaced chicken cover of Cee Lo’s “F*** You,” The Muppets pretty expertly cherishes the innocence of its own nostalgia, with purposely vanilla human characters and simple story (aptly focused on nostalgia preservation) emphasizing the uniqueness of Kermit and the gang. Celebrities like Jack Black are featured to be sure, but the story is never about the celebrity. It’s about life being a happier song with talking frogs and pigs that are by no means computer-generated in it. [DoktorPeace]

4. Drive [wr. Hossein Amini, James Sallis (Book), dir. Nicolas Winding Refn]
Drive begins asthe most wonderful Sofia-Coppola-esque portrait of the nameless Driver (RyanGosling), the calmest, dopiest, and hottest getaway driver, and Irene (CareyMulligan), a hardworking mother whose husband is in prison. It’s beautiful, plodding, suspenseful, andambiguously romantic, portraying its characters and setting (Los Angeles) withgritty, tragic emotionalism. That isuntil the film rips that all out from under us in the second half, dissolvinginto stylized and graphic violence that disrupts the complacency of the film asmuch as it upsets the characters’ lives as the world of Los Angeles organizedcrime begins to destroy its victims. Theviolence is shocking but not illogical, and the film’s escalation from one typeof stylization into the next is not a mark of inconsistency, but theintentional breaking-down of the character’s overly-romanticized world. I’ll admit that the violence is sometimes off-puttingand possibly too sensational, but the soundtrack, the acting, and thestylization makes this the one of the best films of 2011. [Sam]

3. Meek's Cutoff [wr. Jonathan Raymond, dir. Kelly Reichardt]
Do you like slow-moving old clothes movies that seemingly don't have much of a plot and that ultimately leave you hanging? I do. And if you do, too, then you'll love Meek's Cutoff, starring my personal favorite, Michelle Williams, and directed by Kelly Reichardt (director of 2008's Wendy and Lucy, also starring Williams). In similar narrative style to Wendy and Lucy, Meek's Cutoff features little dialogue but plenty of intriguing (in)action and character development as we follow three families traveling west on the Oregon trail in 1845. The film takes its name from character Stephen Meek (Bruce Greenwood) whom the families hire to lead them through the Cascade Mountains. Of course, he knows a special route, and of course, they become lost and end up wandering through seemingly endless desert, getting into minor adventures along the way. Sort of a spin on the exodus narrative, the families run into one trouble after another and seem to become more and more lost and become more and more hopeless as their journey to nowhere progresses. The film ends abruptly and we are left to wonder whether they ever reach their destination, and are also reminded that the story was never about reaching the destination. It's more about how individuals develop trust or overcome mistrust and how they manage to maintain relationships when survival is at stake. [Brigitte]

2. Moneyball [wr. Steven Zallian, Aaron Sorkin, Stan Chervin, Michael Lewis (Book), dir. Bennett Miller]
Moneyball holds the esteemed distinction of being a sports movie that doesn't just eschew sports movie cliches but also manages to be very much about the sport in question, and not just a sports movie only in name. And all of this is coming from someone that has never been able to become a sports fan. The beauty of the film, apart from the obvious things like Bennett Miller's austere yet always glistening direction or Aaron Sorkin's quippy bon mots (which don't come a mile a minute like your usual Sorkin fare, thus giving each more space to breathe, which is a welcome change of pace ), is that it's a character piece in which baseball is the end-all be-all of that character. Brad Pitt plays Billy Bean with an odd kind of steely diffidence, which makes his obsession with the game that much more magnetic, like we're constantly trying to both figure him out and figure his team out along with him for the whole ride. It's a quiet yet involving journey and potentially the most curious film of 2011. [Chris]

1. The Tree of Life [wr. & dir. Terrence Malick]
For as much of a big deal that was made about Malick's masterpiece to end all masterpieces being narratively impenetrable, The Tree of Life is actually a remarkably simple film with a simple thesis, beautifully depicted in the poetic, meditative opening sequence. As delivered by Jessica Chastain's character: "The nuns taught us there are two ways through life. The way of nature and the way of grace. You have to choose which one you will follow... They taught us that no one who loves the way of grace ever comes to a bad end." Actually, the entire film is extremely meditative, which makes sense given Malick's overall approach to filmmaking. He wrote the script in a nontraditional way, reportedly with words, sketches, and pictures included. And, he told his cast that they were his "co-directors" (ha!) so as to make the completed film a truly cohesive, collaborative piece of work. Okay, so the film is a brilliantly dense, (sometimes somewhat) impenetrable quasi-narrative that reveals itself best over multiple re-viewings and over coffee with a group of friends. But, that is what I believe Malick is getting at - our Earthly problems, miracles, joys, and sorrows are just a microcosm of the vastness of the entire universe. What happens to us when we are born, when we die, and how we exist within that framework is an enormous, mind-bending question that cannot be answered, but if we live a life following grace, we cannot come to a bad end. That this overall thesis is presented over some of the most gorgeous cinematography, music scoring, directing, and acting of the year is a fantastic bonus. [Qualler]

Blogulator Radio Episode 37 - 20+ Shows That Didn't Suck in 2011

2012-01-09T21:44:00.000-06:00

Click here to stream/download the latest episode of Blogulator
Radio courtesy of the Fancy Pants Gangsters netcast network!

For the first time ever, the two complete sets of Blogulator Radio co-hosts (both Chris & Jerksica AND Qualler & Brigitte) join each other in the same room to talk television. And for this episode after the long winter break (thanks for hanging in there, listeners!) they’re going through 20+ shows from 2011 that didn’t suck. Some might call it a Best of 2011 list, but with a smattering of honorable mentions plus some ripe controversy amongst the top twenty, the best they can agree on is that some of them really like some of the shows talked about herein and some respect others’ opinions about those shows while not sharing those feelings completely. Lady Amy, formerly just the netcast’s international television correspondent, tags along as well after spending fourteen months out of the country to find out what she’s been missing. Hint: it’s a lot.

Listen to the ep for commentary, but for your listgasmic convenience, here is The Blogulator's Top 20 TV Shows of 2011:

1. Parks & Recreation (NBC)

2. Friday Night Lights (DirecTV/NBC)

3. Breaking Bad (AMC)

4. Louie (FX)

5. Game of Thrones (HBO)

6. Community (NBC)

7. Work of Art: The Next Great Artist (Bravo)

8. Cougar Town (ABC)

9. Justified (FX)

10. 30 Rock (NBC)

11. It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (FX)

12. Revenge (ABC)

13. Parenthood (NBC)

14. American Horror Story (FX)

15. Awkward. (MTV)

16. Happy Endings (ABC)

17. The Vampire Diaries (The CW)

18. Archer (FX)

19. Raising Hope (FOX)

20. Portlandia (IFC)

Blogulator Radio is brought to you in part by Netflix, where you can stream your favorite TV shows and movies from your TV, computer, or many other devices as often as you want for just 7.99 a month. Start your free two week trial today and help support independent netcasting.

For up to the minute updates all up in your upness, be sure to subscribe to Blogulator Radio via iTunes or RSS.

Being a modern show for modern people, we’ve got all sorts of ways to find us online. We’ve got your Facebook and your Twitter and your Google+, and you can follow Qualler and Chris on Twitter as well. Of course we always welcome comments or questions either in the comments below or through email at bradio@fancypantsgangsters.com. We also invite you to check out our non-audio version at TheBlogulator.com for more than just TV talk.

Coming Soon: The Blogulator's Best of 2011 Listgasm!

2012-01-06T13:59:00.003-06:00

Heads up! Starting this Monday you will finally be subjected to The Blogulator's Best of 2011 Listgasm. You may be overdosing on this kind of stuff by now, but us normal people who like to relax around the holidays and new year's are back and now want to reflect on the pop culture of the previous calendar year. Here's the schedule you can look forward to:

Monday - Blogulator Radio presents...The Top 20 TV Shows of 2011

Tuesday - The Top 10 Movies of 2011

Wednesday - The Top 10 Albums of 2011

Thursday - The Top 10 Top 40 Jams of 2011

Friday - DoktorPeace presents...The Top 10 Video Games of 2011

Saturday - OHD presents...The Top 10 Books of 2011

Check the hints in the Blogulator TV set above if you want to predict some of the entries on the lists! Can you name all 10?

Classic Television Rundown: Six Feet Under, Season Two, Episode Eleven: "The Liar and the Whore"

2011-12-19T06:00:00.000-06:00

Six Feet Under
Season Two, Episode Eleven: "The Liar and the Whore"
Written by Rick Cleveland
Directed by Miguel Arteta

Ruth: Maybe it's for the best.
Nate: Or maybe it's not for the best. Maybe it just is, and I just have to live with it.

It's been a while since I've rapped atchya regarding Six Feet Under, folks. And since then (August 29, 2011, to be exact), some of the castmembers of this show have either continued in their current new series or joined new series. Peter Krause continues to play Nate-but-not-as-free-spirited Adam Braverman on Blogulator favorite Parenthood, Michael C. Hall continues the march toward total irrelevance in the zillionth iteration of serial-killer-killin' in Dexter, Jeremy Sisto gets to play a regular, likable dude in ABC's new Suburgatory, and now the incomparable Frances Conroy graces our HDTVs with her capable acting in the sorta-Blogulator favorite American Horror Story, bringing the most grace she possibly can to scenes where she has to do things that would make Ruth Fisher blush. So, it's a little bit weird with 3/4ths of the Fisher family and 1/4th of the Chenowith family actively on other shows that I like, and makes me really wish for a wacky Six Feet Under reunion.

Especially after watching the eleventh episode of the second season, and seeing how gradually things have evolved for the members of the Fisher family. If there was a central theme of this episode that one could point to, it would be the various attempts our beloved characters made to break out of behavior cycles that hold them back.

Nate and Brenda, as they are somewhat the central characters to the second season (and, really, the series), had the, if not biggest, most central-to-the-story cycles to break out of, both together and separately. When Nate and Brenda talked to (sexy) Rabbi Ari (the hottest Rabbi ever!) about honesty in marriage, Nate took this as his opportunity to reveal to Brenda about knockin' up Lisa. As is typical of Nate, he does this because it is the "right thing to do." Of course, to Nate, this is a positive step toward breaking out of his dishonesty cycle - he thinks that by simply coming clean with Brenda about his impending child, he's finished with his personal betterment. He's wrong. This is clearly a behavior cycle that, thus far, Nate has yet to recognize, and he probably should realize it, but fails to do so. D'oh.

Meanwhile, this revelation spins Brenda into yet another step into her "dark sexual journey" (as one of the show producers referred to in commentary tracks from season two) and reflects back on the source of her pain: having witnessed her messed-up parents and their never-ending stream of sexual partners. Poor Brenda, who clearly has intense, complex issues that she's been dealing with, especially with a mostly healthy Billy at peace with Ma & Pa Chenowith's marriage renewal vows. Oh, baby boomers - will you ever stop being self-indulgent?

If I may be so bold to make a wacky comparison, Nate and Brenda's season two story arc seems to be somewhat of a parallel to Sam and Diane's story arc in season two of Cheers. Okay, yes, a completely different type of show, with different issues each couple deals with, but if the first season of Six Feet Under was about Nate & Brenda finding love in this crazy, screwed-up world they live in together, then season two is about how two people can't live with each other and can't live without each other (but also, can't live with each other.)

David and Keith are also trying to bust out of their negative cycles, albeit with slightly better, more constructive results. David is sick of Keith treating him like a doormat and calls him out on it. Keith, meanwhile, is being treated like a doormat himself by his Dad, who is clearly not comfortable with their role in niece Taylor's life. Keith tells his dad off and lets him know that they will continue to be in Taylor's life. It's not perfect, but it works.

Claire and Ruth are also trying to break out of slightly more light-hearted cycles, with Claire subconsciously trying to stop being a jerk to Mom and learn to have an adult relationship with her. It takes a few 'Shrooms (is that how you spell it? The drug? Anybody?) but Claire has a hilarious / heartwarming hug with Ruth in which she tells her how much she loves her and then gives her some jingly pants. Ruth, meanwhile, can't stop trying to be everyone's savior, taking a bunch of cash and giving it to the nefarious people who tell Nikolai that he owes them $87,000. When Ruth did this, my notes said, "Ruth, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! WHAT!??!! YOU REALLY GAVE THIS SKETCHY GUY $87K????? WHY?!?!?!?!? WHYYYYYYY?!?!?!?!?" It's true, Ruth. This is a bad decision. That's a lot of money. Yargh.

Some other plot machinations take place, like the woman who Nate showed the totally chopped up body of her husband to serving Nate with a big fat lawsuit (that happens to also be backed by Krohener. Snooze.) (She, however, was played by Harriet Sanson Harris, who played the unscrupulous agent for Dr. Frasier Crane on Frasier, and is pretty delightful. So that was good.) And the dead body of the episode was a patient that Vanessa worked with at her hospital. In fact, the revelation that the dead person died via hot dog asphyxiation (hey, why not) and possibly due to her mean room neighbor neatly reflected the action in the main characters' lives pretty well.

In the end, Nate's conversation with his mom as noted in the Quote of the Week above summed up the episode pretty well: sometimes stuff happens that isn't for the best, but it just is, and you just gotta do something about it. In the end, Brenda decides that, despite everything Nate has put her through, she still loves him enough and wants to work through those things with him. How one decides to deal with those things is one of the central tenets of this series, and one of the most engaging parts of the series in general. Yes, the show is much better when it focuses on the simple things.

Grade: B+

Miscallaneous trivia and memorable quotes

"You can't fuck for shit when you're on 'Shrooms." -Taylor
"I'll be back. Like Terminator, no?" -Sketchy guy looking for Nikolai's money
"Sometimes, truth is irrelevant." -Brenda
"I don't know what I feel. I don't feel anything." - Brenda, after Nate drops the baby-bomb on her.
"Would you like me to pick you up a frozen pizza and some videos?" -Ruth, to Claire. LOLZ!
Director Miguel Arteta directed four episodes of the first season of HBO's new Enlightened, which from what I've seen is thematically similar to this particular type of Six Feet Under episode - all about how stuff happens to people and what people do about it. Oh, and he also directed the "Rubber Man" episode of American Horror Story, which is not at all thematically similar to Six Feet Under. Except, y'know, the ghosts.
I do love how understated everything is in this episode, especially how understated Nate's somewhat Soapy reveal of his love child was presented. Good directing, Mr. Arteta.

Played Out: Video Game Stand-Up

2011-12-14T01:01:00.012-06:00

With nerd culture being so hot in comedy today with things like The Big Bang Theory and Dane Cook dominating the headlines, I've decided to draft the beginnings of my own, game-inspired routine. Check it. Here is exactly how it will play out:

The host begins: "Our next comedian is..."
(I jump on stage) Me! Sonic the Hedgehog!
(Audience murmurs): Is that really Sonic the Hedgehog? I thought he was a hedgehog not a human? This drink minimum is a total rip...

That's a brick wall behind me.

Just kidding. It's me, DoktorPeace.
(Audience sighs before transitioning into impressed applause).
I'll be your avatar for the evening.
(Laughs)
Seriously, though. Have you seen those XBox 360 avatars? They actually look like people... except that last time I checked, I don't really wear cowboy boots! I don't know why I put them on my avatar!
(Applause)
Anyway, thanks for having me tonight. I have to admit, I was afraid I'd come out here and lay an egg. Once I got to the dressing room, though, I looked in the mirror and realized, "Hey! I'm not Yoshi!"
(Uproarious applause).
I met Tino the stagehand backstage. He reminds me a lot of those New Yorkers in Grand Theft Auto IV. You know, the ones I run over with my car!
(Even more uproarious applause. A couple people fall into the aisle).
Have you guys been following the news? Herman Cain is a guy, and he's a lot like Bowser, don't you think?
(Laughs).
No no... I shouldn't say stuff like that about other people. I actually feel really good today. I met Ulala, the dancing reporter from Space Channel 5 at a Starbucks this morning. All I can say about her is... "Ooh La Larection!"
("Yes! Yes!")

Honestly, though, I don't think it's gonna work out. The only regions more uncharted than the game Uncharted 3 are my nethers! No wait... Kirstie Alley's nethers!
(The cops arrive. They immediately crack up.)
How many of you have kids?
(Some raised hands, but not too many cuz my crowd is young and cool).
Tell me: Are they all really as annoying as Baby Mario? Crying all the time? I mean, it's gotta be tough. I haven't even unlocked the code to the wahhhmbulance yet!
(Every safety code is violated).
Baby Mario is a pretty good kart racer, though. Anyway, that's my time. Gotta jet!
(I put on red sneakers like Sonic and run away.)
(Audience whispers): Wait... That really was Sonic?

Blogulator Radio 36: Parenthood 3 - Crosbwrecked

2011-12-12T12:55:00.000-06:00

Listen to the latest episode right here, or Dr. Joe will totally take your adorable son away in a totally agreeable, sensible, impossible-to-argue-with-or-be-truly-bitter-about way.

Lauren Graham Fan Forum, rejoice! Blogulator Radio presents their third All Parenthood, All The Time episode, featuring Qualler and Brigitte pontificating on the season-to-date of the NBC drama's third season. In this episode, Qualler and Brigitte give a status update on all the major characters of the show and give their thoughts on what they like and dislike about their totally-not-fictional-and-totally-real-life-friends, the Braverman family. (Spoiler alert: Adam's still a dickwad, and Crosby is still heartwarming.) Qualler also digs himself into some is-he-a-feminist-or-not holes that, well, does he get out of those holes? Listen to find out!

Web savvy? Of course you are. So…we have this Google+ page now. Just putting that out there. Thought you’d enjoy it.

For up to the minute updates all up in your upness, be sure to subscribe to Blogulator Radio via iTunes or RSS.

Today's Top 40 Spectrum: Crappy Love

2011-12-09T13:00:00.000-06:00

Welcome to the final edition of Today's Top 40 Spectrum for 2011. In a fitting sort of denouement, I have no idea how to rank, like I typically do, the five new songs currently in heavy-ish rotation on my local mainstream pop radio station(s). Seriously. I like a teeny tiny bit about each of these songs, but I tried and tried to move them around from least to most sucky and nothing really made sense. They're all songs about finding love in poopy situations (even if it's self-love in the case of, surprise surprise, "Ms. Angsty Kelly," as I like to call her) and they're all kind of poopy. Which sucks because the message is an interesting one, and in surprising moments even moving, but ultimately it doesn't add up to much more than flatlined melodies and a story that means little to nothing besides, "love sucks and then you die, but it's kind of great that we at least have love in this life." I told my wife that Top 40 was going through a rough patch the other day, and I hope you agree after reflecting on what it has to offer us as we enter the last year of Mayan calendar. Here they be, ranked alphabetically...

"Mr. Know It All" by Kelly Clarkson: Per the missive above, at least Clarkson mixes it up a bit by having more than an iota or five of self-esteem, but it's still a kind of cringe-worthy song about a destructive relationship. Yes, the titular Mister in question is probably not (just) an actual dude in her life, but you see, it's representative of "the system" that doesn't like when their girl pop stars are kind of bland and safe and so on. Oh and how cheesy is the video? Oh well, the overlapping chorus at the end kind of makes up for it. But not really. But kind of. Ad nauseum.

"Domino" by Jessie J: I was perhaps expecting too much from this British superstar-in-training. "Price Tag" was refreshingly unboring for the typical dancey chanteuse pop star, but this is so trad it's basically a stock entry in the mid-tempo file folder of death, along with anything that didn't quite hit #1 by Paula Cole, P!nk, or Gwen Stefani. Her voice is pleasant, though, and has just enough of a lilt to it that I'm not falling asleep until the third chorus, but by then I've realized I've just listened to the most disengaging sequence of melodies put together to describe the feeling of getting knocked over.

"How to Love" by Lil Wayne: Legitimately surprised that Weezy could make a song backed almost entirely by an acoustic guitar that didn't make me want to gag or dry heave (or both), this should actually be considered some kind of miracle, despite the anti-climax that this post is drenched with. Yes, the video is as manipulative as it is sincere, with confusing messages about abortion, single motherhood, and domestic abuse, but I was so genuinely shocked that the guy that uses candy euphemisms for talking about sex a little too often for an adult actually attempted to say something significant that I didn't even notice how slight the whole production was until the second playback.

"The One That Got Away" by Katy Perry: She caught my ear when she namedropped Radiohead in the first verse, but then I oh so quickly got lost in the vague cliches that apparently added up enough to some ambitious music video director to come up with a whole back story. If you couldn't tell by her "I can't believe no one has ever made a hit song with this title" lyrical ethic, it's allegedly about an old lady looking back to her first crazy love and how the dude (who is of course a painter) died because she effed up one of his works of art and so he drove his car off a cliff. Or something. Then there's a ghost and Johnny Cash covering "You Are My Sunshine." It's heavy. And yet not.

"We Found Love" by Rihanna feat. Calvin Harris: In the second video of this five that features tussling lovers half-forcing makeshift tattoos on each other's bodies we at least have some flashy aesthetics. They're largely stolen from Darren Aronofsky (Requiem for a Dream in Particular) and/or Sid & Nancy, but hey, at least they're stealing from the best. Too bad the song itself is such a lazy back-and-forth between techno builds to nowhere and somehow simultaneously too-short and too-often verses and choruses that all resemble each other far too closely. Again the theme of the month seems to be "tell a sad and tragic story, but make sure not to make it mean much other than that love is powerful and great no matter how many drugs we take, regrets we have, or strife we endure." Thanks, Top 40! You've depressed me AND added nothing new to the conversation!

