Kids Today: Relationship Drama

I've had a difficult time getting into the new season of 16 and Pregnant, and yesterday I think I may have figured out why that is.

I still enjoy watching the show, for the most part. I thought maybe I was just bored with the concept--if you've seen the story of one teenage pregnancy, you've seen them all. But that can't be true, can it? Of course I assume that MTV picks a certain type to appear on this show. There has to be some drama, after all. I wouldn't really want to watch a show about a girl who got pregnant, decided to have an abortion/give the baby up for adoption/keep the baby and everything turned out OK, no major drama. The people who typically are cast for any MTV show are pretty high-drama people. But when I was watching Tuesday night's episode, I finally realized--it's not that I'm tired of watching the same type of teenage girl over and over. I'm tired of watching teenage girls stuck in what I would consider abusive relationships.

I realized that most of the drama on 16 and Pregnant has little to do with the pregnancy or even the young women's decisions to keep these babies. Most of the drama is generated from the terrible, horrible relationships that these girls are in. And if one watches these kinds of relationships portrayed on "reality" television over and over again, they become the norm.

Of course the girls' parents are not happy with the jerk boyfriend/baby daddies either. But more concerning to me are the attitudes displayed by the girls' friends, and the attitudes of the girls themselves who can't seem to see that these guys really are jerks and that they deserve better, baby or no baby. It was heartbreaking to watch Nikkole deal with her jerk of a boyfriend who treated her like crap even through her entire labor, painful to watch as Valerie (only 15 years old and pregnant) received a message from her boyfriend saying he wanted nothing to do with her...and this week's episode was the worst yet. I wish the show would take more time to deal with, not only the fact that these girls are having babies, but that these kinds of relationships are not OK.

Another reason that these relationships have me upset: these girls are all way cuter than the guys they are with. Way cuter. So you're dating a douche bag and he's not even very good looking?? Dump that sh**! He knocked you up and he still won't commit or treat you with respect? Your boyfriend, the uggo, gets upset and calls you a whore when you go out with your friends? But you want to make things work because of the baby??? It is NOT better for a kid to have a douce bag father than no father. That is a myth. Your babies will be better off with one parent who is actually mature enough to love another human being.

In this week's episode, our teen mom did eventually cut the bad news baby daddy out of her life, and I was happy about that. I'm not giving up on this season yet, and hopefully in the coming weeks MTV will show a little variety or at least address the fact that these guys are total jerk faces. I'm also a little tired of the fact that every girl this season has been a "party girl." Don't non crazy party girls sometimes end up pregnant, too?

Whew, sorry for the rant, blogosphere! In happier news, the newest cycle of America's Next Top Model began this week! Hooray! This cycle's theme is social networking. Each girl had to create a "My Fierce Page" and hope to "Friend" Tyra. If the girls' friend requests were not accepted, they were eliminated. Perez Hilton gueststarred because he won a bet that he made six months ago on the Tyra Show. Tyra said that if he could go six months without blogging about celebrities' kids then he could appear on an episode of ANTM. None of the girls stand out so far, but I'm sure I'll come to love and hate them as the cycle continues.

Oscars Live Blog!

It's that time of the year again, friends. It's that time when we gather all our friends, movie nerds and non-movie nerds, together, in one room, to watch the Academy Awards. This involves drinking movie-themed drinks, like Chris's Avatar-themed margaritas, Avatar-themed Jones Soda cans, and more. This also involves making fun of the constant JCPenney commercials that always seem to dominate the awards. Seriously, JCPenney, peace signs in your logos are soooo 1998.

We did a lot of live-tweetin' of the Oscars last night (at least until the laptop battery went haywire) so you can find most of the room's Oscar-related thoughts here (twitter.com/theblogulator) but here are some general impressions:

• Hooray for a non-Avatar-related sweep. Longtime Blogulator commenter Papa Thor will be happy that it didn't win because so many different sci-fi writers could have written the screenplay to make it better.
• The hosts in general, Alec Baldwin and Steve Martin were pretty m'eh.
• That break-dancing-to-musical-scores thing? Out of control! What! Were! They! Thinking!
• Peter Saarsgard's speech introducing Carey Mulligan by saying "Carey Mulligan!" in the CREEPIEST VOICE EVER was pretty weird.
• Man, I really need to see, like, all of the movies nominated this year. I watch way too much TV. (On that note, what was HBO thinking scheduling Big Love's season finale on Oscar night? Then again, what was Big Love thinking, like, at all this season? Maybe the reason they only got nine episodes was because HBO wanted it to be over sooner. Just a thought.)

What did you all think?

Television Rundown: This Blog Post Needs a Facelift! And Other Things, In General

Last night brought us the 100th, and final, episode of one of the best examples of why television dramas should always have end dates. Yes, Nip/Tuck technically died exactly after The Carver sliced Christian Troy at the end of season two. Actually, a better series finale would have been the aforementioned season two episode "Rose and Raven Rosenberg". And while the finale wasn't the total trainwreck the series was had been at times after the second season (wait, why did I keep watching?), it was in some ways a more modest version of that episode. This final season did have a few very nice moments, but in general it was OK to see it finally go bye-bye, despite there not really being anything else on TV that has the same feel to it (other than Ryan Murphy's new show, Glee, which, if it goes Bigger and Badder as quickly as Nip/Tuck did, is definitely doomed to fizzle out quickly...) It will be nice to save room on the DVR for the following current and future series...

Parenthood: What if Brigitte (out of commission tonight, feel better, babydoll!) created Fan Fiction as her thesis to her upcoming Ph.D. program? It might come out a little bit like Parenthood, the new NBC series based on the 1989 movie with Steve Martin, Rick Moranis, Dianne Wiest, and a plethora of other "hey, I know that person" people. So, Brigitte's fan fiction is like, totally "Gilmore Girls meets the Handsome, Not Gay Brother of the Fischer Family of Six Feet Under" seeing that the two leads are Lauren Graham and Peter Krause. Also, with the other stars in the show, Brigitte could say that it's kind of a mash-up of Gilmore Girls, Six Feet Under, Coach, Arrested Development, Patch Adams, Punk'd, the movie Swimfan, (Graham, Krause, Craig T. Nelson, Mae Whitman ("Anne" from ArrDev), Monica Potter, Dax Shephard, Erika Christensen), mixed with a garnish of The Family Stone minus the unbearable We're-So-Accepting-Of-Others vibe of that movie and a dollop of grown-up heartstring-pulling that doesn't feel too cloying (yet). All of which is a really long-winded way of saying, this is a show that is pretty much impossible not to like. Welcome to the DVR archives, Parenthood.

The Life and Times of Tim: I'm doing something on The Blogutwitter (pimpin' our Twitter feed: twitter.com/theblogulator ... also see the sidebar down on the right) lately -- posting my fave quotes from the latest episodes of the new season of HBO's increasingly hilarious The Life and Times of Tim. It took me the whole first season to truly decide I liked this, then marinated over the year and a half it took to get a new season going, but Tim's world is getting to be pretty, pretty hilarious. "I'm Aimee with two E's and TWO DOUBLE D'S!!!" "The sin is in the meat." "W..T..Fuck?" Also anything The Boss says to Tim is hilarious. By all accounts the ratings to this series are not great, and not that HBO necessarily gives a crap about ratings, but the "save this show" formula is somewhere in "Ratings + Critical Acclaim + Buzz - Cost", so please do your part to keep that formula strong. Also here's the first episode of the new season below:

Lost: Duh.

And, some series coming soon...

Justified (FX): I already have a pretty big mancrush on Timothy Olyphant, almost so much so that I would have gone to see The Crazies and probably convinced Chris to drag along with me, despite his low "Will I See It?" percentage from last month. So, when it came out that Olyphant was gonna star on a new show from FX, aka Lifetime For Dudes, based on an Elmore Leonard short story and he was GOING TO WEAR A COWBOY HAT AND DO THE SETH BULLOCK WALK IN THE MODERN TIMES...well, you got me there, FX. And even better news -- respected TV bloggers Alan Sepinwall and Jace Lacob have already supplied their praises. Yep, I'm there. (Tuesday, March 16, 9 pm CST.)

The Pacific: The last time I tried getting The Blogulator + More Friends together to watch a historical epic HBO miniseries was their John Adams miniseries, in which I served meatloaf and mashed potatoes and Jerksica, Lady Amy, and Brigitte all thought it would be more fun to sing songs from the musical 1776 than to pay attention to the stirring dialogue and historically accurate costumes worn by Paul Giammati and Laura Linney, and naturally that didn't work out so well cuz I was the only one still watching at the end. The Pacific, however, I feel, will be a different story. Those who have no interest have already opted out of watching it at our place, and the previews for this one seem to suggest it will be less of a snoozefest than the aforementioned Adams (hey! I like snoozefests like that!) And we're gonna be pairing this with the other 10-part HBO miniseries Band of Brothers, calling our 10-week excursion War-Torn Sundays. TV Guide critic, in an exclusive conversation conducted via Twitter, suggested that The Blogulator "Bring aspirin". It's gonna be a paaaar-tay.

And finally...: HBO has greenlit one show and cast for another show that leave me feeling very, very excited. Game of Thrones has been greenlit to series, based on the fantasy Song of Fire and Ice book series that Little Qualler (LQ) keeps telling me to read. Considering I've not read a good old fashioned book series like that since The Dark Tower, it's next on my to-read list (after Blogulator friend Anna Jarzab's All Unquiet Things, natch) I'm definitely gonna read that and then enjoy the ess out of the TV series. And, Luck, the new David Milch (Deadwood, NYPD Blue, Philly) series about horserace gambling, has a new leading man, Dustin Hoffman, and a second banana, Dennis Farina. Oh man, hearing them walk around on horseracing tracks and using the word "fuck" 142 times per episode is going to be absolutely beautiful.

Cable Television Rundown: Big Love? Tetherball? Really?

Yeesh, where do I begin, Big Love?

One, nine episodes of a season for a show that has previously existed on 12 in the first two seasons, then 10 in the third season, is just way too condensed. Obviously, this season has been rushed (and, frankly, last year felt as rushed at times), and as a result, there are about 10 million plots in the air at one time. Last week's episode, "Blood Atonement" haphazardly brought to a conclusion the bizarre saga of Frank, Lois, a bunch of birds, Kathy Marquart's twin sister, ultimately Ben, the Hollis Green clan, Mexico, and Bill/Joey coming to the rescue, which culminated in Lois chopping Hollis's arm off. If that sounds like something from a show not like the show you know Big Love to be...well, you are correct. In the end, Ben, Bill, and gang all came home, told everyone what happened, they showed them all hugging for about 20 seconds, and all was well. So, what was the point?

Another "what's the point" moment was Sarah Hendrickson's final episode last night, "Next Ticket Out". Last season, the much lauded episode "Come, Ye Saints" pulled everything that is great about the show together by deftly balancing the comedy of the Hendrickson family, their search for meaning in their religion, sadness and secrets, and ultimately, catharsis. And Sarah was the center of that episode, culminating in that memorable scene where the whole family pulled over to watch the sunset and comfort her after losing her baby. Of course, last night, being that Amanda Seyfried has decided to move on from the series to pursue films like Dear John (hey Brigitte, you promised you'd take me on my birthday!), her character's exit from the show was, again, rushed through by explaining that she's moving to Portland with Scott, and a sort of awkward scene that, again, lasted about 30 seconds to show that Bill still loves her, despite everything, near the end of the episode. This, after a weirdly epic game of Tetherball played between Bill and Goran, Margene's new husband(!!!) ("in paper only"). Hey, that reminds me that Ana came back and is pregnant with Bill's baby. Meanwhile, Bill is running for Senate, partially because he wants to out his family as a morally strong polygamist mainstream family, has opened a casino, and (ostensibly) still runs his Home Plus store. Wow, I watch TV to escape the stresses of our lives' many commitments, but when I watch Big Love this season, I just get anxious.

The one plot, though, that has paid dividends, is the one with Alby and the UEB trustee who committed suicide a couple episodes ago. This season, Alby has been revealed to be much more sympathetic than he has ever been. Last night's strongest scene, though, featured Alby pushing Nicki away from him, while the ghost of his father taunted him. It was very Anakin Skywalker Turning Into Darth Vader, minus the atrocious dialogue penned by George Lucas.

Still, this season has mostly been dizzying and, unlike last season where there was real emotional resonance behind the dizzying plot twists, this season has just left me exhausted.

Kids Today: Same old, Same old

Greetings! The thing we've been waiting for has finally arrived: the second season of 16 and Pregnant started...and I missed it! Where have I been? I've been a devout watcher of Teen Mom, and I was really looking forward to the new season of 16 and Pregnant, and then I just completely forgot about it until I was channel surfing last night after LOST and happened upon some back-to-back rerun episodes of the new season. There have already been two new episodes. I feel like such a bad television viewer.
Image courtesy MTV.com, where you can watch full episodes.

I tried to watch one episode last night, and I found my interest quickly waning. The girls seemed the same as last season, the boyfriends were still total douche bags, and the parents were...less than supportive. Maybe I was just mentally tired after watching LOST and couldn't get into it. Or maybe...if you've seen one season of 16 and Pregnant, you've seen them all.

I'm not ready to give up on this show yet. I'm going to watch some on Saturday morning while I eat my breakfast and get ready to start my day. The series really seems appropriate for a Saturday morning program (a little light entertainment...nothing life changing like, you know, childbirth or anything).

I'll report back next week with a better review. Hopefully a little distance from Jack, Kate, and the gang will put me in the correct frame of mind to watch teenage girls become mothers. I'll be more sympathetic and emotionally involved when I'm not thinking "Oh, boo hoo, you're having a baby. At least you aren't on a crazy island, and there are no Others waiting to steal the baby once he's born (or are there?)." I'm starting to think that nothing can really follow LOST. I need to spend the rest of the night in silence, contemplating what I think I know about my own existence.

Or else spend the evening reading Sweet Little Lies: An L.A. Candy Novel!! So far, much like in the last book, nothing has happened. I'll let you know when something does.

Speaking of nothing happening: I've heard a few complaints (very few, that stick out from the mostly rave reviews) regarding my Avatar fan fiction. Some of you have said that "nothing has happened yet." To which I say: doi. Did anything happen during the entire movie? And you loved it! Keep reading in the hopes that something does, someday, happen.