Deck the Halls!: Sam's Guide to Christmas Cheer

2011-12-08T10:46:00.009-06:00

Christmas time is here! The halls are bedecked, the stockings hung by the chimney with care, the glittery tinsel providing and choking/lead-poisoning hazards to curious kitties everywhere. But maybe you’re not quite feeling the Christmas Spirit. Maybe the lines at the malls are just pissing you off. Maybe you’re feeling downright Grinch-y. Well, as a person whose entire raison d’être is Christmas, I thought it might be helpful to offer a guide to easing oneself into the joy of Christmas. With me as your swami, your Scrooge-y exterior will wash away, and soon you’ll be watching Miracle on 34th Street while cross-stitching stockings for the neighborhood poor.

My advice, first and foremost, is to avoid ABC Family’s "25 Days of Christmas". As tempting as watching an adorable, young, round-faced Daniel Radcliffe might be, do not succumb. Mostly because, even though there’s a Christmas scene in it, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone is not a Christmas movie. If we held every movie to that standard, then Mean Girls, Sleepless in Seattle, and You've Got Mail would all be considered Christmas movies. And let me tell you, you’re not going to be feeling too jolly when Harry is melting Quirrell’s face off with his bare hands. Plus, airing Harry Potter is just a ruse to get you to watch their absolutely abysmal original programming. Christmas in Handcuffs? Christmas Cupid? They’re like softcore porn for the whole family. Melissa Joan Hart’s career is dead, you guys. Let’s stop trying to resurrect it.

If you’re going to watch original programming, go for Lifetime. What they lack in quality they make up for in sincerity, and there’s nothing like watching Kristen Chenoweth fall in love while snowflakes that never melt fall gracefully on her golden curls to get you in the Christmas spirit. If you’re not a fan of Lifetime Original Movies (which is probably why we’re not friends) and still want to watch something Christmas-y without diving into Christmas glee of Elf, try watching Christmas episodes of your favorite TV show. The Chrismukkah episodes of The O.C. seasons 1 and 2 never fail to get me in the Christmas spirit (I weep every time Kirsten emerges from the closet crying, finally accepting her father’s illegitimate love child as her half-sister and the girlfriend of her adopted son), and, while quite heavy, the Christmas episodes of The West Wing will certainly give you fuzzy yuletide feelings. Just get your box set, pop in what’s usually the second disc, and let the holiday cheer wash over you.

It’s also necessary to ease yourself into Christmas when it comes to music. While just turning on your local Christmas radio station may be temptingly easy, switching over without proper preparation is the height of folly. My friends, there is some terrible Christmas music out there, and radio stations don’t generally make a distinction between the joyful and the awful, playing whatever they want with no regard to the fledgling Christmas-y feelings they are destroying with "Christmas Shoes" and "Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer" (the feature-length cartoon version of that song is frequently aired on the "25 Days of Christmas", just so everyone gets how awful that promotion is). I guarantee you that if you turn one of those Christmas stations on, within four songs you’ll switch back to NPR. So again, it’s important to ease yourself into the Christmas spirit, much like the proverbial frog in the pot of boiling water. Start with a Christmas album by a band you normally enjoy. She & Him just released a Christmas album, Pink Martini has a fun omni-holiday collection, and Sufjan Stevens has a whole freaking anthology. If that’s still too much to handle, make a playlist of some high-quality, non-Christmas music and throw a few of your favorite Christmas songs in. That way, “Call Your Girlfriend” will be followed by U2 singing “Baby Please Come Home”, thus lighting the tiniest flame of Christmas spirit in your cold, busy, unfeeling heart.

And once that spark is there, it’s easy to grow it into a blazing bonfire of yuletide joy! If you can successfully avoid the annoying things about Christmas ("25 Days of Christmas", television ads featuring Christmas, malls) and immerse yourself in the wonderful aspects of the holidays, every day can become jollier and jollier! Everyone has their own path to eventual oneness with the Christmas Spirit, and it’s important that you follow your own personal way. Perhaps you watch those old Claymation Christmas films and wallow in nostalgia for Christmases past. Perhaps you listen to a million different versions of “Merry Xmas (War is Over)” on Pandora while making your millionth Christmas list. Or perhaps, like me, you watch sappy Christmas movies like Love Actually and It’s a Wonderful Life, and, yes, Elf and weep with unadulterated Christmas Joy. Do whatever works best for you.

But if all else fails, just listen to Mariah Carey’s “All I Want for Christmas Is You.” There’s so enough Christmas Cheer in that song to make even the grinchiest of hearts melt with love.

Blogulator Radio Episode 35 - The Trilogy is Complete

2011-12-06T10:46:00.001-06:00

Click here to stream/download the latest episode of Blogulator Radio

via the Fancy Pants Gangsters netcast network!

This week Chris welcomes back former Blogulator contributor Lady Amy to the show for a third time as Blogulator Radio’s international television correspondent. First she was in China, and then Vietnam, and now she’s in India, so I guess you could say she’s just our Asian TV correspondent, but still. This time she pops in for three very different yet all equally entertaining reasons. To begin, she espouses the joys and horrors of one of India’s top rated programs, Lil’ Champs, which is essential American Idol meets Toddlers and Tiaras. Then, harkening back to her days as The Blogulator’s advertisement analysis expert, she dishes with Chris about the sordid and yet unfortunately kinda boring state of TV commercials in India. Finally, as (squeal!) Chris gets excited over Lady Amy’s impending return to these fine United States for the holidays, she reveals for you listeners her Top 5 Things She’s Looking Most Forward to Being Able to Watch Now That She’s Returning to American TV Soon. No, we are not working on the title. Deal with it.

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For up to the minute updates all up in your upness, be sure to subscribe to Blogulator Radio via iTunes or RSS.

Being a modern show for modern people, we’ve got all sorts of ways to find us online. We’ve got your Facebook and your Twitter and your Google+, and you can follow Qualler and Chris on Twitter as well. Of course we always welcome comments or questions either in the comments below or through email at bradio@fancypantsgangsters.com. We also invite you to check out our non-audio version at TheBlogulator.com for more than just TV talk.

Off the Couch and Into the Theater: December 2011

2011-12-02T14:38:00.001-06:00

First, a recap, then we'll get to the new releases for the final month of 2011. In the midst of unpacking a new home, plus readying said home to host a birthday soiree and a holiday family get-together, I managed to only catch The Muppets and J. Edgar this month. I could have and should have seen many other movies besides J. Edgar, but for a Clint Eastwood movie and for a biopic, it was decent. This is the trouble with both Clint Eastwood movies and biopics. You get something like Unforgiven or Capote and you start thinking maybe the director/genre knows what he's doing. And then every time a big new one comes out I want to see it, but am invariably left at least minorly cold and indifferent. I did kind of like Hoover was so unlikeable as a protagonist and yet still fascinating, but I pretty much stopped thinking about it when I woke up the next morning. I did do a project on the Lindbergh kidnapping in middle school, though, so I enjoyed seeing that recreated Hollywood-style. The Muppets, on the other hand, was predictably wonderful, especially the songs by Flight of the Conchords' Bret Mckenzie. And now, December's film releases both wide and limited for Minneapolis (with "Will I See It?" percentages in parentheses)...

Dec 2nd: I guess I don't understand why there are no wide releases this weekend. No one wants to go against the heavy hitters from Turkey Day? Pssh. Wusses. My Week with Marilyn (78%) is playing at the local art house cinema and I'd see that this weekend if the Minneapolis Underground Film Festival wasn't going down. I found out today that I'm moderating a bunch of the Q&A sessions there, so that'll be fun. I would like to see Michelle Williams in fancy dresses though. Also, there's a foreign movie out. Women on the 6th Floor (8%) is a French period flick about what happens when Spanish maids mess with some uppity rich Parisian couples. It's kind of like Tower Heist, but probably more boring and less offensively bad humor.

Dec 9th: Jonah Hill is a fat unlikely babysitter in The Sitter (53%), despite his svelte new physique he's been showing off on the late night talk shows. Some fat people look weird skinny and he's one of them, says the fourteen-hundredth movie blogger. It looks like Adventures in Babysitting redux and I'm kind of okay with that - if it's funny. I am not okay with New Year's Eve (6%), however, which is the next in a line of hyperlink holiday films like Valentine's Day, even threading through with Ashton Kutcher's character I believe, though I don't care enough to fact-check that. Back at the indieplex, Le Havre (82%) seems like a touching film in the vein of The Visitor, wherein a stowaway boy aboard a cargo ship winds up under the care of an elderly shoe shiner. Cue me bawling in the theater as quietly as possible. The Man Nobody Knew: In Search of My Father (77%) seems like an intriguing documentary, helmed by the son of former CIA director William Colby, who sets out to uncover the agency's controversial past before and through the Nixon administration. I love political thrilling!

Dec 16th: I never saw the first one, so I doubt I'll catch Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows (46%) in the theaters, but I guess its predecessor was entertaining? Robert Downey, Jr. and Guy Ritchie seem to be an ideal match. Great style, little substance. Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked (Gutrot%), however, really doesn't even compare, though it's also an unnecessary sequel. At least Sherlock is a canonical figure. Jason Lee, you ruined my childhood. Rent The Chipmunk Adventure instead where the real, animated characters travel via hot air balloon. It's awesome. Shame (89%) sure does seem like a sexy movie. Michael Fassbender is a sex addict whose predilections are obsessively and frequently indulged until a flame shows up that screws up his meticulously created private world of constant pleasure. Weird! Titillating! Steven McQueen directs! Young Adult (68%) reunites the Juno duo of Minnesota-bred screenwriter Diablo Cody and Jason Reitman, and was partially filmed around here. Charlize Theron is whatever the female equivalent of "manchild" is and tries to win back some dude's heart. The trailers make it look like Cody's taking her dialogue more seriously, but also it looks mega-glossy, so who knows. Tomboy (70%) is also French and looks better than the other French movie above. It's about a little girl who's so fed up with being mistaken for a boy that she just rolls with it. I can relate! Ah, skater hair from 1995. The Artist (100%) is probably the most blogged about indie flick of the year and likely with good reason. Yes, it's a gimmick, but oh how I've longed for a modern silent film. Doesn't even matter what it's about.

Dec 21st: The wife and I saw the trailer for the American remake of The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (92%) for the umpteenth time recently and at the end she turned to me and said, so deadpan it hurt, "Ohhh it's David Fincher? I would have never guessed." I of course fell for this ruse and was subsequently laughed at. Still, I want to see it basically for that reason even though I have conflicted feelings about Larsson's trilogy and American remakes in general. In other "I'm a sucker" news, Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol (81%) will likely not be as fun as the first three installments of the franchise, directed by De Palma, Woo, and Abrams respectively, but I'm curious to see The Incredibles' Brad Bird take a shot at it. Is it just me or does Spielberg's motion capture attempt at the adaptation of the French comic The Adventures of Tintin (74%) just look like a video game? Not sure what the hubbub is, but it's Spielberg, so we'll find out I assume.

Dec 23rd-25th: (Jam-packed holiday week of releases, so it's split up for sanity.) Speaking of Spielberg, he's also got his live action epic War Horse (67%) coming out this same holiday weekend, and while it looks like quintessential sap for the war movie veteran, there are still somehow shots in the trailer that are undeniably moving. Then there's the new Cameron Crowe flick We Bought a Zoo (86%), starring Matt Damon who does what the title says he does and the plural pronoun implies there's a family of some kind. I think it's telling that the billboards say "from the director of Jerry Maguire" instead of Say Anything or Almost Famous. Jonsi from Sigur Ros does the score though, so I'm there. The Darkest Hour (65%) is another alien invasion movie, but I think maybe the first in 3D, if that floats your boat. It doesn't mine, but I still like alien invasion movies, and I like Olivia Thirlby and I don't hat Emile Hirsch or Moscow as a setting. Precocious child alert! Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close (53%) tells the story of a 9-year-old genius who goes on a search for what the key his father left before being killed in 9/11 unlocks. Heart-wringing, I'm sure, but emotionally manipulative is where I might draw the line, depending on Oscar bait/buzz. Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy (99%) has also gotten tons of buzz, but I think potentially more rightly so, as it stars Gary Oldman as a cold war-era spy, which is basically where the log line needs to end to get me on board. Lastly, the Freud/Jung biopic by weirdo/genius auteur David Cronenberg, A Dangerous Method (96%), finally gets released after a month-long postponement here in the Minneap.

P.S. Per usual, big thanks to the dudes at Uptown Theatre who provide me with advance indie release dates for the local Landmark Theatres!

Sarah's Key by Tatiana de Rosnay

2011-12-01T23:00:00.004-06:00

There are some books I just never think I'm going to read. I read about them online, I see them all over the bookstores (this is especially true for airport bookstores), they're written by Mitch Albom, etc. Everyone's read them, it seems, and yet I take one look and say, nope, not for me. You know what's good at ruining these plans-to-not-read-specific books? Book clubs. Sarah's Key was one of those books, but one of my buddies picked it for book club, and since I believe that one of the most important things about book clubs is forcing me to read things I never would otherwise, I took it as an omen and picked up the trade paperback a few weeks ago.

I get why people are so into this book. For one thing, it's set in Paris, and who doesn't love a book set in Paris? Also, it's a Holocaust novel, and while you'd think that would turn people off, what with the horrors of those years and the general human tendency to avoid looking pain and suffering in the eye, but as we all know that's not the case. The Holocaust is an event (event is the wrong word, but it's late and I'm tired) that we in the Western world cannot look away from, as we shouldn't. There are as many stories to be told as people who lived (or didn't) through that time, and even though writing books and movies and poems about the Holocaust is an act of processing as well as an act of remembrance, I don't think we will ever quite come to terms with it.

But mostly, I think Sarah's Key has caught on so well because it's a story told through an extremely feminine lens. I didn't even accidentally type "feminine" instead of "feminist"! It's simply a story about two women and the way in which their stories grow together despite time and geography. And it's an interesting story, one that comforts even as it horrifies. I think that's because it's all about remembering the past so that it won't be forgotten, which is a very basic human idea. Preservation of identity, celebration of story...we've been doing this for eons and we won't ever stop, because our greatest fear, I think, is not necessarily of death, but that nobody will remember us when we're gone.

The novel begins in 1942, with the story of the Vel'd'Hiv. I--probably like most people--am not very well acquainted with the particulars of what happened in Nazi occupied France during World War II, and wasn't aware, like most of the story's modern day characters, that on July 16 of that year, the Vichy government and the French police rounded up thousands of French Jews and locked them inside the Velodrome d'Hiver, a sports arena, for several days before transporting them to Nazi concentration camps. The first half of the book alternates chapters between the story of one little girl (unnamed until much later in the story, she is the titular Sarah, which isn't too hard to figure out) during the Vel'd'Hiv and Julia Jarmond, a forty-five-year-old journalist in modern Paris writing an article about the anniversary of the Vel'd'Hiv for an English-language magazine. Back in 1942, Sarah takes a few moments while her family is being rounded up by the French police to hide her brother in a secret cupboard in their apartment, thinking she'll come back for him. Years later, Julia's family is about to move in to Sarah's old apartment, which was acquired by her husband's family after its Jewish residents had been sent to Auschwitz, and it is through this connection that Julia learns of Sarah's story and sets about trying to trace her through the years.

I feel like saying more about the plot would betray some vital twists and important moments, but I will say that, interesting as it turned out to be, I found Sarah's story difficult to sink in to. I think this has to do with the way her portions of the novel were written; Julia's parts were in the first person, which made her more immediately compelling, and while the third person feels right for Sarah, the fact that she went unnamed, as did her parents, for nearly all of her chapters was distancing. I get that names are very vital to this story, and not just particular names but the idea of naming things, the way in which names are tied up in identity, but when people are mostly referred to as "the girl" and "the woman" and "her father", it's a bit difficult to identify with them as people rather than storytelling vessels.

Sarah's Key definitely loses steam as Sarah's story comes to its climax (halfway-ish through the novel) and Julia takes over entirely, weaving the plot threads toward their inevitable tidy ending (because it is tidy, almost too much so). But it's a fascinating introduction to a little known (at least by me) facet of some of the darkest years in recent human history, and the themes of human connection, individual value, and remembrance are deftly juggled and explored in an interesting way. I don't know that I would recommend this book to just anybody (ironic, since it seems just about everyone has already read it), but I can see why it's become so popular, and why it will probably continue to be read for many years to come.

The book was actually made into a movie that is apparently already out on DVD. Trailer looks pretty good, so if you're not a huge reader, I suggest checking it out. I definitely will be.

Played Out: Uncharted 3: Sonic's Deception?

2011-11-30T06:00:00.002-06:00

About a month ago I served my American duty and took advantage of a buy-2-get-1 free offer at Target, with the main target of this patriotic venture being Uncharted 3. The new Batman game was my high #2, and the third was a toss-up until I got to the store. A myriad of new sports games shone at me from the shelves, offering countless hours of entertainment... hours that ultimately turned me away. I simply don’t believe I’m currently in a place where I should be giving video games in general that many hours, so I turned to the hedgehog instead.

That’s right. Despite my recent posts attacking Sega for its complete obliteration of the Sonic series and collateral disillusionment of sexy animal fanfic, I bought the new Sonic Generations. What can I say? The demo convinced me that it would offer something a Sonic game hadn’t offered in a while – a legitimate, tight platformer; and, most importantly, one with minimal story.

I did get stuck with some crappy scenes about Sonic and his friends having a picnic, but otherwise the decision has proven to be one of my best. Note: I make a LOT of good decisions (I ate broccoli tonight). I’ve ended up dedicating a ton of time to this game –- not sports game time but still life-dying time -- , and mostly enjoyed myself doing so. It’s meant to serve as a celebration of Sonic’s 20 years, and there’s a lot of good nostalgia to be had, with every stage an iteration of a previous one, the ability to play old chiptunes over the new, and those sweet red sneakers. Some areas are still messy, with bizarre deaths punishing you for straying even an inch off the directed path, the controls still feel a bit heavier than they did way back in the original Sonic, and the final boss is absolute garbage; yet this appears to at least be the beginning of the evolution that always should’ve happened.

Window dressing. That’s the evolution. Beautiful, relevant, rewarding window dressing that serves to elevate the same gameplay that worked twenty years ago.

On the opposite side, we have Uncharted 3. Oh, I finished the game in three days and generally had a decent time, but this former the apple of my eye far too often succeeded primarily in demonstrating what happens when all the window dressing of so many modern games fades away. What remains is a semi-interactive experience far more dependent on entertaining you through its storytelling than its mechanics.

I didn’t love this new Nathan Drake adventure – it’s all becoming a bit too National Treasure for me, where the characters simply bounce unbelievable historical revelations off each other until they figure out the next place to go – but riding through the amazing set pieces Uncharted delivers is still a treat. Unfortunately, the main attraction is so finely produced that every inadvertent death is a literary disaster, completely removing the player from the adventure as they restart from a checkpoint and try to determine where they should have run slightly left instead of slightly right. In Sonic, everything is very obviously a game, and your remaining life cache is proudly displayed in the corner of the screen. Uncharted has the burden of offering the opportunity for failure without disintegrating the illusion of verisimilitude, and I just don’t think they know how to do it.

Whereas the original Uncharted was a decent Tomb Raider clone – supernatural craziness and all – I feel the series has progressed past the polish of Uncharted 2 and into a zone where the series' primary gameplay mechanic weighs down the game. As confessed by its multiplayer, this game wants to be a shooter, yet every battle ends up a bothersome interruption. I won’t get into the control problems I had this time around, as the developer has already released a huge aiming patch in response to user feedback. However, as I did get myself constantly killed, I found myself exasperated at the logic behind what was happening onscreen. Where are all these enemies coming from? Why do they keep coming? Why is the insane number of guys I’m killing never addressed in a story that still seems to accept a premise that every life is sacred?

I don’t know if this is any more of an issue than it was in previous games or than it is in any product of the James Bond archetype, but the more I had to replay the same shootouts, the more I realized just how silly it all was. And unlike Sonic, silly in Uncharted feels wrong.

There's no grand conclusion to make beyond my own bafflement in preferring one to the other. There's also no grand conclusion to make because I'm going to play the new Zelda now. It's one of those great decisions I make, in absentia of real decisions. Note: I'm going to drink some apple juice, too.

Blogulator Radio 34: Thanksgiving Leftovers (Turkey Scraps)

2011-11-28T17:28:00.001-06:00

Download/Listen to the newest episode here. Don't just take Mitch and Gail Leery's respective plunging necklines and gigantic hair's word for it.

In this week’s tryptophan-induced episode of Blogulator Radio, Qualler and Brigitte re-hash the oodles and oodles of television they watched over Thanksgiving break. (Who uses the term “oodles and oodles”? Apparently we do.) Before they do that, though, they catch you up on the latest in television news in a “What’s New……….s” segment, where they discuss the imminent danger cult faves Community and Cougar Town face by their respective networks, discuss the long-rumored-and-now-possibly-actually-true-cuz-there’s-a-press-release-attached-to-it new season of Arrested Development. They also preemptively put some new shows into Development Heaven / Hell, including the Untitled Sarah Silverman Sitcom on NBC, and Touch starring Kiefer “The Kief” Sutherland and run by Tim “Heroes Totally Petered Out After Its First Season” Kring. In the meantime, they talk about what they caught of the new ABC Wednesday Comedy lineup, the truly bizarre A Very Gaga Thanksgiving, the Woody Allen documentary on PBS’s American Masters, and all the Cheers, Law & Order: SVU and The Vampire Diaries catch-up you could possibly handle. So yes, oodles and oodles of television.