Kids Today: A Book Review

Hey blog readers! Some time ago I promised a review of Lauren Conrad’s debut novel L.A. Candy, which tells the tale of a young naïve blond girl (not Lauren) who moves to L.A. to pursue her career and ends up the star of a hit reality series (not The Hills).

Qualler and I took turns (and by took turns I mean I did it one time) reading this book aloud to each other before falling asleep. And if you need something to put you to sleep, this is definitely the book. It felt like falling asleep to another boring episode of The Hills (and I mean that in the best way possible).

This was indeed a great book to fall asleep to, and it was fun to hear it read aloud and imagine Lauren--er--Jane in all her L.A. situations. However, that's about as much as I can say for the book's virtues. The very art of storytelling seems to be lost in overly detailed descriptions of what people are wearing and how attractive someone is. Much like the show that this book is in no way directly based on, nothing really happens, but all the description sort of steps in where all the production happens in the show in order to trick the viewer/reader into thinking that something happened. And with each chapter, just as with each episode, the reader/viewer things that something is just about to happen...but it never really does.

I am a complex person. I do not understand why I enjoy certain things. I think for me certain forms of entertainment reach me in an almost sub (or pre) conscious sort of way. And so, Qualler and I have begun reading the second book in her (at least three book) series, Sweet Little Lies: An L.A. Candy Novel. It picks up right where the last book left off and provides quite a bit of recap, just like the each new episode of The Hills. Because, why trust the viewer/reader?

And now, some Avatar fan fiction. (Editor's note: James Cameron better be taking some tips from Brigitte when he undertakes his planned Avatar prequel novel.)

Jake did feel better knowing that someone who really knew Pandora, someone like Tsu’Tey, would know what the next steps had to be. He wanted to feel like things would only get better from here, and he wanted to know that Tsu’Tey was on his side now…but Jake never really liked him. From the time they first met, Tsu’Tey had been difficult and unwelcoming. And the fact that Jake stole his girl didn’t really help things, either. However, when push came to shove and Jake needed cooperation to save the Na’vi people from complete destruction, Tsu’Tey had put his hurt feelings aside to help. But could he be counted on again?

Jake Sully knew from experience that in times of war, men could always put aside their differences and unite against a common enemy. But now that the war had ended and the immediate danger of that common enemy was gone, would Tsu'Tey make Jake his enemy once again? Jake eyed him. He was surrounded by a group of about 20 men, and he was giving orders and dividing up jobs. The men hung on his every word, and Jake began to worry. Would Tsu'Tey be his second in command or would he go back to being his greatest rival? The people were grateful that Jake had helped so much during the war, but perhaps they would forget his heroic acts now that the war had ended. Perhaps he would go back to being the outsider he once was. Jake knew that he had come to Pandora, not by mistake, but in order to lead these people through a very difficult time. But would the people be as sure as Jake was about his place among them?

Jake’s worries were interrupted by a hand on his shoulder. He turned to see Neytiri, searching his worried eyes with her own. She seemed to know exactly what he was thinking. “Don’t worry, Jake,” she said to him in a low voice. “Tsu’Tey will do what is right for his people. And he knows now that you are right—that you are the true leader. He respects you now.”

Jake feigned a small smile. He was glad that Neytiri believed in him once again, but it would take a bit more time before he could really trust himself. He still felt at least in part responsible for the war beginning in the first place. He glanced over at Tsu’Tey, who was now standing alone after sending his men on their various missions. Tsu’Tey must have felt his glance, for he suddenly returned it, and as their eyes met Jake once again saw the anger and fear in Tsu’Tey’s eyes. He shivered, and quickly looked away.

Network Television Rundown (Oh And One HBO Show - Deal With It Qualler!)

In the beloved tradition of Qualler's semi-regular Cable Television Rundown feature, I present to you a rare treat: thoughts on new television shows from yours truly! Now I considered coming up with some grand hilarious metaphor for each show like Qualler's become so skilled at doing, but I don't want to step on his toes toooo much, so I'm trying something else. Now the latest batch of (scripted - I'll leave the reality TV talk to Brigitte and Lady Amy) network mid-season programming is by and large forgettable, as it usually is, while also predictable to the point of triteness is that the new HBO show How To Make It In America, which premiered Sunday night, is a distinct cut above your average commoner-enticing commercial-laden idiot box content. In an attempt to show how easy it would be for network heads to turn their lame attempts at obtaining new viewers by making their programming just a little more intelligent, I will be reviewing the first three shows as if they were designed for HBO and How To Make It In America as if it were another bumbling half-hour sitcom on CBS, FOX, NBC, or ABC.

The Deep End: Featuring the criminally underrated character actor Billy Zane as head partner of a morally ambiguous law firm, the new spring drama follows four fresh-faced first year lawyers, including Big Love's Tina Majorino, as they dive into cases defending various known Los Angeles kingpin gangsters. Suspicious of the firm's backdoor dealings and public corruption charges, the rookies attempt to put aside their own problems (law school-inspired alcoholism, workaholic-inspired divorce) and band together to figure out the real agenda for the case, which sprawls and unfolds over the course of the first season. With taut suspense and no soap opera theatrics, The Deep End is sure to be the first original lawyer-themed drama in years: an exciting combination of Damages and The Wire. [Sad Reality Sets In: It's actually just another lame ABC attempt at combining the glossy quirk of Boston Legal and hot bod 20-something attraction of Melrose Place, all in boring self-contained format.]

Human Target: Harking back to the first two seasons of 24, but with the no-holds-barred B-movie grittiness of late-70s revenge flicks, television mainstay Mark Valley stars as Christopher Chance, a mysterious man who works as his own security team. With a little help from two venerable sidekicks played with scenery-chewing aplomb by Chi McBride and Jackie Earle Haley, the trio stakes Chance out in high-stakes scenarios, aiming to lure out and catch terrorists, murderers, rapists, and more as he acts as a block of cheese in a mouse trap for his high-paying clients. Self-aware humor is sprinkled delightfully throughout the post-noir suspense series. After a couple enjoyable self-contained eps to get the ball rolling, Human Target really hits its stride when Chance finds himself embroiled in an ongoing battle with "The Onlooker", an embittered rival that looks to take down Chance and his team over a dense nine-episode story arc with plot twists, clues as to the identity of "The Onlooker" and only minor love story distractions. [Sad Reality Sets In: It's a hokey one-note action series with too many chase sequences and hand-to-hand combat battles.]

Past Life: Finally topping Fringe as the paranormal show du jour is Past Life, a show whose ridonkulous premise is handled so delicately and emotionally that one can't help but get wrapped up in its ongoing Lynchian mystery. Nicholas Bishop plays Detective Price Whatley, a modern day Agent Dale Cooper, who's (after a shady past) been forcefully enrolled in the search for a killer in rural upstate New York. What he really didn't sign up for though is his partner Kate McGinn, the town's resident new age-believing sheriff, who guides him through the strange town's cast of characters, including her deputy (played with stoic perfection by The West Wing's Richard Schiff) and the show's subject in question: a spooked teenage boy named Noah who claims he remembers being murdered. Together, Whatley, McGinn, and Deputy Talmadge work together to solve the X-Files-esque mystery by the end of the first mind-bending season. [Sad Reality Sets In: It's Fringe, except with weekly reincarnation mysteries to be solved by the two most generic lead actors you could ever imagine.]

How To Make It In America: What a waste of time. Completely unsympathetic twenty-something characters mope around New York City and we're supposed to be laughing at it? At least that's what the laugh track suggests. They're trying to become entrepreneurs of some kind, I guess, but it seems the real focus is how the group of friends all end up sleeping with each others' ex and current significant others. There's no style as it's all shot like every city-centered half-hour sitcom, and the principals are all culled together from American Apparel ads and former failed dramas. There's even a rapper as one of the friends to show that it can be "multicultural." [Relieving Reality Sets In: It has almost none of the self-loving/loathing swagger of Entourage and the alternately realistic and stylistic directing puts the viewer directly into modern day NYC. The characters are aimless and lost, both idiotic and vulnerable, and the pilot ep makes me want to journey through their wandering with them as they try to find their footing in life as post-college nobodies in a city that eats people like them for breakfast everyday.]

Television Rundown: Crushing Under The Weight of Parallel Universes

The line between serial television drama and the sporting events that fill many minutes of my life is indeed a thin line. Two weeks ago, in the midst of dealing with the immediate trauma of seeing my beloved Minnesota Vikings get so damn close to making it to the Super Bowl for the first time in my lifetime and the first time in 33 years only to be denied the invitation in a you-can't-make-this-up fashion that Vikings fans seem to think can only happen to them (although Bill Simmons of ESPN comfortingly shows fans like me the reasons why that's just not true in this ultimately cathartic column), I wrote about how Margene from Big Love ultimately helped me get over their crushing loss. Two weeks later, I watched the actual Super Bowl, and realized that I still had repressed anger and sadness over the Vikings and, ultimately my, loss.

But serialized television has, if not completely healed, then, partially healed those wounds, especially with last week's (final) season premiere of Lost. I may be relatively new to the world of Lost, but the season premiere was nothing short of mind-bending, action-packed, and a helluva lot of fun. And it got me thinking, naturally, about the theories of parallel universes. In a parallel universe, Minnesotans were celebrating on Hennepin Avenue on Sunday night, Brett Favre announced his "real" retirement, Joe Mauer signed a 12-year contract, the groundhog did not see his shadow, and Minneapolis inherited the climate of San Diego, CA. Thanks, Lost, for opening up the possibilities.

So, along those lines, here is the status of the five recently premiering shows that I'm obsessing about, as compared to the alternate reality in which the Vikings didn't totally flop.

An Alternate Dimension In Which The Vikings Beat The Saints in the NFC Championship = Lost

Note: please see #87 running to the sideline for the Vikings, wide open. In the alternate reality, Brett threw it to him, he ran for another 3 yards, and Ryan Longwell hit a 45 yard field goal to put the Vikings in their first Super Bowl in 33 years. So, assuming that happened, the crushing, long-lingering feeling of disappointment didn't happen, and the party at our place two weeks ago ended thrillingly, with great joy amongst the people. That, friends, is how great the season premiere of Lost was last week. The opening scene, finding our heroes in a "flash-sideways" type of situation filled me with the long-sustaining joy that I can only imagine a Super Bowl win for our Vikings would have made me fee. Of course, assuming there truly are two worlds going on, perhaps in a dfferent universe the Vikings did win. Oh well...

Second-year Cornerback for the New Orleans Saints Tracy Porter, Again, Ruining A Potentially Huge Drive For The Opposing Team By Intercepting A Key Pass

Both of these shows,Damages and Big Love, have occasionally left me in a lull. For Damages, it was the entire second season, which meandered into plot twist after plot twist without actually making me care at all, a shame because of its breathtaking first season. For Big Love, it was the first few episodes of the newest season, which whipped through seven or eight episodes of plot in a condensed three episodes (for shame, HBO, for cutting the episode order of this season down to nine!) But then, much like a Tracy Porter interception that killed any hope at winning (like the NFC Championship) or tying the game (like the Super Bowl), sudden and welcomed momentum shifts took place. Big Love found its footing in the heartbreaking fourth episode "The Mighty and the Strong", which culminated with Bill Hendrickson giving his son the boot, and the season premiere of the third season of Damages, which brought the Grisham-on-crack vibe of the first season back with a bullet. And its stronger focus on Tate Donovan is a nice change. Which reminds me...

The Animated Half-Hour Sitcom Version of Damages Co-Star Tate Donovan...

is FX's new Archer. Sure, I much prefer Adam Reed's animated work on the Cartoon Network, most notably his Sealab 2021. And it's a little weird to hear the voice of H. Jon Benjamin as a handsome secret agent when I've mostly heard him as the hilariously sweaty and disgusting gym teacher in Home Movies. But, like Damages / The OC co-star Tate Donovan, Archer is, what I would call, a "capable" series. It's not gonna win any awards, nor will it be as prestigious as, say, the Glenn Close of animation (The Simpsons), or as under the radar as the Rose Byrne of animation (The Life and Times of Tim, which, as a side note, I'm really excited for its return!) but it'll do the trick, much like a Tom Shays / Jimmy Cooper rant about how he lost all his money in his investments or whatever.

That Unbelievably Corny New Ad For the Twins New Ballpark

I don't really have a TV show equivalent here, but I just wanted to highlight how embarrassingly bad this ad, which aired on Super Bowl Sunday, truly is. Seriously, if you ever wanted to know why the rest of America thinks of Minnesota as flyover country, just look at this commercial.

The (Kinda Existential) Realization That, Even If The Vikings Had Made It To The Big Game (In Our Reality, Not The Alternate Reality), The Exciting Journey Would Still Be Over Right Now

Sadly, though, Nip/Tuck seems to be the reflection that, even if the Vikings had made it to the Super Bowl and won, we would still today be February 11, and the season would be over, and we'd all move on with our lives. Okay, so the "final nine" episodes of Nip/Tuck truly are amongst their better hours and, while not quite living up to the heights of the first two seasons, are a reminder of what's past and what will soon be left behind. Face it, there's absolutely no buzz surrounding these last episodes, which seems to me to be a shame. The opening episode of the final nine, written and directed by series creator Ryan Murphy, was a succinct retelling of the show's initial mission statement, all on the vanity and subsequent attempts at redemption of the human spirit. Yet, in just a few short weeks, the final episode will air, and Ryan Murphy's only contribution to the television landscape will be Fox's Glee, which, based on recent casting news, seems headed toward the inevitable fizzle-out that Nip/Tuck faced after its slam-bang first two seasons. Yes, like that 2009 NFL season for the Minnesota Vikings, everything you love some day ends. Sometimes, those things are over even while they appear to be still living, like Nip/Tuck.

Fan Mail!