For up to the minute updates all up in your upness, be sure to subscribe to Blogulator Radio via iTunes or RSS.

Qualler's Blogulator Thanksgiving

2011-11-23T12:21:00.001-06:00

I feel about Thanksgiving the way Brigitte feels about Halloween: pure, unrepentant, almost-bordering-on-evil joy. What ISN'T there to love about Thanksgiving?! Let's see -- it's the only holiday that pretty much requires people to stay at home. You get two paid days of work off for it. There are football games on TV. There are road races to be run. And, there is FOOD SO MUCH FOOD AND TURKEY IS DELICIOUS. And the holiday even encourages naps! Amazing. You're the best, Thanksgiving.

And, like Chris & Jerksica did for this week's Blogulator Radio, it's a time to give either sincere (or spitefully sincere) thanks to the people, places and things that make your life so full of thanks. And we here at The Blogulator have had a long and rich tradition of being thankful for things in pop culture. Here are the pop cultural things that I am most thankful for in 2011.

Music!
R.E.M. 1982-2011.
Oh, R.E..M. My favorite band of all time, the band that most inspired me and moved me and made me dance. I am grateful and thankful for your long and storied career. You had your ups and your downs, but you fought through all of them to just be who you are. And when you decided it was time to quit, you unrepentantly quit, with no apologies and no winks that, maybe, just maybe, they'd be back for a reunion tour to line their pockets. In recent interviews, Mike Mills commented on the fact that they knew going in that this year's Collapse Into Now would be their last, and recently re-listening to it, it makes all the more sense. Thanks. R.E.M.

Movies!
Longevity For Old Guy Movie Directors (like Werner Herzog and Woody Allen)
It's not always great when old guys keep directing movies forever. But, we can be grateful for the constant quantity of work that gets produced by some directors. (Hey Paul Thomas Anderson, you could maybe learn a lesson here. Don't give me this "Wah, nobody will finance my movies" BS. You need to produce films. It's okay if they're not totally perfect. Just produce anything at all, ever. You were supposed to be our generation's Scorsese, and instead Scorsese is our generation's Scorsese.) And like clockwork, we can expect an annual film in the local arthouse movie theater by Werner Herzog and by Woody Allen. Herzog's most recent documentary Into the Abyss is a typically hypnotic, thoughtful, beautiful and tragic look at death row inmates. And PBS's recent Woody Allen documentary on American Masters is a fascinating, rare look inside Mr. Allen's personal life and his filmmaking process. Dammit, even Terrance (Terry is what I call him 'cuz we're buds) Malick is churning out work like crazy these days. Quantity over quality! It's the Thanksgiving way!

Television!
Teen Dramas
I admit that I'm on a bit of a teen drama kick. Revenge, though it's not technically a teen drama, kind of follows teen drama tropes, is my favorite new drama of the Fall (haven't seen Homeland yet, though! Somebody Showtime me!) Catching up on The Vampire Diaries is pretty amazing, and I admit I am totally finding Elena a very attractive lady. And who knew Ian Somerhalter was such a showstopper? Most importantly, I have finally started to watch Brigitte's Dawson's Creek DVDs from the beginning, and that first season is a solid B/B+, with nary a scent of the intense schmaltz that occurs in later seasons that gave me such a gross feeling about the show. The transition from self-doubting Joey Potter to bland Joey Potter from season one to season two is an extremely disappointing one, but Joey Potter season one might be making my proverbial Top 10 TV Characters list after seeing her entire arc in that first season.

Video Games!
NBA 2K11's MyPlayer Mode
I'm extremely sad about the NBA season being locked out with a possibility that I will have to wait until next Fall to see Ricky Rubio toss alley-oops to Derrick Williams and Rick Adelman grumpily pointing at players while that crazy guy who has courtside tickets at Target Center hits the court with his newspaper. But, it's sorta a'ight since I just finished my rookie season as the eventual starting PG for the New York Knicks. Amar'e Stoudemire is a point guard's dream teammate, what with the sweet inside-outside game the two of us have together. (Dude gets double-teamed, tosses it back out to me on the perimeter, and hits the three pointer like WHOA.) Plus, in real life, Amar'e is a total hipster. And I wear a headband and look like a total hipster on the court, so we're buds. Video game friendship is much stronger than any real life NBA lockout could ever be.

Friends!
Seriously, guys, my friends are the best. From the IRL friends who have written on The Blogulator with me since 2005(!!!), to the Twitter friends I have made, to all the other cool people who do cool stuff, I am thankful. Here are some of the Blogulator posts of Thanksgivings past.

"Today We Give Thanks to the Biopic In A Way Similar To How The Pilgrims Thanked The Injuns" -Chris, Thanksgiving 2005

"...And Music Is My Mashed Potato" -Chris, Thanksgiving 2006

"Stars: They're Nothing Like Us (Thanksgiving Edition)" -Lady Amy, Thanksgiving 2008

Pop culture is fun, y'all. Sometimes bad stuff happens in pop culture, like the potential cancellation of Comunity and Cougar Town. But sometimes, pop culture can bring us good stuff. Let us all give thanks to the thankful things we have to be thankful for.

Now, eat some turkey and go to see the Muppets movie.

The Luxe by Anna Godberson

2011-11-22T10:52:00.003-06:00

I don't like to think of myself as a book snob, but, like most of the things I don't like to think of myself as but often do, I am one. I try really, really hard not to be, because for many years it has been my position that there's no such thing as a "guilty pleasure", or at the very least there shouldn't be, and that I'm proud of everything I read/watch/listen to (hello, I'm probably the only person on God's green goodness who is very open about loving Hanson, don't get me started). I just believe in sincere and earnest enjoyment of things and have no interest in ironic entertainment--it sounds like a lot of work.

But I have prejudices. I can't pretend I don't. And ever since I even heard of The Luxe I've been like, absolutely not. It's a packaged book, and I'm not such a huge fan of book packaging, and the Gossip Girl meets Age of Innocence comparison makes me want to jump off the goddamn roof because GOSSIP GIRL and EDITH WHARTON in the SAME SENTENCE SHUT UP PLEASE. And then there's the highly commercial cover, which I just took offense to on principle; what, you think you're going to make a teenage girl pick this book up just by putting a pretty dress on the cover? (Answer: yes. Also: it works. In addition: What a pretty dress.)

So I was pretty surprised/horrified to discover that The Luxe is exactly that: Gossip Girl meets Age of Innocence. And also, it does what it sets out to do (be Gossip Girl meets Age of Innocence) so incredibly well that I actually found it frustrating I hadn't thought of this idea myself. Although, let's be honest, the book has a pretty nonsensical title.

The Luxe begins with a funeral, the funeral of teen socialite Elizabeth Holland, who plunged to her death from her buddy Penelope's carriage into the icy cold waters of the Hudson River (?? but just go with it). In attendance is the whole of turn of the century New York high society, because Elizabeth is the beloved eldest daughter of the Holland family, but two people are particularly conspicuous: Elizabeth's fiance, Henry Schoonmaker, and her sister, Diana. Henry, because he doesn't seem that bereaved though ostensibly Elizabeth was the love of his life, and Diana because she's smiling. Wait, what? I know. It gets good.

Then the book flashes back to months before, and as the secrets behind Elizabeth's disappearance begin to unravel (because they never did find her body) and all the young gossip guys rotate through the bedrooms of all the young gossip girls, things start to get AWESOME. Secret trysts abound, schemes are hatched, guilt trips are laid, people are laid, and then people are killed. It's GREAT. The period detail is also pretty good, all things considered, but the book is still way accessible without feeling like it was written for idiots, all the characters are fairly sympathetic in their ways, and if I hadn't cheated and read the descriptions of the rest of the books in the series on Wikipedia I would actually want to continue (let's just suffice to say I'm annoyed by what happens to some of my favorite couples and I just won't put myself through that).

Anyway, HIGHLY recommended. I wouldn't even really call it fluff, because the historical detail, the pacing, and the deftly handled multiple POVs make it good, engaging fun. It's good that I read this, and loved it, because sometimes my snobbery needs a beat down, just like everybody' else's.

Blogulator Episode 33 - "(Kind of) Thankful"

2011-11-21T17:44:00.001-06:00

Download/stream the latest episode of Blogulator Radio here
via the Fancy Pants Gangsters netcast network!

This week, which features Turkey Day right around the bend, Chris and Jerksica thought about doing what Qualler and Brigitte did a few weeks ago with the Halloween episode and talk about famous Thanksgiving episodes, but they failed to remember a lot of the ones the Internet suggested to them. So instead you get 40-odd minutes of the married couple discussing what they’re thankful for on TV nowadays. It’s quite a challenge for a couple of complainers, but they make it work…kind of. Unfortunately around the 15-minute mark they start sliding effortlessly back into criticizing territory. So, to keep in theme with the holidays, you get some thanks, some shows/tropes/annoying things on TV they would classify as “a real turkey,” and a questionable amount of rambling about the cast of the 1995 teen comedy Clueless. Enjoy your awkward/bitter/humorous family gatherings, everyone!

Web savvy? Of course you are. So…we have this Google+ page now. Just putting that out there. Thought you’d enjoy it.

Blogulator Radio is brought to you in part by Netflix, where you can stream your favorite TV shows and movies from your TV, computer, or many other devices as often as you want for just 7.99 a month. Start your free two week trial today and help support independent netcasting.

For up to the minute updates all up in your upness, be sure to subscribe to Blogulator Radio via iTunes or RSS.

Being a modern show for modern people, we’ve got all sorts of ways to find us online. We’ve got your Facebook and your Twitter and your Google+, and you can follow Qualler and Chris on Twitter as well. Of course we always welcome comments or questions either in the comments below or through email at bradio@fancypantsgangsters.com. We also invite you to check out our non-audio version at TheBlogulator.com for more than just TV talk.

Chatnip

2011-11-18T13:00:00.000-06:00

Here's an episode from a chatting-style show I do with my friend Ryan. You can find us on YouTube. We chat about silly things. Enjoy.

TV Shows I Have Questions About

2011-11-17T20:55:00.001-06:00

So before Jerksica and I once again babble on about various TV-related things on another episode of Blogulator Radio next week, I'd like to ask some questions about TV I've watched recently. You are welcome to answer them, because I sure as hell don't have any answers. Won't you join me?

Regarding Pan Am on ABC:

Are you still a show? I think you are because I watch you, but then how come I forget all about you for weeks at a time and then overdose on your Spielbergian fluff for too many episodes in a row?

Dearest Christina Ricci, do you know you're doing that with your face and voice? You're quite a good actress, and maybe this is you being hammy on purpose for the tone and sheen of the show, but why must you distract and practically take me out of the world of these characters with your jarringly fizzy take on "the female Gatsby" as whatever-your-character's-name-is so calls herself?

Have you heard of this show called The Hour? Did you know they actually know how to do both a spy story and a character study at the same time, unlike you, who's constantly determined to oscillate between romance and intrigue like they're two different shows?

Regarding American Horror Story on FX:

Why should I care about the ghosts as characters, who often have their own scenes and story arcs apart from the more central, alive, and human characters?

How come, if I am so sure that I can in no way identify with someone who is dead, the cray-cray occurrences just keep reeling me in episode after episode regardless of actual sense-making?

Why is Dylan McDermot so incredibly distraught when he's around very human, very alive characters such as his wife, but when his mistress that he just buried underneath a gazebo coughs up blood in his basement, he's just like, "would you please leave, nice lady?"

Regarding The Hour on BBC America:

How is it that I've managed to watch semi-periodically one mediocre Mad Men rip off (Pan Am) and at least 1.75 episodes of one really terrible Mad Men rip off (The Playboy Club) but have missed the one actually really good Mad Men rip off (the show in question)?

Am I really that predictable that any actress that even remotely looks like Jodie Foster automatically causes my wife to glare at me from across the couch due to my gushing and new-celebrity-crushing?

Why can't TV music be this distinctive, evocative, and just plain good on every drama?

Regarding Once Upon a Time on ABC:

I think I can tell some Losties work on your set and/or in your writers' room, but did you happen to neuter them before they started churning out scripts? Or did I just never really accept the fact that the expository dialogue regarding the mythology of that show was equally as heavy-handed?

Do you know how silly it is to have grown adults portraying fairy tale princes and princesses in a program that's too involving to be rewarding for kids, and therefore must only be targeted to young and full-on adults? Cuz it is, really.

Can you tell me why it is, then, that despite my constant flirtations with ralphing all over my family room while viewing myself from outside of myself watching a show about fairy tale characters stuck in real life with twinkly music in the background, that I still kinda wanna watch more episodes?

Regarding Work of Art: The Next Great Artist on Bravo:

Actually, you know what? No questions. Keep on doing what you do.

Blogulator Radio Episode 32 - New Newness

2011-11-15T08:20:00.001-06:00

Download/stream the latest episode of Blogulator Radio
right here via the Fancy Pants Gangsters netcast network!

Qualler and Brigitte have spent some time catching up on shows that they haven’t seen much of yet. Some of those shows are new, some are old, some are new to them, and some were once new, then were old, and now are new again. (Following?) In this week’s episode of Blogulator Radio, the dynamic duo gives the lowdown on HBO’s (new) Enlightened and (old) How to Make It In America. They also give their thoughts on the (once new, then old, now new again) Beavis and Butt-head (spoiler alert: we are REALLY happy that this is back!) updated thoughts on the (new) American Horror Story, and thoughts on (the new to them) The Vampire Diaries. We swear it comes off less convoluted in netcast form.

Blogulator Radio is brought to you in part by Netflix, where you can stream your favorite TV shows and movies from your TV, computer, or many other devices as often as you want for just 7.99 a month. Start your free two week trial today and help support independent netcasting.

For up to the minute updates all up in your upness, be sure to subscribe to Blogulator Radio via iTunes or RSS.

Being a modern show for modern people, we’ve got all sorts of ways to find us online. We’ve got your Facebook and your Twitter, and you can follow Qualler and Chris on Twitter as well. Of course we always welcome comments or questions either in the comments below or through email at bradio@fancypantsgangsters.com. We also invite you to check out our non-audio version at TheBlogulator.com for more than just TV talk.

Today's Top 40 Spectrum: Full Recovery

2011-11-11T09:00:00.000-06:00

Top 40 sure has recovered from last month. And by last month, I mean a month-and-a-half ago. Yes, yes, I am behind, so please excuse some of these songs for being already winding down on the Billboard charts, if not completely absent by now. But while I will still attempt to do two more Today's Top 40 Spectrum posts, I think with this here installment I officially have more than enough songs for my Top 10 of the Top 40 of 2011 list. Like it will actually feel uncomfortable, even without getting through the rest of this year, cutting some vapid pop songs from my allotted ten. That's messed up, dudes. Is the machine eating me up or is Top 40 music actually getting slowly but surely better? Who knows. What I do know is that this entry's assortment of tuneage is nearly uniformly enjoyable, even if nearly every song has some kind of inherently sucky/obnoxious quality. Well enough surmising - let's get on with it! Here's my most recent cavalcade of Top 40 jams, ranked from most to least tolerable/enjoyable below...

"In the Dark" by Dev: One of my students told me that I should careful when I watch the video for this song because it's weird and "almost too sexy." Not only is that one of the weirdest comments a student has ever said to me, it's also oddly true, despite the fact that there is far less skin or jiggling occurring here than nearly 99% of all pop videos in existence. Sure, there's one recurring shot in particular that's obliquely alluring, but I think most of the discomforting lust appeal stems from the song itself, which I would go so far as to venture labeling as a stone-cold modern classic. Not only does Dev improve on the hollowness of "Like a G6" by actually making a song that's about something, but cool detachment is replaced with hot steam in the tone department. Add an indelible saxophone sample and you've got yourself a not necessarily cerebral piece of pop, but definitely a memorable and visceral one.

"Without You" by David Guetta feat. Usher: Let's get one thing straight. Usher is done. Put a fork in him. But I'll be damned if Guetta gets some good use out of his aching yet innocuous croon as a backdrop for his Eurotrance-or-whatever beat destruction. It's strangely wowing to see a DJ that's not necessarily unique in any shape or form manage to provide an adequate amount of spectacle on his own through arpeggio-happy sequencers and fake kick drum pulsing, which just pushes the basically one long chorus by your guest singer into the background to the point where it makes sense that the person's voice is designated as featured rather than the primary author. Even the sickly sweet video, which (gasp!) tells a story no less, can be forgiven because every lens flare and slow motion jump in the air perfectly embodies what makes pop music so euphoric when does without deception or malice, but with just pure unadulterated celebration. Whether it's of the self or the other is up for debate; don't think to hard though - just let your eyes widen when that bleep-bloop climax explodes.

"It Girl" by Jason Derulo: As you can tell by reading my faves for the month in the sidebar to your right, I am currently enjoying the act of damning whistling appearing so cacophonously and ubiquitously in Top 40 songs this fall. First it was "Moves Like Jagger" by Maroon 5 (a song I'm embarrassed to say has grown on me since I bashed it to shreds in this here column). Then it was Britney Spears' umpteenth forgettable hit "I Wanna Go" that jumped on the bandwagon. Now it's my dearly formerly beloved Jason Derulo, whose smash jam "In My Head" from last year was a not-so-secret obsession of mine. His Harry Belafonte-sampling first single from his new album didn't warm my heart over, though, and so I thought I was done with him. But then he comes back and wriggles his way back into my soft embrace, despite the fact that he is now the THIRD person on my radio whistling a hooky little piece of audio poop at me in between smooth verses and an airy yet amiable chorus. Oh how divisive our love must be! Why must you torment me so, Jason?!

"Sexy and I Know It" by LMFAO: Not...really...sure...what to make of this. Does the main guy with the fro wish he was "Weird" Al for a new generation? Cuz he's certainly acting like it a lot more here than he ever has before, and yet it feels like a completely logical progression from "Party Rock Anthem." These guys have a shtick and they're shticking to it. Neon and gaudy everything. Goofy dancing and facial expressions. So while it's ultimately a silly Z-grade Flight of the Conchords song and an obnoxious C-grade "Weird" Al song, the internet age acronymic collective have developed an aesthetic and oeuvre. And it's unsettling, but hell if it ain't at least a compelling novelty for 2011. And that's basically all they're trying for, right? Nothing more, nothing less? Well, I enjoy it more with the video anyway. It's refreshing even if it's crass to play on the gender/sexpectations of the music video with such uninhibited delight.

"Cheers (Drink to That)" by Rihanna: Believe it or not, even though it's at the bottom of the spectrum, I think this might be the only Rihanna song I've liked for more than a couple seconds since "Umbrella." I think I kind of liked "What's My Name?" when that was on the radio constantly but I honestly can't remember what it sounds like now (though part of this problem may be that I have this song and many M83 songs currently in my head). The weird thing about this, though, is that there's only a couple distinguishing qualities that set this apart from all of the monotonous glut of half-assed Rihanna hits from the past couple years, one of which is the immediately jarring third chorus in which it sounds like literally a room of drunken fans were recorded singing Rihanna's part before the Barbadian in question suddenly swoops back in and reclaims her song. That moment where it slides everything back into place is so exquisitely chosen and executed that the woozy nature of the song (whether intentional or not) can be forgiven. The other thing is that hey, it sounds like Rihanna actually cares about something kind of! Sigh, it's just drinking, nay, "toasting," but at least she doesn't sound like she wishes she were dead! Right?

In Time: Not Worth Your Time

2011-11-10T13:25:00.005-06:00

I feel like I should start this post off with some sort of pun about time in which I remind you that time is literally money in the film, In Time. Like, “I promise I won’t waste your time.” I say this because the first third of the movie made sure that its audience understood that time is literally money. It’s a pretty radical and confusing concept, so let me spell it out for you: People age until they’re 25 and then they get one extra year. The people have a limited amount of time to live, so they exchange it for various goods. What’s more, they are paid for their labor with more time. So when a person says, “I don’t have time for that,” in this society, they are referring both to the literal idea of time as a force that moves consistently forward and the currency that they use. Time is money. Money is time.

But seriously, if you run out of time, you die. You “clock out”. Say you miss the bus on the way to pick up some time from your son. If you don’t run, you could run out of time. And then you’d die. This happened to Justin Timberlake’s mom. She was running, she ran out of time, she made an awkward noise, and she died in his arms. So time is actually time, an ever-ticking clock counting down to your death. If you keep getting time, you keep living. If you run out of time, you die.

Thus, while time is money, it is also just time. DID I BLOW YOUR MIND?

I know this might be a bit much to understand, but luckily for you, the writers of this movie not only painstakingly explain the time-is-currency concept, but continue to beat you over the head with it until you get it. Or until it’s not just Justin Timberlake’s failure as a dramatic actor that makes you want to leave the theatre.

On a somewhat related note, Justin Timberlake is a totally unconvincing crier. This is the first time he really gets into the weeping and the wailing that I’ve seen, and I get the feeling that he’s never done it before, as if he emerged the womb as douche-y and self-important as he is now. Timberlake does well in roles that are basic variations of his bro-tacular self (The Social Network, Friends with Benefits, Alpha Dog), but when it comes to being dramatic, it’s totally un-engaging. Even when he tries to act dramatically in limited way, like trying to make us believe that his character fears “clocking out” (as opposed to how Timberlake would react to imminent death, which would be to simply smirk and say, “I’m too cool to die”) , his shiny patina of douche elicits nothing from his audience but boredom.

But Timberlake isn’t the only downfall of this movie. I suppose that the whole time is money thing is supposed to be some sort of profound metaphor for the realness of poverty and the rigidness of our modern conception of time, but honestly, the way that this movie bastardizes an actually interesting idea is completely distracting. Riddled by poor acting, poor writing, and an awful production quality, the film spends so much time trifling with the superficiality of this future society that it totally gives up on producing any sort of coherent or valuable plot.

(Speaking of which, apparently in the future, we’ll be really into remaking vintage Dodge Challengers and then covering them entirely in matte. Who has time for side mirrors, man? Hydraulic touch doors, though? That’s a necessity.)

While I’m guessing this movie wanted to leave me with questions about Robin-Hood-esque nobility and other complications characteristic of cerebral action movies (What does this mean for society? Is this our natural course as capitalist consumers?), I instead spent a lot of time asking questions about how a movie with such a great idea and seemingly large budget could be created without some sort of continuity editor. Surely someone should have pointed out that they keep changing the way they exchange time between people. Or suggested that, since this movie is so annoyingly obsessed with time, maybe time should pass as quickly in the film as it does in real life (so much time ticking towards death is spent kissing in slow motion). Or perhaps pointed out that the script never quite explained how Timberlake and Amanda Seyfried got their hands on that random armored truck. (Seriously. It just randomly appeared. Either that or I fell asleep.) I wish I could say that this film took on too much, that it neglected the continuity and plot details because the over-arching themes were just so important, but I can’t. I feel like the producers just decided that Justin Timberlake’s face was enough of a draw and decided to get drunk. And honestly, that’s probably a better use of your time as well.

Blogulator Radio Episode 31 - Underrated & Underutilized

2011-11-08T08:35:00.000-06:00

Download/stream the latest episode of Blogulator Radio
here via the Fancy Pants Gangsters netcast network!

You know those characters from your favorite TV shows that you love but sometimes feel just don’t get enough play? Chris and Jerksica, your hosts for this week’s edition of Blogulator Radio, have got your back. They go through the gamut of underrated and underutilized supporting players on television today, a topic which came up when Donna finally got her due, recently teaming up with the equally funny but unfairly more popular Tom Haverford, on NBC’s Parks and Recreation. Some of their other choices may be more controversial or more head-scratching, ranging from Betty on Mad Men to the stoner grocery store worker on Raising Hope, but there’s one thing for sure – their opinions are valid. Let us know some of your favorite underrated and underutilized TV characters in the comments or via Facebook/Twitter!

Blogulator Radio is brought to you in part by Netflix, where you can stream your favorite TV shows and movies from your TV, computer, or many other devices as often as you want for just 7.99 a month. Start your free two week trial today and help support independent netcasting.

For up to the minute updates all up in your upness, be sure to subscribe to Blogulator Radio via iTunes or RSS.

Being a modern show for modern people, we’ve got all sorts of ways to find us online. We’ve got your Facebook and your Twitter, and you can follow Qualler and Chris on Twitter as well. Of course we always welcome comments or questions either in the comments below or through email at bradio@fancypantsgangsters.com. We also invite you to check out our non-audio version at TheBlogulator.com for more than just TV talk.

Something Wicked This Way Comes by Ray Bradbury

2011-11-05T08:43:00.005-05:00

I have to confess, I've only read one Ray Bradbury novel in my entire life, and it is, of course, Farenheit 451, which I read in high school with everybody else. Now, I haven't read Farenheit 451 in a long time, so I barely remember the writing or narrative styles, certainly not in any detail, but when I picked up Something Wicked This Way Comes, hoping to find it to be a spooky read perfect for Halloween, I was a little surprised at it.

Now, don't get me wrong--Something Wicked is actually quite spooky. The story centers around two young boys named Will and Jim who are about to turn fourteen and, thus, become real adolescents. They have innocence to lose, and lose it they will, because the carnival is coming, a Dark carnival--literally, a carnival run by a man named Mr. Dark. Away from the melee of the town's new attraction, tucked deep in the library where he serves as the janitor, Will's father, Mr. Halloway laments his old age and feels unconnected to his son, whose youth he envies. Will and Jim quickly discover that the carnival is evil, and that the townspeople are being lured into giving up their souls in exchange for their hearts' supposed desires. Knowing that Will and Jim are hip to their jive, as it were, Mr. Dark is determined to do them harm, especially Jim, who is much more enticed by the carnival's offerings and clearly in danger of being drawn into Mr. Dark's web.

Also somewhat in danger is Mr. Halloway, who has desires only the carnival can fill. The boys, running from Mr. Dark, come to Will's father for help, and this is where the book goes a little off-kilter. For, at the end of the day, there are two things about Something Wicked that struck me as unexpected when I was reading. First was the strange rhythm of the language; it's more poetry than prose in places, and though not in verse it does give you the frenetic sense of wanting to be read aloud. And second, Something Wicked is a straight up allegory and, in its worst moments, a boring morality tale. By the second half of the book, Bradbury really makes no bones about telling you that. There's an entire scene (long scene) in the library where Mr. Halloway lectures Will and Jim on the history of evil, and the rest of the narrative is quickly consumed by Mr. Halloway's struggle to defeat Mr. Dark and his horrific carnival cronies and save the soul of his son (and his son's friend, although sometimes I wonder if he cares so much about Jim).

Everything ends on a happy note; Mr. Dark and his carnival are banished (at least for now, Mr. Halloway makes a point of saying (READ: EVIL NEVER DIES)), and Will and Jim are none the worse for their brush with darkness, except that, due to a magic merry-go-round that makes you age or become younger depending on which way it spins, Jim is now like sixteen or seventeen and Will is fifteen. Because their experiences have made them mature beyond their years or something. It was sort of confusing.

Anyway, I don't mean to dismiss this book; it's actually pretty great, if you can get into the rhythm of the writing (which some people in my book club found to be a struggle) and you can either buy into or ignore the straightforwardness of the good vs. evil allegory. I actually liked that bit, but it can be something of a distraction. The book could also be like 50-75 pages shorter. But it was a fantastic Halloween read; I devoured it in its entirety on a London to New York flight and it kept me turning pages the whole way, and it gave me, if not nightmares, then very strange and ominous dreams, which means it definitely did its job in scaring the pants off me. Mission accomplished, Bradbury, mission accomplished.

(Coda: You know what I could have done without? The humble-brag author's note in the back that explained why Something Wicked This Way Comes is dedicated to actor Gene Kelly. Didnt notice, Bradbury! And don't care.)

Off the Couch and Into the Theater: November 2011

2011-11-03T23:22:00.002-05:00

Last month I began my preview of the month's films with a little reflection: "Wow, I can't believe it's October and I still haven't seen Drive, Moneyball, and/or 50/50." Well, now it's November and I did manage to see those three movies, but not any of the big releases from October that I wanted to see, such as The Ides of March, The Thing, or In Time. From what I've heard though, this isn't that big of a deal. Especially because Drive, Moneyball, and 50/50 are all now in my top ten of 2011 and I can't imagine any of those others would be. Yes, they're all great, though both Drive and 50/50 have their weaknesses, I believe. Now, onto the box office and art house hopefuls of this month, each with "Do I Wanna See It?" percentages in parentheses...

Nov 4th: My students are all psyched for A Very Harold & Kumar Christmas 3D (43%), though I still have yet to see the first two in the series and have only a passing curiosity in the Cheech and Chong for the generation right after us. On the other hand, I unabashedly want to see Tower Heist (92%) and I don't care who knows it. Yes, it's Brett Ratner, the "auteur" of the Rush Hour franchise, but dammit, I have a weird nearly inexplicable love for crass Eddie Murphy and wacky caper flicks - plus Matthew Broderick! It's been a while. The Son of No One (54%) features Al Pacino almost assuredly chewing up scenery as the mentor Denzel detective to Channing Tatum's Ethan Hawke character, near as I can tell. I like the title, and corrupt cop flicks are another weakness of mine, but I still am not sure how Tatum is different from Ryan Phillipe. Elizabeth (of Mary Kate and Ashley) Olsen is practically an Oscar lock for Martha Marcy May Marlene (98%), so I am required to see it. It's about an emotionally devastated woman who tries to go back to her normal life after leaving a cult. Sounds delightful! Okay, this is going to get old because The Double (51%) is yet another example of a soft spot for me: the conspiracy political thriller. Richard Gere and Topher Grace plus the CIA, FBI, and assassinations isn't much, but damned if I like shouting, plot twists, and intrigue. Like Crazy (49%), however, is the kind of movie that I really don't typically enjoy, but is likely still going to be good because it looks like it's done with care and gravitas, not just for kicks like the others. A straight romance featuring unknown leads about deportation? Meh. Lastly, The Mill and the Cross (52%) is an adaptation of a famous painting, because apparently that's a thing you can do. Rutger Hauer though! Cool!

Nov 11th: Tarsem, director of The Cell and The Fall, finally does what he was meant to and makes an unarguably horrible 300-esqe epic film about battles and Greek gods and stuff. Oh well, at least Immortals (39%) will be pretty to look at sometimes maybe kind of. Dustin Lance Black, scribe of Milk, tries his hand at another biopic with J. Edgar (88%), this time with Leonardo DiCaprio in the Oscar-baiting role. I'd usually say yawn, but you know, Academy Awards blah blah. Also, there's the FBI movie crossover link, so I'm in. Jack and Jill (v0m%) has little to nothing that I want to exist in the natural world, much less to get me into the theater to see it. I seriously thought it was a joke movie trailer when I first saw Adam Sandler playing identical twin brother and sister. Let's leave it at that. Werner Herzog manages to get two documentaries in this year and I'm far more psyched to see Into the Abyss (96%) than I was to see Cave of Forgotten Dreams. This one features conversations with a death row inmate and his family for two hours. That's it. And I'm sure the narration is awesome. Revenge of the Electric Car (57%) chronicles the resurgence of the once-thought-to-be-dead gas-less vehicle, which is only vaguely interesting. What's way more interesting/strange is the list of people interviewed for the doc: Danny DeVito, Anthony Kiedis, Stephen Colbert, and many more. So weird.

Nov 18th: Bella gets preggers, or so I've gleaned, in The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Pt. 1 (1%) and I tell you what, now that I know I'm going to be a dad, I have just the slightest fear that if it's a girl I will have to end up watching these movies at some point. Unless they're seen as lame 10-12 years from now by everyone. We'll see. Happy Feet Two (8%) reminds me that the first one won the Animated Feature Oscar and that's probably why there's a sequel. Or was that March of the Penguins? Oh well. Don't care. Penguins dancing is probably cute I guess. Alexander Payne returns with The Descendents (94%) starring George Clooney as a father trying to bond with his daughters after a tragedy befalls the family matriarch. I love half/hate half of both Payne and Clooney's work so this will be a crapshoot, but I'm once again required due to...you guessed it, Oscar buzz! And Being Elmo: A Puppeteer's Journey (89%) is self-explanatory and therefore completely awesome. I just hope it doesn't taint my pure view of Sesame Street.

Nov 23rd-25th: Apparently Martin Scorsese has a movie coming out this year and it's called Hugo (91%), though my memory has no knowledge of such a thing. It looks like a kid's movie about an orphan and a fantastical world and a mythology regarding his parents. Sounds positively unfamiliar! Groan. Scorsese, you're lucky you're Scorsese. The Muppets (99%) has received some harsh words from Fran Oz regarding its loyalty to the franchise and Jim Henson's ghost, but so many of us who have been longing for a new Kermit movie for years will have to not care in order to live in denial a few days longer until we see it and have our hearts crushed. Carl Jung and Sigmund Freud go head to head in the forms of Michael Fassbender and Viggo Mortensen in A Dangerous Method (97%), directed by creepster extraordinaire David Cronenberg. I'm psyched and excited in my pants, and that's an intended pun and an intended Freudian slip. If that last thing is a thing. Arthur Christmas (2%) is some computer animated movie that is indeed about Christmas, though unfortunately it does not seem to be anything about an aardvark or a drunken Dudley Moore. The new Lars Von Trier film, Melancholia (100%), is about what if another planet starts on a collision course with Earth. And yet that's not what it's about at all. Kirsten Dunst stars as a young woman who goes through drama somehow while this is happening. Young Goethe in Love (10%) is a historical romance drama in which a fancy white guy with a remarkable talent loves a girl but then some stuff happens. Lastly, The Other F Word (22%) is a documentary in which Art Alexakis of Everclear is one of several "punk rockers" that discuss their experiences as fathers. Hell if Art can get in that, I should be able to book a spot in the sequel. Rimshot!

Thanks as always to the fine folks at Uptown Theatre for the indie flick release dates for the Minneapolis area!

(Yesterday's) Top 40 Spectrum: Billboard #1s Through The Years

2011-11-02T06:00:00.000-05:00

As you probably already know, Spotify is totally the Best Thing To Ever Be Invented, At Least Currently, On The Internet. Yeah, it's pretty great. It has allowed a lame-wad who feels as out of touch with current music trends as I ever have to at least feign to know what is new and cool in music these days. (Bon Iver is totally overrated, guys.)

So, when I came across this Spotify playlist that features every song that ever hit #1 on the Billboard Top 40, ever, I was, naturally, very intrigued. And over the course of the past week, I've listened to this playlist. Memories have come flooding back to me; the musical cues that defined my life are embedded in this playlist.

I've learned a lot listening to this playlist:

1) There are a lot of really dumb songs that hit number one;
2) Some artists are ridiculously famous because their number one songs are a lot better than the dumb ones that hit number one.

As is wont to do on a Pop Culture blog, I have cultivated my thoughts in a free-form list of the best and worsts of the songs that reached #1 on the Billboard charts. These thoughts are based on my pop music consciousness which, according to my estimation, started with Los Lobos's "La Bamba", the first song I remember being popular at the time it was popular, which hit #1 on August 29, 1987. My thoughts on that song: I loved that movie, and then cried a lot at the end when Richie Valens died. Totes heartbreaking.

Without further ado:

Best #1 Song:Lauryn Hill - "Doo Wop (That Thing)"; two weeks at #1, November 14-21, 1998
I have indeed identified the greatest song to ever hit #1 on the Billboard Top 40. "Doo Wop (That Thing)" reaches that pinnacle. It's not just that the song is more socially conscious than most popular songs that have followed it, #1 or otherwise; it's just an unbelievably hooky, infectious song you can dance to and sing along to. Current female chart-toppers don't have that combination of dense lyrical and musical content and straight-up catchiness, and they definitely don't have Ms. Hill's powerful artistic voice(*). Kanye was right when he said he wished you were still making music, Lauryn.

(*)Which is one reason why, despite generally enjoying Nicki Minaj's overall vocal stylings, I find the perception she is a female trailblazer irritating. Please - she's still beholden to the male artists that discovered her and mostly cultivated her musical artist identity, whereas Hill is a complete artist with a true, strong voice. And she hit #1 over ten years ago.

Worst #1 Song:Jennifer Lopez feat. Ja Rule, "I'm Real"; three weeks at #1, September 8-22, 2011
With all due (dis)respect to other nominees, like the multiple #1s by Debbie Gibson, Tiffany, and New Kids on the Block, "With Arms Wide Open" by Creed, and "(Can't Live Without Your) Love and Affection" by Nelson (which at least scores points by being kind of hilariously bad), J.Lo's collaboration with Ja Rule is the most offensively bad #1 for a variety of reasons. One is its extreme social non-consciousness, with J.Lo droppin' the n-word in her lyrics in a way that is, at best, extremely uncomfortable. But then, J.Lo is, as I determined, America's Most Bland Celebrity, with her milquetoast delivery of every line. When she talks about when she's "feeling sexy", nothing feels more like I'm being pandered to than this line. And of course, Ja Rule, the man who 50 Cent mocked for sounding like Cookie Monster, delivers the chorus. When 50 Cent disses you, you really do suck. Seriously, though, J.Lo has done nothing to take away from her throne of America's Most Bland Celebrity, as evidenced by the latest magazine cover talking about her romance with America's Most Bland Actor, Bradley Cooper.

Most Bizarre #1:Rick Astley, "Never Gonna Give You Up" and "Together Forever"; Hey, America! Did you know that these two songs are EXACTLY THE SAME?!?!?!?!?? EXACTLY! THE! SAME! When the now-famous-due-to-meme "Never Gonna Give You Up" popped up on my playlist, I chuckled. When "Together Forever" popped up, though, I became horrified. I pointed out the different songs to Brigitte, which, naturally, caused us to start a "Row, Row, Row Your Boat" style dueling chorus improptu sing-along of me singing the "Give You Up" chorus and Brigitte singing the "Together Forever" chorus. Then, I had a grand plan of mashing the songs together to demonstrate to you, the reader, the similarities, but thankfully, someone on YouTube already saved me the work. So, here you go:

Most Deserving Artists To Reach #1 Multiple Times:
It sounds obvious, but it's totally true: the reason Michael Jackson hit #1 thirteen times, Whitney Houston hit #1 eleven times, Janet Jackson hit #1 ten times, and Mariah Carey hit #1 eighteen(!!!) times, is because they are all ridiculously talented people. Going through the playlist, these artists always provided a welcome oasis of greatness in a sea of other random songs that hit #1. I most enjoyed Janet Jackson, a hit-maker who was definitely more versatile than merely using her name recognition -- lady's super talented. And I hear that Michael fellow is kinda famous. Oh Whitney, if only Bobby Brown didn't totally destroy your career, cuz you have/had one helluva powerful voice. And after re-listening to a lot of Mariah's hits, I'm not quite as embarrassed to admit my owning multiple Mariah Carey CDs as a pre-teen.

Least Deserving Artist To Reach #1 Multiple Times:
On the other hand, George Michael's eight #1 hits feel like a product of their times, with the #1 songs he put out at best bland ("Faith") and at worst horribly schmaltzy. Sorry, George Michael - you're boring.

Hottest #1, At Least Compared To Its Chart-Mates:C+C Music Factory, "Gonna Make You Sweat"; two weeks at #1 starting February 9-16, 1991
In the context of being #1 the same year as Paula Abdul's "Rush Rush" (five weeks at number one!) and Bryan Adam's "Everything I Do (I Do It For You)" (seven weeks at number one!), C+C Music Factory's biggest hit is like a shot of adrenalin that smacks you upside the head and makes you wanna dance right now in the office.

Most Surprisingly Forward-Thinking #1 Song from the Early 90s:P.M. Dawn, "Set Adrift on Memory Bliss"; one week at #1, November 30, 1991
In the context of those super-lame other #1s (others include "I Adore Mi Amor" by Color Me Badd and "More Than Words" by Extreme), PM Dawn's almost-forgotten #1 samples "True" by Spandau Ballet. In my unscientific study, this is the best of the late-80s-early-90s #1 songs that sample previous songs. Well, it's definitely better than "Ice Ice Baby", right?

Most Creepy-In-Retrospect Love Ballad:Boyz II Men, "End of the Road"; thirteen weeks at #1 starting August 15, 1992
The lyrics of this song are CREEPY AS EFF! Are these the words of bass singer Michael McCarey's spoken word mid-song jam? Or the scrawl of a creepy stalking ex-boyfriend who might also be a serial murderer? You decide (bold and italics added by me):

Girl, I’m here for you
All those times of night when you just hurt me
And just run out with that other fella?
Baby I knew about it, I just didn’t care
You just don’t understand how much I love you do you?
I’m here for you.

I’m not out to go out and cheat on you all night
Just like you did, baby, but that’s all right
Hey, I love you anyway
And I’m still gonna be here for you ’till my dying day baby
Right now, I’m just in so much pain baby
Coz you just won’t come back to me
Will you? just come back to me

Most Hilarious Song To Succeed A Wildly Succesful #1: "How Do You Talk to an Angel" by The Heights; two weeks at #1 starting November 14, 1992
Yes, it succeeded "End of the Road". Yes, it was the theme song to the short-lived Fox drama The Heights. And yes, that is actor Jamie Walters singing, who went on to play Donna Martin's boyfriend and hotheaded fictional recording artist Ray Pruitt in seasons five and six of Beverly Hills 90210. How do you talk to an angel, Ray Pruitt? How do you?

Least Deserving Artist Collaboration:"All for One" by Bryan Adams, Rod Stewart & Sting; three weeks at #1 starting January 22, 1994
If I were Sting, and I were looking back at my career today, I would be looking back at that collaboration I did with Bryan Adams and Rod Stewart and be thinking, "Wow, how was there a time that Bryan Adams and Rod Stewart were considered my equals? I'm freakin' Sting! I was in The Police! My body of work is timeless, while Rod Stewart is a glorified lounge singer and Bryan Adams didn't become popular until he totally sold his soul with 'Everything I Do (I Do It For You)'! How did I sign up for this? What kind of self-respect did I have? Did I not meditate enough in 1994?" Regrets, Sting. This is one of them, isn't it?

Most Adorably Out-Of-Place Random #1:Lisa Loeb & Nine Stories, "Stay (I Miss You)"; three weeks at #1 starting August 6, 1994
Jumping to #1 after All-4-One's "I Swear" and before Boyz II Men's "I'll Make Love to You", Lisa Loeb's Reality Bites soundtracker is the only evidence on the Billboard #1s playlist that this thing called Grunge Music was popular. Yes, many grunge and post-grunge bands hit #1 with their albums, but none of them hit #1 on the Hot 100. But adorably dorky Loeb made it to #1, who indeed made it safe for boys to make passes at girls who wear glasses. And, did you know, this was the first #1 song by an artist who was not signed to a record label at the time? Yeah, take that in your pipe and smoke it, Owl City. Lisa Loeb says, "YOU'RE WELCOME!"