Hello readers,

I think it's about time that I take a look into my fan mail bag and answer some of your letters. Here's one from Stephanie K. of Richmond, VA. Stephanie writes:

Dear Brigitte,
Hi! Long time reader, first time writer. I love your reviews of MTV reality shows, and I especially loved your write up of 16 and Pregnant. I was just wondering--have you been watching the follow up show, Teen Mom? They just had their season finale special last night with Dr. Drew (I love him!). I've been reading every week and I keep waiting for you to blog about this series, but I haven't seen anything in your blog posts about Teen Mom (at least not for a long time) and I was just wondering: do you watch the show? What's your take on it? Do you think it's really helping any kids by showing the grim reality of raising a baby as a teenager, or do you think it's in some ways glamorizing teenage pregnancy? Or is it just exploitative of these young girls? Personally I'm a fan, but I'd love to hear your take.
Sincerely,
Stephanie

Thanks for the letter Stephanie. Yes, I do watch Teen Mom--in fact it's one of the few shows that I've been watching regularly as it airs each week. I know, it's been awhile since I've written about this series, and I apologize. I've been so absorbed in my Avatar craze that I haven't had time for much of anything in my life. In fact, I've recently sunk into a deep depression because I will never experience living in Pandora. It's so beautiful...why was I created never to experience such beauty! Damn you, James Cameron. I've only recently stopped attending the "It's OK that I'll never experience the Titanic's maiden voyage and tragic shipwreck" support group, and now this! I was depressed enough when the I came down from the high of watching Titanic and settled back into my own bleak, pointless reality.

After first seeing Titanic back in 1997, I knew that my day to day life would never be as compelling or as tragically romantic as the love that existed between Rose and Jack. I knew that I would never face something as historically significant as those passengers aboard the Titanic did that cold, dark night. I knew I'd never feel the icy water surrounding an iceburg. The only thing that made me feel again was watching Titanic, over and over. I began to neglect my family, friends, school...and after awhile, even watching the movie wasn't enough. I would take pour bags of ice into my parents bathtub and sit in the icy cold water until my mom wondered what was taking me so long in the bathroom and I ended up in the emergency room. I would dress in turn of the century clothes and a life vest, but still it wasn't enough. I never thought I'd be able to experience beauty in my own life after viewing something as awesome as Titanic. But time passed, I got involved in a good support group and started seeing a therapist twice a week, and slowly, things got better. Little by little, the world around me began to come alive once again. I began to date real men instead of just writing letter after old fashioned letter to Jack, assuring him in each that I would never let go. I did let go, however, and I was making real progress. And then Avatar came along.

I knew I shouldn't go see it. I didn't want to. I figured that I already knew the plot, the characters would be one-dimensional and predictable, and really, 3+ hours seemed like a long time to sit in a movie theater.

Oh, how wrong I was.

I could have sat in that theater for 33 hours, until I finally lept from my seat into the magical world of Pandora. And now I find myself in a predicament very similar to the one I was left in so many years ago. Why, James Cameron, Why?! I was just moving on with my life!

I'm sorry...what was the question? Oh yes, Teen Mom. Well, I don't think it's necessarily making teenage pregnancy seem glamorous. I think that the series certainly tries to show how difficult being a teen mom really is, and how many sacrifices these young people have had to make. As to whether or not this series is making any strides in preventing teenage pregnancy...who knows. Probably not. Is the show exploitative? Does a Na'vi average three meters in hight and chose a mate for life? I think that answers your question.

Stay tuned for more fan fiction next week. I was just too depressed to write any this week, but I promise that my next post will be entirely devoted to my fan fiction...one of the few things that gets me out of bed in the morning.

[Ed. note -- the pseudo-exploitation will continue next Summer, as MTV has announced Teen Mom has been renewed for a second season! Also, Bentley is the cutest baby ever.]

Ad It Up: Snack Attack

What is chewy and shriveled, loved by the elderly, and may or may not be the secret ingredient in Dr. Pepper?

Give up?

PRUNES! Of course.

Yes, prunes are the magical wrinkly fruit that have been keeping old people regular for decades...so you may ask what they have to do with pop culture. Well, it seems that the prune industry is facing a bit of a problem. Unlike the very forward-thinking raisin industry, prune retailers never really came up with a catchy gimmick to keep the young people interested in their product. Both raisins and prunes act similarly as laxatives and sources of fiber, but prunes have complacently stood by their reputation for easing poops as their younger, hipper cousins captured the Rock and Roll generation, forming the only known all-dried fruit band to date:



So how does the prune industry bounce back from their pigeon-holed reputation of being ambrosia for constipated grandmas? Clearly the problem is with the packaging. I can't even count the number of times I've said to myself, "Gee, I could really go for a prune right now but there are just too many in a package. Only old people shop in bulk. I would totally eat prunes all the time if only they were individually wrapped!" And the prune industry heard my plea...

Announcing individually wrapped prunes! Or "Sunsweet Ones," if you'd prefer. They kinda look like a dark-colored condom with "Sunsweet" where I would expect to read "Trojan," but they come in a canister instead of a bag, which is way more appealing to the youth. Plus, all that extra plastic being unnecessarily used for something that I'd probably eat multiples of anyway makes me feel like I'm getting some kind of special treatment in every bite. The best part is, a serving of prunes is actually four prunes:
So really, individually wrapping them makes so very little sense. Even the ad campaign is weak. You are never going to be cool, prunes!! Wake up and smell the coffee.



If prunes want to reinvent themselves, that's fine. But I guess I just don't get what is supposed to be more appealing about single-packaged prunes. Dried fruit will always be a tough sell, but at least try to make it look cool. Do I want a snack that tastes good or one that sings to me and makes the other snacks scared to death? That's definitely a toss-up. But do I want a snack that tastes good or one that is really good for my digestive system and conveniently packaged in singles? Meh...

RIP JD

I, DoktorPeace, don't have much to say on JD Salinger, but here's what I think the best* American novelist would say about him:

My name is Mark Twain. Who? JD Salinger? Yes I suppose I'll have one, but make it with lime, and don't give me one of those pansy umbrellas. Had one in a drink out on the Sandwich Islands and damn near poked my eye out.

Huh? He's gonna be born 9 years after I die? And he's going to write a book that rivals my Adventures of Huckleberry Finn for most school and library bannings? Well good on him, then. Most lousy Americans wouldn't know controversy if it sneaked up and poked them in the eye. Like a miniature umbrella. But you knew I was going there... Whatever. I'm old. Leave me be.

That's all, and I take it all back because I don't want to put words about one legend in another legend's mouth.

I'll leave this one to the experts.

Kids Today: A Review, and some Fan Fiction

Well, readers, The Pregnancy Pact came and went, and apparently it totally killed in the ratings. I give it a solid B, but I'm judging it against other movies of its type. Were I to judge it against all other films, it would probably receive a C. It was entertaining, in a ridiculous sort of way. However, I was confused by the characters and their motivations. At first it seemed as if some of the girls were getting pregnant on purpose, but not our main character. However, we later discover that she, too, got pregnant on purpose.

Another weakness, for me, was that the movie began after the pregnancy pact was already underway. It didn't really get into the background of the girls, or what led them to make the ridiculous decision to all get pregnant together. It also didn't establish what the girls were like, and what the school was like, before the pregnancy pact. And really, I already knew this by watching the news, so I was hoping the writers would provide me with some fictionalized background to make the story more meaningful and the characters more human.