Most Hilarious Collaboration:R.Kelly & Celine Dion, "I'm Your Angel"; seven weeks at #1 starting December 5, 1998
R.Kelly collaborated with Celine Dion just because he could, right? Honestly, I didn't know this song even existed, and now I am more happy than ever to know that it does.

First Meta #1 Song, In My Unscientific Estimation:Kanye West feat. Twista & Jamie Foxx, "Slow Jamz"; one week at #1, February 21, 2004
2004 was mostly dominated by Usher, but it was Kanye who made it safe for artists of today to write #1 songs that are about other songs. Today, it is commonplace for chart-toppers to include a layer of meta-songwriting in their tunes, but Kanye made the modern "song about a song" what it was. In my estimation, this is also the first #1 song to also get the Pitchfork stamp of approval, making it safe for hipsters and popsters to like the same stuff once in a while. Thanks for making it safe for hipsters to like pop music, 'Ye!

Blogulator Radio Episode 30: Halloween

2011-10-31T21:46:00.000-05:00

Download

Happy Halloween, Blogulator Radio listeners! In this week’s extra spooky episode, Qualler and Brigitte discuss the merits and demerits of FX’s newest zeitgeist-capturing horror-drama on FX, the Ryan Murphy-helmed American Horror Story. Listen as Qualler and Brigitte attempt to make sense of why Dylan McDermott cries & pleasures himself so frequently, how it makes any sense at all that his family would stay in an obviously haunted house, the wildly differing tonal shifts that occur within minutes of each other, and much more. After dissecting the first four episodes of the series, Qualler and Brigitte discuss the Halloween-themed episodes of Dawson’s Creek and Cheers that they watched this past week. Also…BOO!

Blogulator Radio is brought to you in part by Netflix, where you can stream your favorite TV shows and movies from your TV, computer, or many other devices as often as you want for just 7.99 a month. Start your free two week trial today and help support independent netcasting.
For up to the minute updates all up in your upness, be sure to subscribe to Blogulator Radio via iTunes or RSS.

Being a modern show for modern people, we’ve got all sorts of ways to find us online. We’ve got your Facebook and your Twitter, and you can follow Qualler and Chris on Twitter as well. Of course we always welcome comments or questions either in the comments below or through email at bradio@fancypantsgangsters.com.

Halloween Comics from The Boo Yorker

2011-10-27T16:02:00.000-05:00

Special Guest Post: The Jigsaw Killer Live-Blogs Paranormal Activity 2

2011-10-26T00:47:00.028-05:00

It's me, sinners. If you don't know who I am, please go make one of those rosaries that replaces each of the beads with a picture of Time's 10 most influential people of the century and then lash yourself with it, so that you can learn my face as it continues to fly towards the blistering, tear-filled gouges that have replaced your once naive smile.

By the way, I'm in a pretty good mood this year.

You might be surprised to hear that seeing as how this marks the first time in 7 years that one of my journals hasn't been transcribed into a theatrical release; however, it's not my fault that the film industry completely shut down. That is what happened, isn't it? Tragic news in an already harsh economy that I've punished further by surrounding in bear traps, but not completely unexpected. When a pinnacle like Saw 3D is reached, there is little choice left besides the complete abandonment of art as a cultural element. Art flew too close to the sun, and it survived and thrived in releasing my movie, but then it fell upwards into the nothingness created by the remaining inability to progress. Surely something must remain of art, you ask...

You're right, but I surrounded it in bear traps.

A man who fails to test himself is doomed to cancer. A man with cancer who fails to test himself is everyone other than me, because I am the only one with the will not only to survive, but to survive with clarity. As such, I've acquired a copy of Paranormal Activity 2 on VHS from my local video parlor, because I embrace retro media for the only reason anyone ever should: It reminds me of my blinded past. Now that my eyes are open, I can see the untainted horror of Frankie Jonas wearing a Ghostbusters t-shirt. I will forgive him still, provided his stubby little arms can reach the key through the double-shattered glass window at Urban Outfitters.

Speaking of bear traps, I've created a new drink to accompany my annual trial. And I call my new drink... The Bear Trap. One portion whiskey, one portion rum, two portions blood, and three cancer pills. I get to take a shot every time I mention cancer, because I need the medication anyway. Seeing as how cancer is such a part of me that I neither recognize my own utterance of its lexical fabrication or react to the pills more than I would a breath of air, I will never get drunk. The logic works, and doubters can search for the keys to their bear traps in the Rubix cube I've somehow put together at the bottom of this pitcher of Bear Trap.

That's right. I've got Bear Trap on tap. It's one of the few luxuries left in a world without art. Let us look back on the world that was in 2010 when Paranormal Activity 2 could still exist thanks to the "cineplex," now posthumously defined as "an institution funded wholly by Jigsaw's success."

My prediction: The movie will feature a whiny couple that doesn't realize they're lucky enough to have someone long enough to feel the shot of authentic pain when one or the other is diagnosed with a life-threatening disease.

My premise: If I were to direct this sequel, I would embrace the body-pulling ghost of the original in a manner that the characters are pulled through hallways lined with images of all their failings - images which bear my signature in the corner to symbolize that I am the only "ghost" to be "feared," and "I" actually represent "their" conscience. It would have worked, and it would have ended media even more abruptly than Saw 3D, if possible... which it wouldn't be.

0:00 This takes place in CarlsBAD, California. GOOD try with the subtext, but I'm taking a shot of Bear Trap anyway.

0:00 There's a baby in this one. Some call me a monster, but let it be known that I never put a baby through one of my trials. I let my cat handle that.

0:02 The teen daughter character has already mentioned "peeing" and "pooping." I'll let my cat handle that one, too.

0:03 I called my local video parlor to confirm that I did not in fact rent Disney's Babies 2: Suburban Shitheads. They charged me a late fee for calling. Oh yes. There will be blood. DRINK

0:05 The house is ripped apart. Was it a ghost? Was it my ghost? Am I even dead? I honestly don''t know. I stopped watching after Saw 4... Wait, no, that's not true... Huh this batch of Bear Trap is stronger than I thought...

0:07 The already camera-obsessed family is now installing a security camera system, yet none of the cameras are devoted to a puppet on a tricycle? Pride truly is the greatest sin.

0:10 The ethnic maid is being weird. I'd call racism, except that I really do believe most service workers have extrasensory perception. How else would the gas station know I was looking for last February's Rodent Rage magazine?

0:14 I actually prefer the crying baby and whimpering dog to the incessant prattling of these so-called adults.

0:19 The mobile over the cradle spins for a second. I casually compare this chilling moment to the time one of my subjects fell into a pit of used syringes.

0:21 It's revealed that the dog and baby sleep with the door closed to the rest of the family, presumably to block out Dada and Mama's white whine. Ironically, I'd actually place the key to the parents' bear traps at the bottom of a bottle of rosé.

0:25 The patriarch puts down the maid for her smoky spiritualism. The maid exits to smattering applause and eternal damnation for not having cancer so far as I know DRINK

0:29 I just caught myself saying "What a baby!" out loud to the onscreen toddler. It was a compliment.

0:34 The matriarch can't hang her pots properly because they keep falling down. I'd love to see her try to set up a complex mechanism in need of the pinpoint precision capable of granting that precious, solitary moment of lucidity just as the jaws of the device snap shut over the jugular. I'm talking about a mouse trap.

0:35 Psychhh I was talking about a bear trap DRINK

0:41 The daughter asks if the ghost is "mom." I guess that offers some backstory, but the real question is: What if the ghost is cancer? Whoa. What if the ghost was cancer? What if it were?! I seriously don't know the answers, and I'm being serious right now cuz I like you, k? I like youu

0:53 Aww man the baby's getting ghost-dragged that means my whole premise of being dragged through the metaphorical hallway is gonna have to be redone in crayon.

0:59 More mythology exposition. I've drifted over to my computer to re-read the entry on Chicago Cubs goat Steve Bartman... I'm telllin' ya... That was one of my greatest successes, and Steve came through it alive to become the depressed, changed man I wanted him to be. PLUS, I proved the ability to interweave my trials with live sporting events DRINK

1:03 Are you kidding me that I just found the actor Micah from these movies wearing the exact same shirt as the bonus Jonas I am running out of bear traps here!!!

1:08 Aww shit the cupboards burst open... Uhhh.. BEAR TRAP! (Gulp!) Yeah I'm typing my own drinking gulps cuz I'm still totally coherent when I drink and don't get drunk anyway cuz of all that cancer stuff I said before... OH i said cancer DRINK ha... ha...

1:14 Finally some adult human ghost-dragging... And it's right past some pictures just like in my premise haha...Pictures of bear traps would be funny, right haha... I think these drinks are too many or something...

1:24 Yeah we're finally going in the basement is it furnished? Who even cares anymore the lights are out I want to see bumper pooooool

1:28 Aah what they're starting the first movie over again what?!

1:32 Oh good that only took a couple minutes just like both of these movies could've been if we cut out all the blabber right? Only I should speak because I really do know what's best for all of you, ya know? I'm making you mutilate yourselves to help you, get it?! Hha

1:34 Okay I threw up and that was actually kind of good and why are there so many keys in my vomit what's happening who finished the rest of my Bear Tarp!!!!??? Imma ride my trike and go to bed I like you guys but you really need to stop, k

Blogulator Radio Episode 29 - Vince Gilligan is a Genius

2011-10-25T05:03:00.003-05:00

Stream our newest episode of Blogulator Radio here.

It really shouldn’t be a surprise that a netcast about television is extolling the virtues of the most critically lauded show in recent memory, AMC’s Breaking Bad, but just because Qualler, Brigitte, and Chris aren’t exactly original in their tastes as TV nerds doesn’t mean that their praise of Vince Gilligan’s creation is any less deserving. The fourth season following cancer-stricken chemist Walter White and co. came to a close not too long ago and now that the hosts of Blogulator Radio have caught up and/or fully absorbed it all, this week’s episode is all about deconstructing the monolithic can-do-no-wrong serial story. As should be obvious, then, if you are not on track with the show, which will hopefully sooner rather than later head into its final 16-episode stretch, then consider yourself SPOILER ALERTED. Much talk is had here about the resident drug dealers, DEA agents, and innocent standers by of Albuquerque, New Mexico, so if you’re not in the know, get to it! Best show on television! First three seasons available for streaming via our sponsor (see below)!

Blogulator Radio is brought to you in part by Netflix, where you can stream your favorite TV shows and movies from your TV, computer, or many other devices as often as you want for just 7.99 a month. Start your free two week trial today and help support independent netcasting.

For up to the minute updates all up in your upness, be sure to subscribe to Blogulator Radio via iTunes or RSS.

Being a modern show for modern people, we’ve got all sorts of ways to find us online. We’ve got your Facebook and your Twitter, and you can follow Qualler and Chris on Twitteras well. Of course we always welcome comments or questions either in the comments below or through email at bradio@fancypantsgangsters.com.

Classic Television Rundown: Nip/Tuck, Season One, Episode 10, "Adelle Coffin"

2011-10-21T17:58:00.000-05:00

Nip/Tuck, Season One, Episode Ten: "Adelle Coffin"
Written by Ryan Murphy & Dell Chandler
Directed by Michael M. Robin

"You not only don't admit the error, you'd rather argue about it than correct it." -Sean, to Christian

As I've been re-watching the plastic surgery melodrama known as Nip/Tuck I've not only questioned my own enjoyment and gratification from it the first go around (admittedly, in a pre-Breaking Bad world) but I've also consistently wondered what made it such a breakout basic cable hit on FX. How "Adelle Coffin" starts out makes a pretty good case why, even if someone such as myself can see all of their downsides in a reflective nearly-ten-years-later landscape, Ryan Murphy's first foray into television was a successful microcosm of what was to come with a little shan't-be-mentioned teen musical dramedy on FOX a number of years later. From the outset, this episode manages to, like any proper and effective high school essay, grab your attention, offer a thesis, a preview of what's to come, and just enough balance of what the viewer/reader may already be familiar with and something new and exciting to delve into for 3-4 pages/40-44 minutes.

In this case, the "something new" is also the "something familiar", while the shocking attention-getter is a grisly medical procedure that has absolutely nothing to do with what your average plastic surgeon does. With a very quick "oh this patient is afraid of hospitals, so he came to our private practice" explanation, suddenly we're watching Christian Troy and Sean McNamara sew fingers back onto a plumber that put his hands down an active garbage disposal. It's a gruesome scene from the ER playbook in that they, per usual fashion, play cutesy rock music in the background so it's not overly serious like on network television, which is wacky! But wait: this isn't substance-less, they lead us to believe. For those that have been watching all season long, we get to see a new layer of Dr. Christian Troy's personality and background: the sad, untalented surgeon who cannot seem to do anything right, even something as simple as sewing the right fingertips back on the right digits. For those that are new to the wacky-doctor-soapy-funtime hour, well we are re-introduced to the dynamic between the two protagonists and their eternally playful-yet-dark BFF dynamic.

For what that's worth, Murphy's quite deft at combining the serial and procedural style, but employing an emotional and character-based method, rather than strictly the patient-of-the-week or problem-of-the-week formula. We don't need to know much about Christian, though it does enhance it, especially looking back on his arc with Kimber, to sympathize with his struggling to pass his re-certification medical exams in the wake of his revelations regarding his level of talent vs. hubris. Yes, it's a rather bland plot, even for a single episode, but as I've harped on ever since the pilot, Julian McMahon is brilliant even with the most hackneyed material, expressing more than adequately his complicated relationship with himself and those around him, ranging from supreme insecurity to overpowering cockiness. And with such a simple yet profoundly difficult (not just physically for him, as we learn that it's Sean who does all the complicated and delicate surgeries at their practice, but mentally too) task set in front of him, it's honestly quite mesmerizing to see him wade through it, despite Murphy's insistence at making it as quirky as possible, from him practicing on a Jane Doe in a morgue after bribing the guard to yet another encounter with the blackmailing Ms. Grubman.

Unfortunately, Christian Troy, like he does far too often in this show, got the B-plot in "Adelle Coffin." The titular patient is actually the cadaver of the head that Sean is given for his re-certification exam, and so we're forced to spend the majority of the episode with him and his problems. Not only are his problems very mixed up with his kind-of-mistress, the cancer-stricken Megan that's been around for far too long by now, which if you have not been able to tell is a storyline I have not been enamored with in the slightest, but it's also something that's so integral to us knowing/caring about what has been going on with Sean in recent episodes that I can't imagine it was very appealing to those dropping in off and on with the show. Luckily it steals from Six Feet Under and lets the disembodied Ms. Coffin speak as Sean's conscience and shame him for both his affair with Megan O'Hara as well as his implicit involvement with her suicide. Of course this happens because as he looks at his cadaver's chart (once again, conveniently made possible in a world where cadavers' histories are meant to be kept private because the test proctor preludes with "we've found it to be easier for doctors to know their patients before they perform surgery on them, even when they're dead," or something to that lame effect) and sees that Coffin's (speaking of heavy-handed convenience) cause of death was suicide.

The real reason to discuss this here, though, has naught to do with what they've been doing wrong with Sean's character since day one (that is, give the audience no reason to feel empathy for him and let Dylan Walsh overact his nervous/doe-eyed shtick) and everything to do with the fact that Megan has always felt like a transitory piece in Sean's character development. Walsh actually does a decent job in this episode, especially for having to talk with a ridiculously manic corpse about guilt blah blah, because he doesn't try anything too big or too self-serving. He suddenly leaves his exams and mutters "I don't care about anything" instead of screaming it, for instance. He lets anger and sadness well in his eyes as he admits his cheating to Julia after they come back from Megan's wake (which Julia wants to go to for some reason, of course, which could have been an interesting plot point if Murphy actually explored it rather than just give another convenient line that explains the weirdness away). No, what's most annoying this time around is that Megan, like Jude before her, only serves the purpose of driving Sean and Julia apart. It would have been monumentally more interesting to see Sean and Julia's failing marriage break apart for any other reason than infidelity, even if the first half was never consummated and the second half had a cancerous twist.

If I remember correctly, however, (per the last memorable quote mentioned below) this is finally what lets Sean and Julia's relationship (disintegrating or otherwise) start to become compelling. Because even though it took some boring and forced methods to get here, we realize that their family has been struggling to stay together for a long long time before we even met these characters. I did enjoy that, even though it was easy, it was effective to just end the episode with a slow zoom out as Sean cried at Julia's knees repeating "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry" over and over again as she sat there pushing her emotion away but still allowing him to grovel there before her. It's a staid and not necessarily soap-level illustration of their dependence, but it will allow us to get somewhere more natural and therefore more satisfying, even as other ephemera of the show get less and less realistic. And who knows, maybe that's part of its success as well: just as it knows how to gratify one half of its audience, it's quick to reboot itself in the next episode to gratify the other half. It's frustrating for both parties, but it still fosters a similar sick kind of dependency. So here I am, Murphy, groveling; won't you start reminding me why I loved your show for two-and-a-half seasons?

Grade: C

Nip/Tuck is available to watch on Netflix Watch Instantly.

Other Memorable Quotes:

"I'll assist with 'Beef Curtains' and you can wheel in 'Colonel Sanders.'" -Christian Troy, nicknaming Ms. Grubman and her fiance
"Do you believe in it?" -Sean, asking Christian about suicide in the weirdest possible way
"But the irony of it - instead of helping to mask your pain, your affair with O'Hara only made it worse!" -Adelle Coffin's head, aka his conscience, to Sean
"Even your infidelity is passive aggressive!" -Julia, to Sean
"We lost each other a long time ago, Sean." -Julia (a lame line delivered by a terrific actress)

Fall TV Roundup: A Mid-Fall Season Perspective

2011-10-20T06:00:00.000-05:00

It's October 20th, and, amazingly, networks are STILL rolling out new shows, what with last week's premiere of Last Man Standing and this week's similar-in-theme Man Up!, both of which are all hilarious laffers that are all about the times that men have been, y'know, totally beaten down by all the women, and minorities. As a white hetrosexual male, I can attest that it is very, very hard to be a white heterosexual male. Totally.

And, as it stands right now, a few shows have already bit the dust. Poor Minka Kelly, because her Charlie's Angels already lost its wings (see what I did there?!; The Playboy Club and its weirdly actually-all-a-Playboy-infomercial-on-account-of-the-Hugh-Hefner-voiceover style, bit the dust. Yet, Whitney is still going strong (and, through four weeks of new episodes, is still earning higher ratings than Community and Parks & Recreation. America, you should be ashamed of yourselves), so you never know.

So, with all due respect to shows that I haven't checked into yet, or with all due lack of respect to shows that are outrageously terrible with no hope of redemption (I'm lookin' at you, Whitney, even though I still hold out hope that Chris D'Elia will some day be on a show that has good writing), and now including thoughts on new cable shows, here is the Mid-Fall Season Roundup of Fall TV.

2 Broke Girls: I really want this show to work. I don't really know why I want it to work so badly, because I have no prior feelings, good or bad, toward Kat Dennings. But, I think Ms. Dennings and her co-Broke Girl Beth Behrs have weirdly good chemistry. I love that they have a horse in their apartment, because, come on, who doesn't love a horse? My favorite episode thus far was "And the Rich People Problems", in which they broke into Behrs' old house to check out her closet and had a dance party set to Black Kids.

That said, there are lots of things that stand in the way of this show working. The characters Han and Oleg are ridiculous, unfunny stereotypes (though I admit to kinda laughing at how ridiculously skeezy the Oleg character is); the dialogue is full of unnecessarily "edgy" stuff that doesn't make what they say any funnier; and, as is expected to happen on a show on CBS, the sweetened laughs are just too sweet. Just trust me to think that your show is not uproariously hilarious but is a fun thing to smile to in the background, CBS! If they're trying to woo the late-20s-early-30s post-hipster young adult crowd, then trust your audience just a touch more.

Progress Report Grade: C+

Revenge: When I watched the trailers for all of the new shows that came out back in May, I pegged this as one of my least anticipated new shows. It seemed to take itself painfully serious, especially with the beat-you-over-the-head "This is not a story of forgiveness" tagline (of COURSE it isn't! It's called Revenge, for Chrissake!) Thankfully, as I am learning, commercials for stuff lie. Drive is not a Fast & the Furious for arthouse nerds like it is advertised as, and Revenge is not at all boring.

In fact, I am most pleased with this show. In a weird way, thus far it seems to be the best successor to 24 that I have seen. Emily Van Camp, as Emily Thorne, is definitely the Jack Bauer of getting revenge on people who wronged her. She's just, like, totally unstoppable, and totally awesome in the way she schemes out plans to bring people down who totally deserve to go down. More imporantly, Madeline Stowe brings a great performance as Emily's adversary. Better yet, the show is starting to hint at some wrinkles in the characters' pasts that make them much less black-and-white, good-and-evil, what with Stowe's past relationship with Thorne's dad. And after they teased it in the pilot, I'm more intrigued to find out more about Emily's past as Amanda. Twists and turns galore!

Progress Report Grade: B+

Ringer: This one started as the most hilariously bad show I've seen, the best television successor to The Room that I had ever seen, especially in the bizarrely illogical second episode. Since then, I've, for some reason, stuck with the show, and it has delivered a few scenes of modest genuine tension and a lot of boring stuff. Sarah Michelle Geller seems to be giving all she can, even though she is inexplicably asked to pretty much just stand around a lot and say things nervously as Bridget, the less scheming, more boring twin sister. She clearly has a lot more fun playing Siobhan, but sadly, Siobhan is mostly relegated to one scene per episode.