One theory I had heard about the infamous pregnancy pact scandal was that the school made up the pact to cover up the fact that students were getting pregnant at an alarming rate due to a lack of sex education. There were certain times in the movie when it did seem like maybe the pact was made up, but then the girls confess to it and we get to see in flash-back style when they all decided to have babies together because it would be so totally fun to dress them in cute little clothes. Again, I would like for the characters to be something more than dumb girls who got pregnant simply because they thought it would be fun.

Another frustration with the film was Thora Birch's character, who was a successful (???) blogger, which of course meant she had a video blog and was a reporter.

Now, here's more Avatar fan fiction:

Jake turned to face his people. His eyes scanned their desperate faces, and their eyes met his, hopeful. He took a deep breath, and began to speak as Neytiri translated.

"My friends," he began, "we have been through a great trial. We have seen our home nearly destroyed; we have witnessed the kind of corruption and evil that exists all around us. We have lost our friends, or family, our children. We are bruised, but we are not broken. We have survived, and we will continue to survive. We will protect our home and each other. We will rebuild and allow Pandora to heal her wounds, and we will move together into the future."

Neytiri smiled at him as she finished her translation. He offered a weak smile back to her. He had heard almost the same speech once during his days as a marine. He thought it was appropriate, and he really wasn't much for public speaking, so he knew he could never come up with anything that inspirational on his own. But when Neytiri smiled at him, and he heard the slow rumble of applause and cheers coming from the people he was supposed to lead, he felt a twinge of regret that he had not come up with those words himself.

He turned back towards the people and tried to shout over the comotion. "First we need to find a suitable place to live. We need shelter and we need food. We'll divide into groups." He glanced over at Tsu'Tey. He saw the anger and fear in Tsu'Tey's eyes. The fear frightened him.

"Tsu'Tey will give out assignments and directions for each group. We must begin the rebuilding today."

Upon hearing his name, Tsu'Tey jumped abit, as if drawn out of a daydream. He looked at Jake, but Jake could not read his eyes now. Tsu'Tey nodded, slightly, and began organizing the men and women into groups. Jake felt a bit of relief wash over him; with Tsu'Tey as his second in command, he knew that the people would feel more at ease. Who was he kidding? He would feel more at ease, too. He knew that this job was too big to tackle without someone who knew Pandora better than he did.

Ad it Up: The Not-So-Super Bowls

Sunday was a sad, sad day in Minnesota. For the first time in a long time, we Minnesotans actually thought we had a chance at making it to the Super Bowl. Alas, in overtime we lost the most important game of the season. But the game was not the only sad thing about Sunday, at least for me. Sunday was also the day I discovered the newest horrifying fast-food invention -- the concoction listed #1 below. In light of my new discovery and the upcoming Super Bowl, (a.k.a. the day of highest junk food consumption), I thought it was high time to take a look at the worst ideas in the fast-food industry. Here are five of the most disgusting fast food inventions that have crossed my path:

5) McDonald's McGriddle

The McGriddle is one of those products that looks so right on TV and on billboards. You just drool and think, "where have you been all my life?!" You dream about them in your sleep and curse yourself every day that you didn't wake up in time for McDonald's breakfast. Even after you try one and realize that syrup-infused pancakes don't make very good sandwhich ends because they get soggy both from the inside (from the syrup) and the outside (from the sausage grease), you still long for one. And when you realize that the perfect breakfast trifecta of maple syrup, egg, and sausage somehow does not taste that good together in this sandwich, you won't care the next day. You may leave completely unsatisfied every time you try one, but you will still want it. That, blogulettes, is the McGriddle.

4) KFC Famous Bowls

If I wanted all of my food mashed together in one big bowl, I would either dine with toddlers or my grandmother. I'm not quite at that point yet. Just because things go well together on the same plate, does not mean that you can just pile them on top of each other and call it a dish. That, my friend, is exactly what the KFC Bowls are. A big amalgamation of pretty much everything on the KFC menu. They only serve like 5 different things so I suppose it makes it pretty tough to come up with different combinations or ways to prepare chicken, potatoes, biscuits, and corn. Still, that is no excuse for this abomination.

3) Wendy's Triple Baconator

I like hamburgers. I like bacon. I love cheese. I'm not even a huge proponent of "moderation" when it comes to the fatty goodnesses that I love. But in the Wendy's Triple Baconator, I think I may have discovered my limits. More is not always better, much less if it's a leaning tower of meat. I'm not even sure how one fits that into one's mouth or how one's heart does not explode upon finishing one's weight in beef.

2) Dairy Queen's Pumpkin Pie Blizzard

Yes, I know. It does sound like a good idea. Plus, how can sweets go wrong? It's just a bunch of sugar and milk anyway, right? But in reality, pumpkin pie -- not that great blended up and frozen. Actually, pretty disgusting in Blizzard form. My dreams were shattered on this one when DQ featured it as the Blizzard of the month for the first time several years ago. I, being extremely susceptible to the power of advertising - especially when there are pictures of food - jumped at the opportunity to try out what I believed would be a sort of pumpkin pie-flavored cookie dough ice cream. After my first bite of rock-hard pie crust with mild hints of pumpkin-minus-the-pie flavor, I realized that it had been too good to be true.

1) McDonald's Big Mac Snack Wraps

It's the latest, and perhaps most saddening, addition to the McMenu. Either some kids got high on their late night shift in the McDonald's kitchen and slapped together some munchies out of that day's leftovers or it happened to be "take a recent divorcee to work day." Those are pretty much the only two circumstances in which I can figure an idea like this comes to fruition. Not only does the idea of a half all-beef patty with special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, inside a tortilla gross me out, it totally messes up the song! But in all seriousness, according to this guy's blog, this is what the inside of a real Snack Mac looks like:

Bon appetit!

I'm Back!

Hey fans! It's been awhile since we've corresponded. I've missed you, too! No, I've missed YOU more! No, I've missed...OK enough of that. Let's get down to business.

What's new in Brigitte's life of pop culture? I'm glad you asked. Make it or Break it and Secret Life of the American Teenager are now back with new seasons (does it count as a new season if the last one ended in the fall? Can seasons just start and stop whenever networks want?). SLAT is still totally unwatchable. Sadly, Make it or Break it has become less watchable, too. After only a few weeks, I've already lost interest. I'm not sure what has changed...maybe the lives of young gymnasts only really holds my interest over a summer. Now that the premise of the show has lost its novelty, I'm not sure that there is enough to keep the audience (read: me) interested. I'll give it a couple more weeks, but what I really need is Gossip Girl to return and save my Monday nights.

Remember that pregnancy pact scandal that happened way back in 2008, when 9 high school girls got pregnant at the same time in the small town of Gloucester, MA? Well, Lifetime does! And now it's been turned into a movie, appropriately (if not creatively) titled Pregnancy Pact. It airs this Saturday, and I have moderate expectations. Look for a review next week.

Qualler and I got a PS3 for Christmas, which means we have a blu-ray player! And we purchased our first blu-ray disc, Edward Scissorhands. This movie is one of the earliest theater-going memories I have. I saw it in theaters in 1990, at the tender age of 7. And boy was I freaked out. After two months of nightmares and a lot of reassurance that Johnny Depp did not, in fact, live in my closet, I moved on and tried to put the nightmarish experience out of my head. It wasn't until years later when I revisited this film as an adult that I really fell in love with it.

Like everyone else, I saw Avatar...and loved it! Or did I hate it? I'm not going to waste your time with a review, readers. What I will do, however, is write a bit of Avatar fan fiction with each blog post. Here's a little sneak peak:

After waking up in his new, alien body and surveying the landscape and people that had united to defeat the humans, Jake Sully embraced Neytiri. "We did it, Jakesoolly," she whispered, her beautiful eyes glistening. "We did it." He held her tighter, and sighed. "Yes," he said, "but there is still so much work to be done..."

Neytiri's eyes moved from Jake's kind, worried eyes to his handsome brow, then beyond him to the dying landscape. Yes, the war had ended, but will they survive what must come next?

"Hey," Jake whispered, lightly brushing Neytiri's face and stooping to meet her gaze. "It's going to be OK." She met his eyes and feigned a smile. He held her tighter. "I promise you," he said. "We can get through this." She knew that he meant it. She wanted to trust him; she knew that if anyone could lead her people through this difficult time, he could. She believed in him, but she was still afraid of what the future would hold for Pandora. Would this attack be the last? Would her people and her home move beyond survival and begin to thrive again?

"You need to say something, Jakesooly," she said, piercing his eyes with hers. "You must build their hope. You speak, and I will translate."

Jake nodded. He knew what he had to do. He had been a leader through war, and now he had to lead his people to peace and comfort. After the wave of relief which passed through the land after the last human left subsided, a new kind of fear had set in. He had to be even stronger for them now than ever before, and he knew what he had to say. He rose and turned to face the people--his people.

Stay tuned for more as the untold chapter of Avatar unfolds!

Top 10 TV Shows of 2009

2009 was an unbelievably great year in television. And although we could only pick ten (Hung, Dexter, and Modern Family are a few honorable mentions) we watched a lot of the said television. 2010 will certainly be good as well, but let's take this opportunity to honor the best of the best.



10. Party Down; Starz; Creators: John Enborn, Dan Etheridge, Paul Rudd, and Rob Thomas

Let's face it: we're all stuck in dead-end jobs that we hate, not doing the things we imagined ourselves doing when we were seven. (Most kids imagined they were the star baseball player, but I imagined I'd be the general manager of the baseball team, but that's just me.) Party Down, a first year sitcom, captures what we do with our lives when we're still dreaming of escaping those dead-end jobs. In this case, it's a witty group of pop culture-referencing out-of-work actors, and its funnier than any show on a network called Starz has any right being.

9. In Treatment; HBO; Creator: Hagai Levi

In Treatment suffered in its first season from College-Theater-Tryout-itis and, while ultimately saved by the superb work of Gabriel Byrne and Dianne Wiest, didn't pack the potent punch it could have. Come 2009's second season, and pretty much all of the issues facing the series in its first were wiped away. Of course it helps to have a completely perfect cast of patients for Byrne's Dr. Paul Weston to work with and, of course, learn about himself from. My favorite season two patient was April: young, occasionally hopeless, but ultimately a fighter. Oh, and this season actually managed to fit in the occasional laugh, saving it from the dreaded Over-Dramatic-itis.

8. Better Off Ted; ABC; Creator: Victor Fresco

Officially (at least in the mind of Chris and I) usurping 30 Rock as the preeminent single-cam network workplace comedy is the madcap, wacky, laugh-a-second Better Off Ted. What makes it better at this point in time? Maybe just fresher characters, more relatable targets for satire (the soulless corporation Veridian Dynamics is a funhouse mirror of all of our day-job workplaces), or the great work of the cast, especially Arrested Development's Portia de Rossi, who pretty much steals every scene she's ever in. Sadly this series is probably short lived, as its second season is currently being burned off by ABC before February sweeps.



7. It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia; FX; Creator: Rob McElhenney

What differentiates this sitcom from the current fray of single-camera laugh riots is this cast of characters is thoroughly unlikeable. And yet, the way the cast and the characters interact is a formula for hard laughs unlike any other show on TV. When they miss, they miss badly, but even when that happens, I always laugh very hard to this show.



6. True Blood; HBO; Creator: Alan Ball

This series upped the ante about as much as a show about sexy vampires in the Bayou possibly could in its second season. Remember when the first season's biggest drama for Tara was that her mom was a drinker? This year her biggest drama was being possessed by a Greek goddess' spell that caused her to participate in the town's nonstop orgies. Seriously, though, by fully embracing the ridiculousness of the series, by no longer straddling the line between "metaphor for real life" and "fun genre show", True Blood took off. It took off like Vampire Eric took off flying. So many WTF moments per episode -- the most since 24's heyday. Here's to hoping for even crazier stuff in the third season.



5. Big Love; HBO; Creators: Mark V. Olsen and Will Scheffer

Watching last night's season four premiere brought all the things about this series I love way back to the forefront. Bill Hendrikson's tenuous relationship with his three wives, the intense situations on the compound, and the interplay between all the kids is always pretty dramatic. But what I love the most is the relationship between Bill's wives, Barb, Nicki and Margene. In many ways, the three wives are the most quintessential family on television today.



4. Sons of Anarchy; FX; Creator: Kurt Sutter

The slow burn of the first season continued into its second and upped the ante both in terms of action and in emotion. Kurt Sutter's show is the only one that makes me wince in pain one moment when seeing someone get brutally beaten, then shed a few tears for the characters the next. A season-long plotline came to a head in the season's tenth (and perhaps finest) episode "Balm", in which Jax and Clay learned the truth about what happened to Gemma. And, this show easily fills the manly show slot that was vacated by The Sopranos back in 2007.



3. Curb Your Enthusiasm; HBO; Creator: Larry David

What I love the most about Curb is not its uproariously hilarious situations that Larry David gets himself into (although they are, of course, very, very funny) but the intricate plotting that goes into each and every episode. While the last two seasons played a little looser, the seventh season was, for the most part, expertly plotted, so that every joke or meaningful piece of conversation was made worthwhile in the end, most exceptionally demonstrated in the second episode "Vehicular Fellatio". The fact that this season also contained the most ingenious TV reunion ever with its in-show Seinfeld reunion was just a bonus; an unbelievable bonus, nonetheless.



2. Lost; ABC; Creators: JJ Abrams, Jeffrey Lieber and Damon Lindelof

I've been an idiot for ignoring and/or lambasting Lost for years before Brigitte and I finally gave it a try this year. So, from March through November 2009, Brigitte and I sped through five (FIVE!) full seasons of Lost. And, frankly, the fifth season, which aired in 2009, was my favorite yet. Fully committing to the sci-fi elements of the show helped, but I think it was mostly the penultimate season action that led to an "explosive" (get it?!) finale that's still bending my brain in a lot of different ways. And the fact that so much of the series is a ripoff/homage to my favorite book series, Stephen King's The Dark Tower, makes it all the better.



1. Mad Men; AMC; Creator: Matthew Weiner

If the first season of Mad Men was All About Don Draper, and the second was Mad Men 2: Ladies Night, then the third brilliant season was about all of those things, and more. Standing on the precipice of change, the characters in Mad Men reacted in ways that surely will have consequences on the remaining seasons of the show. Sterling-Cooper pulled the plug, Betty finally left Don, and in between, President Kennedy got killed. And the slow, stylish build-up to all of those events was as meditative as In Treatment and as stylish as a movie. Can't wait to see how this one plays out.