I think this show is still too fundamentally broken to ever work, but it has at least evolved from You Gotta Watch This Cuz Of How Horrible It Is to M'eh level. And Ioan Grufudd is very good in it, so there's that. And he wears cufflinks like a pro, so good for him.

Progress Report Grade: C

American Horror Story: Speaking of so-bad-its-good...FX's by-way-of Ryan Murphy and Brad Falchuck of Glee and Nip/Tuck bring the new zeitgeist-sparking AHS. Now, I'm not gonna go out of my way by saying this is a good show. Through the full pilot and parts of the second episode I have seen, I can safely say that this is a show with a whole lot of things in the way of it being a good show. Dylan McDermott seems to be existing on a totally different planet from Connie Britton, who is quite good as usual despite being given lines that would make Tami Taylor blush. (Ah, a visual of Tami Taylor blushing...how I love her. Swoon.) It is clearly a much closer relation to FX's other Murphy-helmed drama Nip/Tuck, which, as Chris as documented here on our Classic Television Rundown, certainly had its moments but was mostly a trainwreck.

And yet...I feel strangely, oddly captivated and obsessed with it thus far. One of critics main criticisms of the show is the way it does things like play musical cues and re-enact scenes from Psycho just for the sake of doing so. And yet...what if one looked at these scenes through the lens of Mash-Up Culture? Rather than simply paying homage to horror movie classics, what if Murphy and Falchuck are attempting to re-contextualize famous horror movie moments in a way that, because they are presented in a new, interesting light, are now new? No? OK, well it was worth a shot. Jessica Lange is definitely magnetic, even if her possibly ghostly character doesn't seem to make any sense at all, while Frances Conroy plays the one-half of the weird maid character very well. And don't get me started on how much I genuinely love Denis O'Hare chewing scenery like he does as the other possibly ghostly dude with the half-burned face and "Terminal Brain Cancer." Did I mention that there are lots of things going on that don't really make any sense? And a lot of stuff that is just plain cringeworthy and unpleasant? Like, for example, Dylan McDermott masturbating to a ghost and then crying hysterically?

There's a genuinely awesome show in here somewhere. But, Murphy and Falchuck have to somehow overcome their lengthy history of abandoning the interesting ideas and adding shock tactics to the point the show falls totally limp the way Nip/Tuck did near the end of its run (yes, I stuck around for the entire run of Nip/Tuck, because I'm a glutton for punishment and Dr. Christian Troy.) Maybe it's just because horror is one of my favorite genres, but I feel like, despite this being a bad show, it is going to be high on my list of shows I want to keep up on.

One suggestion: change the name of the show to Spooky Spook Spook as Brigitte suggested. It just sounds better.

Progress Report Grade: B-

Played Out - Tommy Wi-Show

2011-10-19T06:00:00.004-05:00

I have another confession to make: One reason I haven't been so prevalent around here of late is because I'm torn over the role of pop culture in my life. Now don't get me wrong: The Blogulator still provides a valuable -- nay, essential -- service within a social spectrum in which media has become so reflexive that even the most amazing bloggers are stuck using Foo Fighters lyrics to introduce their feelings. I'm no neo-Luddite. I'm simply concerned that life is passing me by while I watch old Star Trek episodes.

That said, I've really enjoyed what I've seen so far of a web-series in which The Room guru Tommy Wiseau plays video games.

On the surface it seems like the exact brand of self-consumptive garbage I wouldn't want to introduce to my palette right now. A guy who's famous for making an atrocious movie playing popular video games? It sounds like too much. However, I'm here to attest that it kind of works, in fact, because it's not really much at all.

The concept is basically Mystery Science Theater, with short vignettes that bookend the episodes explaining that an alien has capture "T W" for the purpose of making him play these games. So far, this frame story is refreshingly cheesy, thanks to the star's iconic "acting" style and a distinct absence of memes. Audiences don't need a history lesson in cheese to enjoy the ham, making it that special kind of humor that only goes stale when the fridge is broken.

High marks go to the creative team behind this show, who I feel have a good grasp on minimalist production. The series is by no means under-produced; it's very easy to see and hear and follow the action, even in a small youtube window. What I mean is it avoids the pitfalls of trying too hard to be something that it isn't, aka a "real show." Real shows struggle with formulas and time-fillers, whereas The Tommy Wi-Show can simply be what it is - 6 minutes of watching an idiot act stupid and play games.

Regarding the idiot, it's another testament to the producers that they can extract entertainment from a man whose fame is almost definitely beyond his ability. The Room is amazing for what it is, sure, but Tommy Wiseau is so incapable and, as evidenced in these videos, so unaware of basic sentence structure, that the editors really have to monitor how much they reveal of their mentally-deficient star. I can't help but laugh when Wiseau runs his game character into the same wall over and over again because I think the man is sane enough and, you know, modern controllers do have a lot of buttons; but I'm not gonna keep smiling if I ever start to worry that the freak is in a cage.

For what it is right now, though, I can't help but recommend the simple, stupid, and sufficiently self-contained Tommy Wi-Show.

And now I'm off to live free of these media boundaries! To the city! For the Yellowcard concert!

Blogulator Radio Episode 28: The ABCs of Fall TV

2011-10-17T21:57:00.003-05:00

Twenty-six letters in the alphabet. Twenty-six shows currently on the air that Chris and Jerksica have at least sampled (if not become addicted to) in the recent onslaught of new fall programming. Each show or actor/character/host/judge/tevs, from A to Z, gets exactly a minute worth of discussion, then the alarm rings and Chris and Jerksica have to move on to the next letter in the alphabet. This is this week’s gimmicky (or as we like to call it, “high concept”) edition of Blogulator Radio (click here to listen via the Fancy Pants Gangsters Netcast Network!). Everything from this brilliant (as predicted) season of Community to the already deceased The Playboy Club are fair game for discussion (you can find the full A-Z list here via The Blogulator if you wanna follow along). You know why? Yeah, you do. Because our opinions are valid!

Blogulator Radio is brought to you in part by Netflix, where you can stream your favorite TV shows and movies from your TV, computer, or many other devices as often as you want for just 7.99 a month. Start your free two week trial today and help support independent netcasting.

For up to the minute updates all up in your upness, be sure to subscribe to Blogulator Radio via iTunes or RSS.

Being a modern show for modern people, we’ve got all sorts of ways to find us online. We’ve got your Facebook and your Twitter, and you can follow Qualler and Chris on Twitteras well. Of course we always welcome comments or questions either in the comments below or through email at bradio@fancypantsgangsters.com.. We also invite you to check out our non-audio version at TheBlogulator.com for more than just TV talk.

Blogulator Radio Preview: The ABCs of TV (Fall 2011)

2011-10-14T12:29:00.000-05:00

Monday will, per usual, bring us a new episode of Blogulator Radio for the Fancy Pants Gangsters Netcast Network. Here is a preview of the next edition, with your hosts Chris and Jerksica:

A is for Adam Scott of Parks and Recreation.
B is for is for Julie Bowen, star of Modern Family.
C is for Community.
D is for is for Kat Dennings, star of 2 Broke Girls.
E is for Eddie Cibrian, star of The Playboy Club (RIP).
F is for Ben Folds, judge of The Sing-Off.
G is for Garret Dillahunt, star of Raising Hope.
H is for Happy Endings.
I is for Ioan Gruffud, star of Ringer.
J is for Jonathan Banks, star of Breaking Bad.
K is for Anna Kournikova, trainer for The Biggest Loser.
L is for Louie.
M is for Millionaire Matchmaker.
N is for New Girl.
O is for The Office.
P is for Pan Am.
Q is for Aidan Quinn, star of Prime Suspect.
R is for Revenge.
S is for Suburgatory.
T is for Terra Nova.
U is for Up All Night.
V is for The Vampire Diaries.
W is for Work of Art: The Next Great Artist.
X is for The X Factor.
Y is for You, the viewer, who puts up with all this crap.
Z is for Zeek from Parenthood.

The West Wing: All Grown Up

2011-10-13T14:53:00.005-05:00

Watching The West Wing almost a decade after the show’s airings is an exercise in nostalgia and surprise. Because the show aired during a very formative period of my intellectual and political life (the time where idealism and self-importance is high enough to make one think one could change the world, but not high enough to make one think Atlas Shrugged is the most misunderstood piece of genius ever conceived), I think I’m abnormally aware of the paradigm shift that’s occurred since the show aired and how it has tainted much of the idealistic self-righteousness that drives every episode. Viewing the show now through the lens of a post-Bush II, mid-endless-war, mid-Arab-Spring consciousness tarnishes the idealism of the show, not because it seems self-defeating or dewy-eyed, but because it no longer seems idealistic.

Let me preface my subsequent scathing criticism by saying this: There are still incredible moments in The West Wing. The episode where Donna, Josh, and Toby get left behind in Indiana and finally, at the end of the day, Donna says, “I have such an impulse to knock your heads together…Eight modes of transportation, the kindness of six strangers, random conversations with twelve more, and nobody brought up Bartlet versus Ritchie but you.” Or in the first season when they decided to let Bartlet be Bartlet and they all dorkily stand and say, “I serve at the pleasure of the President,” but each with mildly different wordings. Or that episode where Leo has to testify before Congress and be questioned about his alcoholism, but Bartlet agrees to take the Censure to protect him. The show is funny, fast-paced, intelligent, and it has its intense moments of idealism.

But the central tenant of the Bartlet Doctrine (and something which I and my friends ate up with a spoon) is a morally ambiguous imperialism masquerading as a morally infallible humanitarianism. The West Wing isn’t 24 by any means, but the same cultural milieu of Islamophobia that produced and made wildly popular a show about the pursuit, capture, and torture of soulless “terrorists” also shaded what could be regarded as the antithesis of 24. After “Isaac and Ishmael”, the alternate universe episode in which the staff members and a group of students attempt to grapple with the complexities of domestic security and the understanding that Islamic extremists (read: not normal Muslims) perpetrate attacks on America, the show quickly begins to classify the leaders of the Islamic world as women-beaters and malevolent fundamentalists, spewing diatribes about “Death to America”. The show fixates on antagonistic Islamic countries while juxtaposing the unerring righteousness of America: the “Ayatollah” condemns his son’s medical saviors as heathen kidnappers while Bartlet convinces the reluctant doctor to fulfill his Hippocratic Oath and perform life-saving surgery on the boy; the US may be selling arms to Qatar, the evil nation that beats its women, but the US government has CJ and Nancy to, you know, make a scene and cry or whatever. What’s more, not only do the governments of Arab countries harbor terrorists, but countries like Qatar welcome them into their political ranks! The conniving, plotting Qatari minister is an incredibly convenient bit of story line that effectively vilifies Arab governments and portrays them as beyond diplomacy, beyond rationality. (I will admit, though, in light of the whole Iran-maybe-tried-to-assassinate-the-Saudi-ambassador thing, my point here might be moot.) Meanwhile, positive relations with Arab countries are barely mentioned; only when they exercise antagonism or political opportunism are they the focus of the Bartlet White House. It’s an incredibly narrow-minded approach to the Islamic faith and the complexities of foreign relations and leaves Arab allies out in the dark.

But this moralistic imperialism doesn’t only extend to Arab countries; rather, the Bartlet White House feels dangerously self-righteousness about Africans as well. And while the argument could be made that humanitarian intervention not only ignores the role that colonial exploitation played in the creation of atrocious poverty, but also perpetuates it, the liberal idealistic impulses it stirred in my 12-year-old self were hard to shake. The United States stepped in on behalf of the victims of an authoritarian government committing genocide! But a decade later, things look different. The invasion of Equatorial Kundu can be seen as an allegory to Rwanda or Sudan and the genocides that many feel the United States could have and should have militarily quelled, but the invasion, the ease with which US forces dominate the country, and the jerk-ish way Bartlet gloats to the Kundunese ambassadors that he’s taken their airport, all easily draw parallels to the ill-fated and morally-questionable invasion of Iraq. Watching the show again now, what seemed like Idealism, the triumphant intervention on behalf of the downtrodden, is suddenly no longer noble and just, but imperialist, ignorant, xenophobic. The cultural milieu of the show seems so out of date and uninformed that it frankly makes me uncomfortable.

The West Wing is still captivating as a wonderfully written and engaging piece of television, still incredibly entertaining, heartwarming, and charming. But watching it now at times makes me feel jaded, pitying the hapless middle-schooler so enamored of this fictitious and seemingly flawless White House. And it makes me wonder: What will we feel about the award-winning television shows of today? Will we find our idealization of the 1960s distasteful? Will Glee be considered paradoxically homophobic? Will we scoff at the moral relativism of shows that glamourize the drug trade, like Weeds or Breaking Bad? What about our cultural climate makes our favorite television shows so entertaining?

Food for thought, I guess. In the meantime, I’m going to keep watching.

Programming Note: Qualler Guest Posts on TVSurveillance.com

2011-10-12T14:10:00.000-05:00

Programming note: Qualler took his blogging skills to TVSurveillance.com this week, where he did a guest post with Cory Barker, the editor-in-chief of TV Surveillance (@corybarker on Twitter) for Mr. Barker's fifth entry in his ridiculously well-categorized, well-organized, and well written Test Pilot series. The topic for the day: the pilot of NBC's influential-but-possibly-for-the-wrong-reasons 80's legal juggernaut, LA Law.

Please check out the post over there and enjoy!

Blogulator Radio 27: We Are the Bravermans

2011-10-11T09:29:00.000-05:00

DOWNLOAD LINKAGE.

Qualler and Brigitte return to the scene of their Easter day episode to discuss the third season of everyone's favorite upper-middle-class northern California family that is definitely not fictional cuz they are so thoroughly obsessed with the show that it can't possibly be only a show, NBC's Parenthood. In the third season, the things the Qualler-Brigitte family argued about being a little bit stupid at the end of the second season mostly went away at the start of the new season. They discuss everything the first four episodes have to offer, from the surprisingly not-totally-ridiculous "I am gonna buy a baby" plot that Julia (Erika Christensen) is going through, to the still-kinda-boring "I still have life regrets" plots that Camille goes through.

Blogulator Radio is brought to you in part by Netflix, where you can stream your favorite TV shows and movies from your TV, computer, or many other devices as often as you want for just 7.99 a month. Start your free two week trial today and help support independent netcasting.For up to the minute updates all up in your upness, be sure to subscribe to Blogulator Radio via iTunes or RSS.

Being a modern show for modern people, we’ve got all sorts of ways to find us online. We’ve got your Facebook and your Twitter, and you can follow Qualler (@marqualler) and Chris (@qhrizpolley) on Twitter as well. Of course we always welcome comments or questions either in the comments below or through email at bradio@fancypantsgangsters.com. We also invite you to check out our non-audio version at TheBlogulator.com for more than just TV talk.

Swamplandia! by Karen Russell

2011-10-10T09:53:00.003-05:00

Here's something I've discovered about myself within the last year: I love being in book clubs, but I actually don't love choosing the books all that much. Both of my book clubs operate under the same rule: each month, one member picks the book, then hosts the book club at her (no boys allowed! Well, no boys want to be in my book clubs, but anyway) home. I happened to have to pick both of my book club books at the same time, and you know what? It's a lot of pressure! You want to choose something people will like, because you crave approval from your fellow book nerds, but you also want to pick something you yourself want to read, and also something that will be discussable--if everyone loves a book, there's rarely enough to talk about.

It occurs to me now that the smart thing to do would have been to PICK THE SAME BOOK FOR BOTH CLUBS, but why take the easy route? I chose How to Live Safely in a Science Fictional Universe by Charles Yu for one of them, and Swamplandia! for the other. I actually had very specific reasons for this; I consider one of my book clubs "edgier" than the other, which is so stupid, but anyway, both of the book clubs had pretty poor attendance. I'm not sure my taste in books is quite in line with book club sensibilities.

So: Swamplandia!. I'd actually heard some pretty awesome stuff about this book, so I was excited to read it, but when it arrived in the mail from Amazon I was a little concerned about the heft of it. It was a thick paperback with thin paper and very small font and even I, reader that I am, can be intimidated by these things. And my suspicions were not unfounded--this book was WAY too long. But before I tell you why, let me first tell you what it's about.

Swamplandia! chronicles the adventures of the Bigtree family, specifically twelve-year-old Ava, but also, to an extent, her brother Kiwi and her sister Osceola as well. The Bigtrees live on Swamplandia!, one of the Ten Thousand Islands off the coast of Eastern Florida, which are largely uninhabited besides a few dozen TOTAL WEIRDOS, some of which Ava comes into contact with throughout the story. Swamplandia! is also the name of their alligator-themed amusement park (for lack of a better term); the Bigtrees own nearly one hundred of the swamp monsters (all of whom are named "Seth" for some inexplicable and somewhat unsettling reason), and the main attraction at Swamplandia! is an alligator wrestling show featuring Ava's mother, the infamous Hilola Bigtree.

But by the start of Ava's tale, Hilola has already passed away from cancer, and the family is reeling without her. Swamplandia! is falling apart, crushed under a mountain of massive debt, Ava is lonely, Osceola is clearly losing her damn mind, and Kiwi is desperate to go to the mainland to maybe make some money and perhaps get himself an education. When the kids' father, Chief, heads to the mainland under mysterious circumstances, claiming that he's going to save Swamplandia!, the remaining Bigtrees scatter to the four winds. Kiwi also goes to the mainland, to work at World of Darkness, Swamplandia!'s much more successful competitor; Osceola heads off to get married to her ghost boyfriend (more on this later), disappearing into the wilds of the Everglades; and Ava goes looking for her sister with the help of this Birdman dude who is mad sketchy, because she is a CHILD who has been ABANDONED by EVERYONE IN HER FAMILY.

So let's get back to Osceola and her ghost fetish. Long story short, Ossie finds a book that convinces her she can conjure spirits, and she has numerous romantic dalliances with all sorts of long-dead personages, none of which are very serious until she and Ava find a dredge boat, its crew long dead, and Ossie begins "dating" Louis Thanksgiving, a young man who died on the dredge back in the early twentieth century. What was strange about this aspect of the book is that by all appearances, the reader is supposed to believe that Ossie is actually communicating with spirits. Ossie performs several feats she could not do without specialized knowledge (which Louis has and she doesn't), and all signs point to she was probably definitely seeing ghosts. HOWEVER--this is the book's only real magical realist element, if you don't count some stuff Ava purportedly sees while she's running around the Ten Thousand Islands, starving and half-crazed with thirst and probably hallucinating like whoa. The entire element struck me as strangely out of place in an otherwise relatively normal narrative, which wouldn't be such a problem, except that basically the entire second half of the book (which was SO LONG and full of beautiful, unnecessary descriptions of the swamp that I just wanted to beat my head against a wall) was predicated on the notion that Ossie had taken off to get married to her dead boyfriend and Ava had to search for her. By the time I got halfway through that section, I neither wanted Ava to find Ossie, nor did I particularly care if either of them survived, which is not really the reaction I think the author was going for.

The sections that described Kiwi's experiences on the mainland, however, were much more interesting, despite the fact that they were hella sad and pathetic. He was by far the most compelling character for me; Ava and Ossie were TSTL, and the Chief was the WORST. FATHER. EVER. But Kiwi had a lot of depth, and I don't even think it's necessarily because his experiences were more relatable than anyone else's (although they were, as they did not involve ghost husbands or trusting creepy drifters for no apparent reason, AVA), but because he was the one person who was trying to do the absolutely right thing, even though he kept running into obstacle after obstacle.

And, I mean, clearly Russell has an enormous talent. The novel was beautifully written, if not entirely compelling. I think its main weakness (and this is entirely subjective of course) was that it depicted a world that I had no interest in, and in which I did not want to spend any time. Everyone was SO poor and unhappy, everything was SO gross and frightening, that I had no interest in allowing the world of Swamplandia! into my headspace for any longer than necessary.

Off The Couch And Into The Theater: October 2011

2011-10-07T12:34:00.000-05:00

Wow, I can't believe it's October and I still haven't seen Drive, Moneyball, and/or 50/50. What is wrong with me? I will try to remedy as much of this during the weekend as possible. In fact, the only movie I saw during the month of September was Contagion, a movie I thought for sure I was going to let slip by me. Then I realized we have a friend who used to be a nurse and really likes watching people get sick on screen. I know; it's sick. But we love her! Oh and maybe I set myself up for it because I didn't really care about liking the movie, but Soderbergh's apathy toward filmmaking really came through on the screen. Beautiful shots, but barely-there characters in a wafting ensemble of quiet panic and generic consequences. It wasn't bad though. Objectively better than Outbreak, but not nearly as entertaining or monkey-filled. Here's the releases for this month, with "Do I Wanna See It?" percentages in parentheses...

Oct 7th: As you can see by my monthly faves on the sidebar to your right, I am very curious and skeptical of Real Steel (62%), the family robot boxing drama starring Hugh Jackman. I was much looking forward to it joining the pantheon of terrible ideas with brilliant execution such as Troll 2 and Con-Air, but alas, it's now being marketed and received as an Iron Giant-esque touching story of father and son. I showed the trailer for The Ides of March (87%) to my Media Studies class as an example of hegemony and yet I couldn't help but be once again intrigued by the powerhouse of actors that dominate the election thriller helmed by George Clooney. On the art house side of things, the Norwegian dramedy Happy Happy (19%) follows a single woman who becomes obsessed with her happily married neighbors, who seem to have life figured out. If it weren't fluffy-looking it could have made for a damn good suspense flick. The dramedy might need to die out for a while methinks. My Afternoons with Marguerite (11%) was supposed to come out last month, but the heartfelt Gerard Depardieu-befriends-an-old-lady comedy is coming out this weekend instead. Still not gonna see it. Unless my mom or stepdad DVR it a year from now and we watch it on Christmas. I could see that happening.