Qualler Visits The Classics: The Best Television of the '00s: Everything Ends

To borrow a marketing campaign from the great Six Feet Under...everything ends. Decades end, seasons end, television seasons and series end. The '00s end as perhaps the best decade of television of all time, in terms of breadth and depth of programming. And, rather than pontificating on the greatness of television one more time, I simply present to you, a set of clips, some season finales, some series finales, of some of the best, (or, in the case of Dawson's Creek,at least notable) programs of the decade.

Everything...ends.

Six Feet Under, regardless of what you think of the series (too soapy! Not a realistic reaction to death! Wah wah wah!) ended in a most memorable way. I bawled my freaking eyes out.



Meanwhile, The Sopranos ended its six season run as different from Six Feet Under as possible...and in hindsight, just as perfectly.



Meanwhile, The Wire wrapped up quite neatly...some people happy, some people not so happy, but life goes on, right?



Dawson's Creek also ended this decade. I watched this with Blogulator friend and Qualler roommate Paal in college, and...this is still as easy to mock as it was back then. (Hey, I didn't say they were all good.)



Oh my God, this show, re-watching the climactic clips, could have been so great. In hindsight, it probably didn't deserve to go on for more than two seasons, but holy shit what great art direction and mythology. They shoulda hired Stephen King as a plot consultant.



I talked about The OC's series finale last week, and I urge you to watch the last seven minutes if you haven't yet. Srrsly, it ended great and without any of the soapy silliness that marred its second and third seasons.



Also, did you know ER was still on for most of this decade? Yeah, the series finale was pretty ho-hum.



Finally, a curtain call.

Hello, 2010.

Qualler Visits The Classics: The Best Television of the '00s: A Non-Ironic Tribute to The OC

Back in 2007, when The OC went off the air for good, Chris and I went off on a half tongue-in-cheek, half sincere tribute to the series, highlighting the highs and lows of its four year run. In 2007, irony was still quite vital and not quite as dead as it is today, so our tribute was ripe with contradiction: yeah, we liked The OC, but, heh, it was kinda dumb that we watched it, too, and, heh, it's not a prestigious show so it kinda deserved to be cancelled.

Looking back at my attitude about the show and having re-watched portions of the first two seasons recently, I can say with certainty that The OC is a a show that defines the '00s more than the prestigious Mad Mens of the world do. Perhaps this show defined our generation because we saw ourselves in the world they lived in -- sure, hyper-real, but defined by our love of music, pop culture, melodrama, relationships, and witty banter between friends.

Rather than waxing intellectual on the merits of The OC (Daniel Fienberg does a much better job of it at HitFix, not to mention Alan Sepinwall's book Stop Being a Hater and Learn to Love The OC (a great idea for a Christmas gift to Qualler if you haven't shopped for me yet!)), I simply present to you clips of the series that immediately spring to mind to demonstrate the inherent watchability of the series. Yes, that even includes the "shark-jumping" third season and never-really-watched fourth season.

In the below clip, from the first season, our heroes see the band Rooney play live. In 2004, we lived in a world where fictional worlds demonstrated Rooney playing to a sold-out, totally hyped up audience.

Later, in the second season, Seth Cohen somehow wrangled a dinner with George Lucas, via his graphic novel, in which Lucas discussed with Seth why it is important to go to prom, because it is a "great American tradition". Also he mentioned how he used to draw Ewoks in class in high school. I think we all know that's a total lie.

Hey, this is random and weird, but did you know people have made "AU" versions of what happens in The OC, and "AU" stands for Alternate Universe? Kinda like fan fiction but via video editing. Be prepared to be creeped out.

This plotline, the aforementioned graphic novel plotline, is, in retrospect, a lot more entertaining and clever than I gave it credit for. Besides the meta references to the show's own standing in its fans eyes, it's full of clever insider stuff in the entertainment industry. Favorite line, regarding the proposed TV show based on the graphic novel "Atomic City"

Soulless TV exec: This time next year, why not, "Atomic County", TV show?
Seth: Ooh, that's not so bad. Are you talking about, like, animation, or, like, live action?

Soulless TV exec: Why not a hybrid?



Who can forget the season two finale where Marisa shot Ryan's brother Trey? Pretty effing dramatic, and pretty wonderful for popularizing the heartstring-pulling song "Hide and Seek" by Imogen Heap, spawning one of Saturday Night Live's better Digital Shorts, and indirectly influencing the song "What You Say" by Jason Derulo?

Finally, did anybody actually watch the series finale besides me? Because, in retrospect, it's probably one of the best series finales of the decade. And yes, the final few moments also made me cry a little.

In the end, prestigious shows like Mad Men get all the hype at the end of an arbitrary time period like this one (granted, the hype is extremely warranted), but shows like The OC will be forever more comforting and more easily watchable. Whether the whole attitude of the series will be as hopelessly dated as a show like Beverly Hills 90210 is to us now (the original version, kids, not the crappy CW version) is moot: The OC is us, and we are The OC.

Angry Amy on Racism

You know what makes me angry?!! All of these new-fangled ways to be racist! You think you've figured out how to be PC and then, bam! you're really a racist. Let's take, for example, one of the most benign categories of American culture -- knick knacks, kitsch, and useless household items. Never in a million years would I think that eye-pokingly annoying product, Chia Pets, would ever cause a controversy. They've been making Chia-everything from animals to cat nip to cartoon characters for over two decades now. They even came out with a Chia Obama:



And herein lies the problem. Apparently, the Chia Obama is a little bit racist - not only are some people figuring it's offensive, but they also have the ear of popular Chia-retailer, Walgreens. Walgreens decided to pull the product from its shelves, leaving everyone wondering what went wrong. Well, here to help you with all of your racism needs is Angry Amy!

Here are the Top 3 Reasons Why the Obama Chia Might be Racist:

1) The "Afro"



I had no idea until watching this CNN report that white people should always say the word, "Afro," in a hushed voice to as to signal to others that they are aware the word is racist - maybe? - but they have no other word to describe what they are talking about. Now it makes a bit more sense why Barack Obama's "Chiafro" is quite offensive.

2) One word: Baracksploitation

What exactly is "Baracksploitation?" Let's let The Today Show explain:



I can only assume the term "Baracksploitation" is a take on "blaxploitation," a film and TV genre that exploited black popular culture and stereotyped people. I can definitely see, then, how a Barack Obama Chia pet is the very definition of exploitation, as it is a well known fact that the Chia Pet is an integral part of black culture. Yep, if there's anything symbolic of black pop culture, it's definitely Chia Pets. Plus, there are all of those negative stereotypes about black people looking like our photosynthetic relatives that I am shocked they would even think to turn our president into a plant himself. This is definitely racist.

3) Is Happy Obama Chia High?

You can get your Obama Chia in two different models. There is the stern, determined "Yes, We Can" Chia that appears in most of the ads, but then there is also the lighter, more mellow side to Chia Obama:



But since Obama already admitted to inhaling, this shouldn't come as a shock to anyone.

So, what do you think, blogureaders? Is Chia Obama racist?