Oct 14th: The remake of The Thing (91%) is coming out and while I'd like to say "finally" and move on, it seems to have been produced/released relatively quickly, which either means it was hastily done or it hasn't become an opus over-bloated ordeal and could be what it looks like - a lean take on the Carpenter classic. I'm fine with that, though I will miss the synths. Meanwhile, I've never seen the original Footloose (34%), but I've always found it odd when two remakes are released on the same day. I can't help but think that a time traveler from the past would be very confused. The Big Year (59%) probably has no reason to be good, it being a bird-hunting comedy starring Steve Martin, Jack Black, and Owen Wilson, but I have a dumb soft spot for all three of those men and so I kind of want to see the assuredly milquetoast tale of a group of friends out for a weekend with their guns and binoculars. Michael Shannon stars in Take Shelter (93%), which guarantees that it's going to be creepy, and everyone should know by now how much I adore creepy. I just hope I don't let this one wait until Nerdflix like I did with My Son My Son What Have Ye Done a couple years ago. Blackthorn (97%) tells the tale of what if Butch Cassidy survived his shootout with the Bolivian police and went on trying to live after a life full of criminal escapades. The clincher, besides harkening back to the best Western ever? Sam Shepard plays Butch! One actor I don't care about is Chris Evans, whose attempt at seriousness, Puncture (62%), is The Lincoln Lawyer meets Half Nelson, with a defense attorney who's addicted to drugs.They're lucky they combined murder and drugs, otherwise that percentage would be far lower. Toast (66%) also gets me at a couple weak spots, as it weaves a story through foodies in 1960s England. That should be self-explanatory.

Oct 21st: Never saw the first two, but I always have an inkling to see a ghost story, so Paranormal Activity 3 (43%) is much more welcome this Halloween than another Saw film. Who knows? If the first two are on Nerdflix, I might be there. I really can't believe we're getting another The Three Musketeers (38%), and that this one looks so action-heavy without even the flourishes of your average Michael Bay production that it will likely be beyond forgettable. Margin Call (61%) dramatizes the 2008 financial crisis, and while I heard HBO's version Too Big to Fail was erratic and overly staged, I am always interested in how recent events are so quickly turned into entertainment nowadays. Plus I just saw Inside Job and that was pretty good. Kevin Smith's Red State (90%) gets its proper release and while many people, myself included, have problems with the man, everyone seems to agree that it's nice that he tried something different here. Too dark to be called a comedy, too comedic to be called horror, and too political to be called a horror comedy, it might just be a good swan song for him. I'm pretending his hockey comedy in production doesn't exist. Johnny English Reborn (2%) is Mr. Bean's latest assault on America. I watch enough Bean with my mother-in-law, thank you very much. Sorry! I just don't get it! He makes weird faces! It girl Juno Temple's career is supposed to be catapulted with Dirty Girl (58%), about an angsty teen who goes on a road trip with her gay BFF, but it's gotten bad reviews and has two starkly different trailers - one mass-marketed as inspirational, another indie-marketed as sardonic. Weekend (53%) looks like a majestically shot gay romance, but that's about it. Sounds like a end-of-the-queue Nerdflix flick to me. Colin Firth stars in the ensemble Main Street (46%), which looks quirky and about a small town. I don't want to prejudge it because it could be State & Main, but since it's not written by David Mamet, probably not.

Oct 28th: I thought originally that Anonymous (84%) was going to be an intense literary drama about what if Shakespeare didn't exist, but according to all the TV spots it looks like it's going to be a political caper about how that relates to an attempted ousting of the Queen. Boo. Still interested. I had no idea why I was interested in Puss in Boots (77%) until my lovely wife reminded me that I love cats and I particularly love them when they act like serious humans. And so here I go, off to a Shrek spin-off movie in a few weeks. In Time (88%) seems to be the most exciting mainstream release of the month, however, as it could be sleek and perplexing like Minority Report or Dark City if it's smart, but it's probably more likely that it will be flat and Timberlakey. Hunter S. Thompson never really caught my reading eye, so The Rum Diary (41%), keeping in form from Fear & Loathing by keeping Johnny Depp cast as the protagonist, won't either. I do find it odd that it looks far breezier than a Thompson-based story should. Sleeping Beauty (26%) stars Emily Browning of Sucker Punch, but isn't a live-action remake of the classic Disney animated film. Lamerz. I would totally see that. It's something about a college girl and temptation instead. Pedro Almodovar's latest is The Skin I Live In (86%) with Antonio Banderas as a plastic surgeon, so basically a Spanish Nip/Tuck with a lot more intelligent psychological profiling. Black Power Mixtape 1967-1975 (68%) chronicles the eponymous movement through a Swedish lens. Why are they so interested in our country? Don't they have enough sex crimes and girls with tattoos solving them to keep them busy? And finally, Oranges and Sunshine (60%) features Emily Watson as a social worker who does powerful stuff.

As always, big thx to Joe at Uptown Theatre for hooking me up with the indie release dates for Minneapolis!

Damages Comics

2011-10-06T11:00:00.000-05:00

Hey, it's comics inspired by TV's Damages.

Classic Episode Rundown: Salute Your Shorts, Episode 1-6; "Toilet Seat Basketball"

2011-10-05T06:00:00.000-05:00

Three very important issues arose during my viewing of this sports-centric episode in which the camp holds a basketball tournament to determine who will be remembered as legends and whose picture ends up on the cafeteria wall on a toilet bowl labeled "LOSERS."

1. The America in which camp counselors can teach kids about the true competitive nature of a capitalist society by plastering their photos on old toilet bowls is likely over. There are lessons to be learned in losing, including the inefficiencies of selfish play versus teamwork, as Bobby Budnick and his diminishing candy stash could tell you. There are also lessons to be learned in cheating, including its effectiveness until confronted with moralizing do-gooders like Telly who refuse to steal the opposition's playbook. And there are also lessons to be learned in interior design, including the obvious charm of a toilet bowl on a campground cafeteria wall. We will never progress if every kid gets a ribbon, and only the truest douches who see through all this crap will succeed in business as adults, creating an even more total douche-ocracy than already exists.

2. The America in which roving black-and-white handycams makes sports look more awesome is likely over. Sports are always cooler when shot gonzo, without color, from the ground-up. I mean, how else are those color graffiti graphics plastered over your Ollie gonna make it look so sweet? Today's kids are raised on iCarly's top-down MySpace angles that oversaturate everything in false coolness that we '90s kids can totally see through. I dare you to try to look as extreme on your webcam as I did flying around in rollerblades with the wrong date at the bottom of the screen.

3. Booger culture is a shadow of its former greatness. Remember when mucus was so gross/hilarious/great that companies invested in video games like Boogerman: A Pick and Flick Adventure and toys like plastic-head-filled-with-fake-snot Gooey Louie? I was reminded when Sponge got caught digging for gold at basketball practice and was called out for practicing his "pick-and-roll." Ha! Admittedly, I have no idea if today's children understand the appeal (I imagine it's human nature that they do), but it seems like lame adults have filled family movies more with dumb pop culture references and farts than our old, runny friend. Europe may now be the last bastion of snot, and that, citizens, is truly gross.

**************************
Memorable Quotes

Dina - "For your information, nature is out this year. Neoprene is in."

Michael - "Why'd you just stand there?"
Z.Z. - "I was thinking how much I liked birds."

Qualler's Episode of the Month: August/September

2011-10-04T06:00:00.000-05:00

You guys, this has been a pretty awesome year of TV overall, but, one thing that makes it challenging to write these recaps on a monthly basis is that the two best shows of the year, Louie and Breaking Bad, are just so dominant that I wanted to give the other shows that aren't those two awesome, awesome shows a chance to shine. Luckily, two months worth of TV is gonna do that for you. Here is the best of the best on the TV landscape in August and September.

Oh, and it should go without saying that what follows is full of spoilers, if you are averse to those sorts of things.

Rescue Me has not made this list, or any of my Best Of lists since probably its second season. The show's problems are well-documented - the season three Tommy Gavin rape-but-actually-she-likes-it scene made us all squirm, and eventually give up on finishing that season. I took the entire season four off, before checking in for most of the fifth season which had some remarkably excellent episodes(*) and some remarkably terrible episodes(**). A show like this shouldn't go on as long as it did, which I think is why the seasons after the second feel so wildly up-and-down.

(*) Michael J. Fox's story arc was a twisted good time, Tommy jumping off the wagon again was surprisingly powerful, and the episode "Torch" stands as the show's best.

(**) Of course, the episode after "Torch" was an idiotic episode about kids driving the firetrucks all over the place and Lou doing wacky stuff, and the season finale was a horrible letdown that ended like almost every other season ended, in Misery Porn craziness.

Thankfully, creators/writers Denis Leary and Peter Tolan didn't totally forget what made the show intriguing in the first place: the mixture of dudes-talking-to-each-other (which, still, even in the bad episodes was usually the show's saving grace - the dudes in Ladder 62 always had great chemistry) combined with sudden bursts of firefighting action. And the series finale, "Ashes", was not lacking in either of those qualities. It somehow made Lou's death by fire explosion sad but comic. The perfect vortex that occurred on the way to his ashes pouring ceremony was a perfectly executed comic set piece that felt extremely authentic in the universe of the show(***).

(***)And it featured Stephen Pasquele trying to poop out Lou's ashes that got stuck up there. Priceless.

There were a few things that were remnants of the bad stuff the show has done, like the fake-out intro where the funeral for five firefighters was totally just Tommy's dream (although the dream sequence was a great performance by John Scurti), and Tommy ending back up with Janet doesn't work because, well, that's one of the less interesting things the show does. Part of that, I think, is that Andrea Roth is just kind of there as his ex-wife. Callie Thorne as Sheila was completely fearless on the show, even when Leary and Tolan made her do completely stupid, arguably sexist stuff. All in all, a fine conclusion to a show that had brilliant moments.

Awkward. is one of the few shows that is on that will cause Brigitte to stick her head up from the mess of work that she's got going in her Ph.D program. And while the show as a whole only occasionally rises above the enjoyable romp category of shows, its likable cast and sharp dialogue make it stand out on MTV. It's probably the best scripted show on MTV since Daria. Episode seven, "Over My Dead Body" was the right synthesis of 30 Rock-lite madcap comic setpieces, genuine teen angst (but not too angsty), and straight-up laughs. The ever-suffering Jenna Hamilton gets roped into playing Dead Stacey, a long-standing character in a long-standing school assembly who was played by Jenna's mom in the 90s. In a lot of ways, the show resembles a more madcap version of a late-90s WB dramedy, which means it gets to skip over a lot of the more maudlin stuff that it would inevitably get involved in. All in all, Awkward. is a surprisingly (because of the network it is on) subtle look at life as a teenager while being simultaneously funny, charming, and well-acted.

Archer had a fantastic second season, one which I raved about constantly and even netcasted about. FX is a brilliantly run network that apparently knows when they have a great show, and as a result, has gifted us a hybrid third season opener / special TV movie / miniseries that has aired the last three Thursdays(****) in September titled "Heart of Archness". If the second season was brilliant in how it developed into an ensemble comedy (animated or no) on the level of Arrested Development, then this three-parter is all about showcasing the many ways the show flexes its multiple strengths. H. Jon Benjamin is so, so good as Sterling Archer, and Jessica Walter is the perfect mom / foil for Archer. And now that the show's main cast has such great chemistry, adding Patrick Warburton and David Cross just upped the comedic notches even more. So many quotable moments, so many flashes of why Archer is actually a damn good secret agent, and so many laughs. If you need an entry point to the show and don't want to sit through the also-good-but-slightly-uneven first season, try this.

(****)Premiering a very good three-part episode of the show after the highly popular It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia is also a great business strategy. John Landgraf from FX, I want to make TV business love to you(*****).

(*****)And that's even after you had to cancel Terriers and Light's Out. And that's a sign of how well you run the business: I don't even blame you for cancelling them! I totally understand! Wow!

Speaking of great shows on FX, Louie is probably the second best show of the year and had another ridiculously strong season, even stronger than its very good first season. It went to darker places than its first season, not afraid to confront them head on, especially in the very excellent episode "Eddie", and it went to straight-up weird places like the front-half of the "Halloween/Ellie" episode, or the back half of the "Bummer/Blueberries" episode. In my mind, the high point of the back half of the second season was episode eight, "Come On, God". It opened with Louie as a pro-masturbation activist on a Fox News show, with lots of easy but no less hilarious digs on the Conservative Religious Right, and one hilarious point by Louie that, if God wants sex to happen only in monogomous marriages, then He is probably using those marriages to masturbate to. (OK, Louis CK delivers that much, much better than I do, obviously.)

But like the show does so well, it eschews the easy holier-than-thou attitude a lesser show would have taken when he went out for drinks with his debate partner on the Fox News show. He finds that she is indeed interested in getting to know him and avoids making any kind of judgment on his life choices. Like the show does so, so well, it gets to be simultaneously touching, funny, sad, and most of all, super honest. It is these qualities that help elevate Louie above Really Funny Comedy and into the Great Shows category in my brain.

It seems so unfair, then, that the Episode of the Month award winner goes to what is far and away the best show on TV and, according to Chuck Klosterman, moving into Best Show of All Time territory(******), Breaking Bad. The first half of season four was very good, especially the phenomenal season premiere "Box Cutter". Episodes two through seven were all about the slow burn of plot mechanics, introducing the elements of the fourth season that make their way to the forefront of the show in the back half. And holy hell, what a great back half it has been. As Brigitte & I have caught up on season four, I kept thinking, starting with episode eight, "THIS is definitely the best episode of the season so far." As the season has progressed to its conclusion (which comes next Sunday, October 9), the events have just built upon each other to the point where episode eleven, "Crawl Space", reaches an unbelievable level of dread, one that the show has not yet reached, which is incredible given the dread faced in season two's "ABQ" , or season three's "One Minute", "Half Measures", and "Full Measures.

(******)Personally, I think that kind of debate is problematic in general, which I think is what Klosterman is saying in the actual piece that he wrote. Comparing The Wire to The Sopranos to Breaking Bad to Mad Men is not a true Apples to Apples comparison.

But according to the rules of this thing that I made up, I have to pick a specific episode. So if you put a gun to my head, I'll choose episode nine, "Bug", if only for its surprising re-introduction to the Skylar-Ted plot, Walt's growing anger and resentment over Jesse's perceived disobedience to him, and the raw, rip-out-your-heart conclusion with Walt and Jesse's brawl that ended with Jesse beating the shit out of Walt and telling him, chillingly, "Get the fuck out of here and never come back." If that's not some serious finality to a relationship that was getting more and more strained, then I don't know what is. Of course, the episode before that had the incredible Gus Fring origin story in "Hermanos", episode ten "Salud" had the badass Scarface-like takeout of THE ENTIRE CARTEL(!!!!!!) by Gus, Mike and Jesse, and "Crawl Space" had the aforementioned culmination of the season's creeping dread with Walt maniacally laughing like a freakin' comic book villain in his cash hideout after coming to the realization that, because Skylar gave Ted the money to make the IRS go away(*******) he can't escape from his and his family's inevitable death by murder while Marie calls Skylar frantically to tell her that the Cartel put a hit out on Hank again and HOLY CRAP THAT WAS INTENSE.

(*******)Which was, in my professional opinion as a CPA, the right move, although I would not endorse the means of acquiring said money.

So, yes. Other shows, you are also great, but Breaking Bad, you are extra great. Again.

Blogulator Radio Episode 26: The Real Housewives of Asia

2011-10-03T20:18:00.001-05:00

Your host Chris takes a break from all the hype about new fall shows for a bit to take a trip abroad with current on-hiatus Blogulator contributor Lady Amy (stream/download the latest episode via Fancy Pants Gangsters netcast network here!), who’s been traveling around the world for almost a year now. You may remember her from one of the netcast’s very first episodes, in which she and Chris discussed some of the biggest trends in Chinese television. Well in this edition she checks in from the heart of India to talk about her recent stay in Vietnam, where she was hypnotized by that country’s version of The Price is Right, as well as offers her humorous take on what she thinks would happen if some of the States’ most popular programs (such as Two and a Half Men, Law & Order, and The Real Housewives…) were re-purposed for Asian audiences. So take a load off, forget about how terrible 2 Broke Girls is, and get some real culture – from two American TV fans positing theories about the nature of television around the globe.

Blogulator Radio is brought to you in part by Netflix, where you can stream your favorite TV shows and movies from your TV, computer, or many other devices as often as you want for just 7.99 a month. Start your free two week trial today and help support independent netcasting.

For up to the minute updates all up in your upness, be sure to subscribe to Blogulator Radio via iTunes or RSS.

Being a modern show for modern people, we’ve got all sorts of ways to find us online. We’ve got your Facebook and your Twitter, and you can follow Qualler and Chris on Twitteras well. Of course we always welcome comments or questions either in the comments below or through email at bradio@fancypantsgangsters.com.. We also invite you to check out our non-audio version at TheBlogulator.com for more than just TV talk.

Today's Top 40 Spectrum: Mostly White People

2011-09-30T15:36:00.000-05:00

If you're ever curious why white people typically don't rule the Top 40 airwaves nowadays, check the majority of the people responsible for this month's new hits. Sure white people can be good at creating striking melodies, but said striking melodies also often come with a heavy dose of blandness. How can a powerful vocal trill or an obnoxiously catchy chorus be bland, you ask? I'm not sure, but as much as I cannot deny Adele's deep-ranged beauty or Adam Levine's earworm prowess, I do not find either of them particularly interesting. In fact, if we were to rank today's Top 40 spectrum by sheer brightness, meaning how much a song can brighten up a dreary day and actually make your mood change for the better, well then Big Sean would be at the top of the list and all the others would be in arbitrary order below him because none of them FEEL good to listen to. But for argument's sake, here they are, your newest batch of Top 40 spectacle, listen from most tolerable to least...

"Someone Like You" by Adele: This video just went live last night apparently. It's black and white just like the song. Piano and voice. Once soft and then passionate. Low arpeggios on the ivories and then high ones. And yet even if it's just on in the background, whenever she gets to those big notes ("don't forGET") it's like you're suddenly a vulnerable American Idol audience member and you get verklempt. It's so simple and often so boring but if you have just one iota of emotion in your bones at any given time, then it's likely going to connect and dig in and never let go. At least not until another ballad dominates mainstream radio.

"Pumped Up Kicks" by Foster the People: Clearly since I felt so ambivalent about this month's top song it should not be interpreted that of course I, the nerdy white hipster, like it when a nerdy white "hipster" song gets hugely popular on the Top 40 station in town. Yes it has an imminently hummable chorus, and that is probably the only reason it's higher up than the others in this group of five, and yes it's got a wuss-rock mentality more so than anything that's been blasted through sports stadiums since "Young Folks" by Peter Bjorn & John flirted with ubiquity, but neither of these factors matter because the song itself is frustratingly terrible. It's about shooting somebody who's running away from you, apparently, and while there's probably a good reason for that, I don't care. It doesn't sound like they care what they're singing about either. Even the production is full of torpor, like they were whistling to themselves one day and decided to quick record it before getting a good night's sleep on that decision.

"My Last" by Big Sean feat. Chris Brown: If the Auto-Tune wasn't so aggressive and/or the lyrics weren't so excessively discomforting this would have likely taken Foster the People's spot in the spectrum. Underneath both of these factors is a decidedly free-flowing and almost modest-sounding anthem. Perhaps it's because it's playing against four songs that feel so cookie cutter (even when that works) that when someone takes the laid-back ethic of "Roll Up" by Wiz Khalifa or "Whatever it Takes" by T.I. but ratchets up the life-or-death histrionics even further, it somehow feels like a liberating swan song for the ages in comparison. It's really too bad that the soaring beats get too often interrupted by hyperbole about alcohol that sounds exactly like it's coming from an alcoholic rather than a morose partier, or at least some combination of the two.

"You and I" by Lady Gaga: Blogulator friend and commenter Molly had me watch this video before the song started getting played incessantly here in Minneapolis and she introduced it by telling me that this was her "country song." Immediately I knew I was in trouble. At first I thought I could handle her bombastic take on the most generic characteristics of modern pop country that she infused into her now by-the-numbers mix of weird The Cell-esque visuals and driving accessible diva pop, but then that awful booming distorted guitar came in, and alongside the "woo hoo" flourish no less, and I immediately made a face that resembled a leaner Jabba the Hut having bad gas. And as she gets more and more "wild" throughout the song/video, making way for her Joe Calderone persona, I suddenly had flashbacks to Chris Gaines, the big Aerosmith ballads of the mid-90s, and I just wanted to do anything but give in to Gaga's latest shock tactic - tackling genre-specific pop music in the most egregious way possible.

"Stereo Hearts" by Gym Class Heroes feat. Adam Levine: For some reason my brain likes to think of 90s acts like Scapegoat Wax, Citizen King, and Bloodhound Gang whenever I hear this strange concoction of "rapping" and neon-colored bile. It automatically puts the melodies at a disadvantage, which have the odd ability of ingraining themselves into my inner jukebox for exactly the duration of the song (no more, no less), because I'm tricked into thinking I'm once again 15 years old and unable to tell the different between an ADHD-fueled love song that happens to have rhythmic verse-spitting and something that is legitimately unique, interesting, and vibrant. Luckily the trick only happens while the song is playing and for the purposes of this feature I can just press pause and exit the window rather than get stricken with horror while in the car when it comes blaring on.

Glee: My Final Plea for Less Sue

2011-09-29T15:40:00.006-05:00

The premise behind the character of Sue Sylvester is this: She’s the cut-throat coach of the cheerleading squad, which, like most cheerleading squads in movies or television shows, has won nationals a bajillion times. She is ruthless and evil because she is the best, because, like the great Zeus or the manipulative Hera, she will smite any threat to her dominance. Her sabotage for the Glee Club comes not from personal vendetta or hatred for any particular person or group, but from a Machiavellian desire to maintain her dictatorial position (and her excessive funding). The most vulnerable she gets is when she admits that her wish to be Madonna was thwarted by a perm gone awry, or when her sister dies (and even then she shows no weakness, just stoic anger). This is the Sue Sylvester that was funny, the one who could justifiably say things like, “You think this is tough? Try being waterboarded!”

But somewhere along the way, Sue lost traction. She’s lost her place on top, and now the (admittedly well-worded) insults and sabotage of New Directions just smack of desperation. Sue Sylvester is no longer totally sure she’s a god amongst men; instead, she’s a petty, vindictive crazy person irrationally attempting to bring the Glee Club down. And it’s not particularly funny. When Sue was the top-dog, raining down insults upon the misfit Glee Club and demanding ever-increasing recklessness from her minions the Cheerios, it was hilarious; she was the crazy dictator, sharp-tongued and maniacal, undermining the confidence of self-conscious teens just for the fun of it. Now, though, the tone has changed. Sue is no longer single-mindedly out to promote herself and Cheerios; instead, her only reason for living is to destroy the Glee Club. But that desire to bring them down is now the motivation unto itself, which is just annoyingly pathetic. The things she says aren’t funny anymore—they’re sad and uncomfortable—and yet the writers spent an entire episode—the season premiere, no less!—shoving joke after painfully pathetic joke down our throats. To make things worse, because the Glee Club is doing so well (they went to Nationals, they’re a happy family, they’re singing fun songs!), not only does Sue just seem like an annoyingly misguided bully, picking on people cooler than her to make herself feel better, but it also taints the happiness and fun of the Glee Club. When Schue launches a counter-offensive against her, it’s no longer the heroic overthrow of an evil dictator; rather, he’s just taking this woman whose life apparently has no other purpose than to demean and destroy something that doesn’t actually affect her and ripping her apart, when, really, he should just be finding her a freaking hobby or something. This isn’t Mad Men or Breaking Bad or something, guys; it’s a show about singing high schoolers. So when the bad guy isn’t easily hate-able and the heroes seem vindictive and childish, it makes for bad television.

Watching singing teens struggle with high school is fun. Watching adults act like children isn’t. And I swear to God if Blaine hadn’t been the essence of cuteness in that bow tie and those high-water red pants singing “It’s Not Unusual”, I probably would have given up right then and there.

But the second episode this season demonstrated that when the show sticks to the actual teenagers, quality television is created. Quinn’s sudden change into a reincarnation of Angela Chase from My So-Called Life has been super controversial (people seem to either love it or hate it), but at least it’s interesting. I love that the return of her unwanted child has turned Quinn into Gollum, vacillating between a sweet-talking people pleaser eager to get her life back on track and a hoarse-voiced shell of her former self, hell-bent on getting back her precious—I mean baby.

I’m also digging that Kurt and Blaine are finally hitting some relationship snags (when Kurt told Blaine to transfer to McKinley, because he wanted “to be with [him] every waking moment” I almost turned the television off). When the directors of West Side Story asked Blaine to read for Tony, even though he promised Kurt he’d only audition for Bernardo, I just knew things were going to get real. Kurt’s audition piece was wonderful, full of acrobatics and an incredible singing voice, the fact is that, like Artie said, he’s “too…delicate.” (Also, he sings alto, not tenor, which apparently escaped everyone’s notice.) It’s obvious that the amazingly-charming, less-falsetto-reliant Blaine is going to get the part, and it’s going to cause some serious DRAMZ. You could just see the total devastation in poor Kurt’s porcelain face.

And see, it’s reasons like that why I’m actually excited to tune in next week. I want to know what happens with Kurt and Britney’s competing campaigns for class president, I want to see the drama between Blaine and Kurt, I want to see if Rachel can get into that “exclusive performing arts school in New York”, and I want to see more baby drama with Gollum—I mean Quinn. And if the show sticks with the kids and leaves the adults alone, I think this season could be pretty promising. Leave Sue in for the bit parts, make Schue grow up, and let the kids act out their own drama.

The Help by Kathryn Stockett

2011-09-27T14:56:00.000-05:00

It turns out that this book is actually quite controversial, which I guess I might have been able to expect. The movie has turned out to be even more controversial, which makes sense since who reads anymore? But people love to go to the movies!

There’s probably no way you haven’t heard of The Help, or at least gotten a cursory glance at the purple-and-yellow cover that screams LADY BOOK!, but you might not know what it’s about. The Help chronicles a couple of years in the lives of three women in Jackson, Mississippi during the Civil Rights movement: Aibileen, a black maid for a middle-class family whose love for the children under her care is only made more poignant by the recent loss of her only son; Minnie, Aibileen’s friend, also a maid, whose smart mouth loses her every job but whose cooking is the best in the county; and Skeeter, a twenty-one-year-old woman fresh out of Ol’ Miss who feels like an outsider amongst the Jackson elite despite her pedigree.

The villain of the story is the awful ingrained prejudice of the post-Civil War South as exemplified by one Hilly Holbrook, Skeeter’s childhood friend and the president of the Jackson Junior League (?? Isn’t she a little young to be president of the Junior League? But anyway). Hilly prides herself on being able to destroy lives and force people to install bathrooms for their colored help. She gets Minnie blacklisted from all Jackson homes so she can’t find a job, and she routinely bullies Skeeter and their other childhood friend, the cold, cowardly Elizabeth. Hilly is almost unbelievably the worst, which I justified in my reading of the book and viewing of the movie by accepting her role as an embodiment of a whole range of societal ills.

Skeeter, who wants to be a journalist or an editor or something wordy, gets a job at the Jackson Journal as the Miss Myrna columnist, writing about house cleaning tips. Since Skeeter, having grown up on a plantation and everything, has never cleaned in her life, she asks Aibileen, Elizabeth’s maid, for advice and a tentative friendship grows. When Skeeter gets it into her head that she wants to write a book about the experiences of black domestics, she goes to Aibileen, who discovers, after an initial hesitancy, that she has a lot to say. Aibileen draws Minnie into the project, and Minnie draws in a bunch of other maids, and suddenly they have a pot boiler brewing.

Because of the Jim Crow laws, what Skeeter, Aibileen, and Minnie are doing is technically illegal, and as racial tensions grow, their enterprise becomes more and more risky, and the publication of the book has consequences for everyone involved.

The Help is, in all ways, a coming of age novel. Skeeter’s story is the most obvious one about growing up, learning to fight, getting your heart broken, and becoming a person of value in the world. But Aibileen comes of age, too, as does Minnie, as does Jackson, MS.

Blogulator Radio Episode 25: Revenge is a Dish Best Served with Pancakes

2011-09-26T17:17:00.000-05:00

In this week’s Blogulator Radio (stream/download via the Fancy Pants Gangsters netcast network here!), Qualler and Brigitte examine the new Fall TV season with thoughts on a few of the shows that make them the most giddy with excitement. Specifically, two shows that, on the surface, are very similar, but slightly deeper down are much different, in that one has potential to be a very solid, genuinely entertaining and well-scripted-for-what-it-is show, and the other has the potential to be a great entry in the pantheon of The Room-style TV shows. We talk mostly about Ringer on CW and Revenge on ABC. The main takeaway: Revenge is a dish best served with pancakes. Did we mention that we were eating pancakes while we recorded this episode? Mmmmm….pancakes.

Blogulator Radio is brought to you in part by Netflix, where you can stream your favorite TV shows and movies from your TV, computer, or many other devices as often as you want for just 7.99 a month. Start your free two week trial today and help support independent netcasting.

For up to the minute updates all up in your upness, be sure to subscribe to Blogulator Radio via iTunes or RSS.

Being a modern show for modern people, we’ve got all sorts of ways to find us online. We’ve got your Facebook and your Twitter, and you can follow Qualler and Chris on Twitteras well. Of course we always welcome comments or questions either in the comments below or through email at bradio@fancypantsgangsters.com.. We also invite you to check out our non-audio version at TheBlogulator.com for more than just TV talk.

Premiere Thoughts: Up All Night, The Playboy Club

2011-09-20T22:59:00.000-05:00

Note: This is yet another in a series of shorter, "seriously-off-the-top-of-his-head" posts (this time from Chris - thx to Qualler for allowing him to use his format!) on Fall premiere month for TV shows. These are not intended to be formal reviews and might not cover every show the day after they air. But, that's what blogs are for, amiright?

Up All Night
Wednesdays, 8/7c on NBC

This one's a little late to the party, but is worth repeating much of what has already been said on the blawgs, because it really does have the potential to not suck, unlike so many other of the new fall shows. Yes, Will Arnett and Christina Applegate have surprisingly great chemistry. Yes, it's great to see Arnett not play a caricature of Gob Bluth anymore. And yes, creator Emily Spivey of Parks & Recreation sure does know how to take an overly familiar concept and make it seem fresh just by doing some simple things like making it clear that despite the stresses of having a baby the couple is indeed happily married and ensuring the single-cam style is both reminiscent of many other newer-generation sitcoms but also exude a soft-hued quasi-cinematic tone. Oh and the jokes are pretty decent. Not knee-slapping, but endearingly entertaining. (Also, dig that sans serif title font!)

But there's something amiss in the pilot that keeps it from being truly a beacon of light in this abysmal fall TV season. Qualler distilled it pretty handily in his email to me when I asked him if I could steal his format: "Brig & I watched Up All Night last night - liked everything but Maya Rudolph's talk show/character." Yes, it is true. Maya Rudolph, who I actually tend to always give the benefit of the doubt, if only because Away We Go is cemented as one of my favorite movies of the 00s, is distractingly unfunny as Applegate's boss/family friend. You see, she has a daytime female-centric talk show and Applegate works on it. If you haven't heard, daytime talk shows are often parodies of themselves, so why not parody one inside of a realist narrative about child rearing? Anyway, it's fixable if Rudolph learns to subdue herself, which I already got the sense of during her non-bossing-people-around scenes, so let's hope it does, otherwise we'll be watching half of a great show and half of a terrible show, which is kind of like eating a Nutella and sauerkraut sandwich...unless you like sauerkraut.

Grade: B

The Playboy Club
Mondays, 10/9c on NBC

Sigh. I honestly wouldn't have even watched this if I knew that Playboy and Hugh Hefner were actually involved in its production. Yes, I would have still watched it despite the universally awful reviews because maybe perhaps, I thought to myself, there would somehow be something at least entertainingly bad or even a sliver of hope buried deep within it just waiting to get out. Because really, I still believe that this is a great premise for a show, even in a post-Mad Men world. Even with the same actress playing the "chocolate bunny" from that awesome Pryce-centered episode of the lauded AMC show. It still could have worked - either for camp value or for straight character study drama. But alas, it's instead just a vehicle for Hef to make believe to the masses (and himself I'm sure) that what he began in the 60s was actually a feminist movement in disguise.

Yup, you read that right. There's actually a moment where Hef narrates (whether it's him or a vocal doppelganger I suppose we don't know, but it's the worst voice over since Dexter said "this donut box is empty...like my soul" - yup, never letting it go, Brigitte!) and straight up says that he thinks he was giving these girls a voice, a sense of independence and purpose even. That actually made it through various versions of the script and into the aired pilot. I guess this shouldn't be surprising, however, considering that the bathrobed creepster and his cohorts are the gatekeepers for the whole thing. So ultimately, while I may be oversimplifying my analysis, I truly do think that everything that is godawful about the show (with the exception of the wretched music, which is wretched completely on its own demerits) can be linked back to the fact that this is not a creative endeavor. It's a combination of advertisement and chauvinist guilt. Why have the soulless Eddie Cibrian as the protagonist attorney who helps the rookie bunny Amber Heard cover a murder? Because Playboy wants to show that good honest men visit the club. Why have a "keyholder" attempt to rape the rookie bunny? Wouldn't that show that also horrible people get in the club? Yes, but fret not, the nice ones like Cibrian will be there to save the damsel in distress. Don't even get me started on the subplot where the closeted bartender and bunny duo use their lavish tips to fund a clandestine pro-homosexual rights organization. Hef was helping the gays before anyone else, people! Maybe HE should be our next president!

Grade: F-

Blogulator Radio Episode 24: The Least Sucky Emmys Yet?

2011-09-19T20:37:00.002-05:00

Join Chris, Qualler, Brigitte, and Jerksica, plus special guest Timothy, for a rousing and immediate post-Emmys party roundtable in this week’s Blogulator Radio (stream/download the episode here courtesy of the Fancy Pants Gangsters netcast network!). What might be most surprising is that the year’s most typically ignorable award ceremony, as you may have guessed from the episode’s title, is that it was actually one of the most fluid and well put-together celebrity industry masturbation sessions in recent memory. There were some genuinely poignant acceptance speeches, some for realzies funny jokes, and plenty of worthy wins to make even the most critical TV watcher at least mildly content. Sure there were also you fair share of blunders and bad ideas, but for the most part the Blogulator crew found themselves truly impressed by the little awards show that could. Well done, Emmys; now start nominating David Simon already!

Blogulator Radio is brought to you in part by Netflix, where you can stream your favorite TV and movies from your TV, computer, or many other devices as often as you want for just 7.99 a month. Start your free two week trial today and help support independent netcasting.

For up to the minute updates all up in your upness, be sure to subscribe to Blogulator Radio via iTunes or RSS.

Being a modern show for modern people, we’ve got all sorts of ways to find us online. We’ve got your Facebook and your Twitter, and you can follow Qualler on Twitter as well. Of course we always welcome comments or questions either in the comments below or through email at bradio@fancypantsgangsters.com.. We also invite you to check out our non-audio version at TheBlogulator.com for more than just TV talk.

Premiere Thoughts: New Girl, Whitney

2011-09-15T06:49:00.000-05:00

Note: This is yet another in a series of shorter, "seriously-off-the-top-of-his-head" posts on Fall premiere month for TV shows. These are not intended to be formal reviews and might not cover every show the day after they air. But, that's what blogs are for, amiright?

New Girl
Tuesdays at 9/8c on Fox

Although she is unquestionably super-pretty (Brigitte even says it ALL THE TIME), I'm not a huge fan of Zooey Deschanel. I usually think feel a huge wave of unwanted twee washing over me that I can't overcome and then I start looking up YouTube videos of cats, etc. But her role in New Girl is, I gotta admit, pretty much perfect.

As the title character who moves in with three dudes after she breaks up with her boyfriend, Zooey is a true weirdo (in a sitcom way, of course; she pretty much acts in what I would consider a "real life normal" way amongst my friends and me, but for TV she's kwayyyzee.) She makes up songs, she references Lord of the Rings, she even wears glasses! (Although, I am of the mind that she's even hotter with glasses, as are most Americans in the age of geek chic.) She definitely makes the show worth watching.

I have a slight concern with the supporting cast of three dudes. One of them, Damon Waynes Jr., is already going to be off the show since he is on the surprisingly-renewed Happy Endings, although I thought his role was the least funny part of the show. Jake M. Johnson plays sort of a toned-down Charlie from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (either that, or I got that impression because he kind of looks like a cleaned up version of Charlie and, on the show, was dating the Waitress from It's Always Sunny). And Max Greenfield, who was in Veronica Mars, has a funny recurring gag where every time he says something douchey, he has to put money in the Douchebag Jar.

It's not that they are not capable or smile-worthy, and there's certainly plenty of time for the dudes to develop quality repertoire with Mrs. Ben Gibbard (seriously, how is that possible?), but they weren't quite as smile-worthy as the title character. But there's time to develop and I'll come back.

Grade: B+

Whitney
Thursdays at 8:30/7:30c on NBC

I was totally and unnecessarily skewered by Chris, Brigitte, and even our guest Carrie Raisler on Blogulator Radio this week when it came out that I sorta, kinda laughed at some of the (incessant, beat-you-over-the-head) promos that NBC released for this multi-cam sitcom, and my general opinion that, although the show might not be great, star/writer Whitney Cummings might have some kind of future in sitcoms. (Although, having also created a show with much more positive buzz 2 Broke Girls, maybe that future is behind the scenes instead of starring.)

So, now that I've seen the finished product pilot, I gotta say: you were right, jerks. It's not very good, at all. (I still smiled at a few gags, though. Am I not allowed to smile? Why must you mock my happiness?!) And, Cummings is, while fine, not particularly hilarious. Filling the role of "dud sitcom for douchebags" that NBC seems to always need to fill on its Thursday lineup, it's still a big step up from the offensively bad Outsourced in a lame way. And if that's damning it with faint praise, then so be it. If the characters of Whitney showed up at the New Girl apartment, they'd all be paying into the Douchebag Jar a lot. I'll continue to keep one eye on this and another on my laptop in between Community and Parks and Recreation (while also keeping a watchful eye on Zombie-The Office).

Grade: C

Premiere Thoughts: Ringer, Parenthood

2011-09-14T07:34:00.000-05:00

Note: This is the first in a series of shorter, "seriously-off-the-top-of-his-head" posts on Fall premiere month for TV shows. These are not intended to be formal reviews and might not cover every show the day after they air. But, that's what blogs are for, amiright?

Ringer
Tuesdays, 9/8c on the CW

Wow, where do I begin with Ringer? Do I start with Sarah Michelle Gellar's deliciously (but also, boringly) hammy double performance as Siobhan / Bridget? Do I mention the constant, beat-you-over-the-head-with-the-symbolism use of mirrors to show the duplicity in people? Do I point out the dialogue that, as Brigitte says, "writes itself?" How about that ridiculously hilarious looking green screen action that wouldn't feel out of place in a film by Tommy Wiseau?

I think all of those items are what potentially makes Ringer one of the first shows that I can think of that I want to watch on a weekly basis to fulfill my Bad Movie quota that needs to be fulfilled. Don't get me wrong - this is a bad show, but like most bad movies I watch, is alternately unintentionally gut-busting and boring at the same time. Think The Lake House, where everything is boring for a long time and then Keanu Reeves has a huge sneeze out of nowhere. Sarah Michelle Gellar, please deliver me some moments like that. You have the built in advantage of the awesome(ly bad) scenes where there are two of you talking to each other in a really bland voice where you can only tell which one is which because Siobhan is hoity-toity and evil with her hair up while Bridget is down-to-earth and good (but for some reason decides the only way to cover up her twin sister's death is to start leading a double life? Huh?)

Grade: C+ (but also, A)

Parenthood
Tuesdays, 10/9c on NBC

Here are things I am happy about with regard to Parenthood's return:

1) The clear decision to abandon some of the things implied in the somewhat-disastrous season two finale (Crosby appearing to win back Jasmine with his new, crappy house to show that he's responsible.)
2) Adam going a little bit bonkers and sad without a job. Few play "normal on the surface, crazy on the inside" better than Peter Krause over the years, and the sequence where he was sitting at home by himself doing wacky stuff was delightful.
3) Haddie's lookin' hot!
4) Alex (Michael B. Jordan) looks like he'll be even more involved this season, which is great (even if it appears in the somewhat groan-worthy "he punched a dude at a party and now he's being arrested even though the cops didn't seem to bust any of the underage drinkers at the party" plot.)
5) Amber (Mae Whitman) also forgot about her car accident thing and now is back to a more plausible plotline, getting her own apartment. Letting Sarah (Lauren Graham) and Amber play off each other in the hip warehouse-style apartment was pretty wonderful.
6) The return of one of the few shows that gets Brigitte and I to get up and dance during the credits!
7) Joel and Julia, as usual, have a pretty stupid plotline with Julia wanting to "buy" the coffee girl's baby because she isn't keeping it (which, at first I guess I thought was implying she was gonna get an abortion, which seemed darker than the show needed to go, but now am just realizing "not keeping" could mean "giving up for adoption" as well. I'm trained much more for Misery Porn TV than Family Time TV.)

Welcome back, Parenthood.

Grade: A-

Blogulator Radio Episode 23: Pilot Talk

2011-09-12T18:00:00.000-05:00

In this week’s very special episode of Blogulator Radio (DOWNLOAD HERE), the Blogulator crew of Chris, Qualler and Brigitte is joined by The AV Club’s Carrie Raisler (@TVandDinners) to discuss the new Fall season on the networks (or, the ‘werkz, as the kids call them.) As it turns out, most of the new shows are in the “not so good” range, but Carrie informs the gang about the shows that are most good-TV-watching-ready of all. Hint: most of them are not on NBC, and especially not starring Whitney Cummings. It’s an episode completely devoted to the upcoming new slate of shows, and probably our most professional episode ever, so you better be impressed! Or, y’know, whatever.

Blogulator Radio is brought to you in part by Netflix, where you can stream your favorite TV and movies from your TV, computer, or many other devices as often as you want for just 7.99 a month. Start your free two week trial today and help support independent netcasting.

For up to the minute updates all up in your upness, be sure to subscribe to Blogulator Radio via iTunes or RSS.

Being a modern show for modern people, we’ve got all sorts of ways to find us online. We’ve got your Facebook and your Twitter, and you can followQualler on Twitter as well. Of course we always welcome comments or questions either in the comments below or through email atbradio@fancypantsgangsters.com.. We also invite you to check out our non-audio version at TheBlogulator.com for more than just TV talk.