Coming Soon: The Blogulator's Best of 2009!

You didn't think we'd go without spouting our opinions on 2009 stuff, did you? Of course not.

As promised by Chris yesterday, our 2009 Best Of lists are coming soon. Here is the schedule:

Thursday, January 7: Top Celebrity News Items of 2009

Friday, January 8: Top 10 Albums of 2009

Monday, January 11: Top 10 TV Shows of 2009

Tuesday, January 12: Top 10 Top 40 Songs of 2009

Wednesday, January 13: Top 10 Movies of 2009

Friday, January 15: Top 10 Video Games of 2009

Later in January: Top Books of 2009

Don't say we didn't warn you.

A Day of Rest For The Blogulator

Brigitte cannot be with us today and the rest of us are lazy or "busy" so we leave you with a calming video to quench your daily thirst for pop culture rambling and discourse. Enjoy...

Blogutwitter is live

In breaking "social networking" (some might say "more like social you're-not-working-right now") news, The Blogulator has officially succumbed to the Twitter revolution:

twitter.com/theblogulator

I implore you Twitterees (is that the word?) to add us to your feed thing-a-ma-jig.

in case you're not into that kind of internetting yet (I say "yet", because it's clearly a matter of time before everybody uses Twitter. 2009 for Twitter is basically what 2004 was for Facebook -- lots of skeptical faces, but in a few years y'all'll be Tweeting away like nobody's business), check out the newly added sidebar on this here site to see our latest Twitter updates (below the links and above the Google Reader shared items.)

Ho Ho Man-Ho. Also: Brief Blogu-Hiatus.

Ryan Phillipe's abs would like to wish you a happy holiday on this holy eve and say the phrase that every moron likes to say to point out the fact that our calendar year changes a digit in only so many days. AND HOW CRAZY IS THAT?!

Also: The Blogulator is officially done for 2008! By the way, we hit Post #500 a few days ago - NICE.

Check back January 1st for the beginning of the onslaught of year end best-of lists here at The Blogulator. We'll be tabulating our votes over the next week to bring you what we thought was the best in video games, books, celebrity gossip, music, TV, and movies over a delightful collaborative week's worth of posts! You see how much more sense that makes, a stupidly large number of blogs/media publications we otherwise respect, reflecting on the year when it's actually over?...MEGA SIGH.

DRINK SOME NOG YO.

The Blogulator Helps Las Vegas Find the Toilet

(Note: Brigitte and Qualler have just arrived in Las Vegas. Brigitte is apparently passed out on the bed from too much flying, so I, Qualler, will fill in for Brigitte now.)

As Lady Amy aptly pointed out, Los Angeles is Las Vegas that got sick and blew neon chunks all over the room instead of hitting the toilet. Well, Brigitte and I are here to help Las Vegas get those chunks back in the toilet so none of us have to run into Brian Grazer. Since I have to get up for my work conference early tomorrow, I'm going to let "True Life: I'm Qualler and Moving to Las Vegas" take over...

Hi! My name is Qualler. I'm 25 years old, and I'm moving to Las Vegas to pursue a music career. So far, things are going really well. I noticed that there are a lot of slot machines everywhere, including the airport! And where there are slot machines, there are people, and where there are people, there is an automatic audience for my acoustic rock that will be taking the city by storm.

20 minutes later...

(Sobbing) I have to actually apply for these jobs?! This is so frustrating! Oh well. I'm here to present to you something about the Top 10* Best** Pop Culture Moments in Las Vegas in the past 50 years. Here we go...

10. CSI: Las Vegas

The CSI: Las Vegas merchandise at the airport threw me off into thinking, "Oh yeah! The short-lived original CSI spinoff! Gotta get some merch." Unfortunately, this show doesn't yet exist. I will now make it the mission of my life to make it happen.

9. The Episode of Full House where Joey Gladstone goes to Las Vegas and accidentally runs into his father.

Two words: Colonel Gladstone! On a side note, actress Jodie Sweetin, who played precocious middle child Stephanie, got married in Las Vegas. Let's just say she's not as hot to me now as she was when I was twelve.

8. True Life: I'm Moving to Las Vegas

Ah yes, people with convoluted dreams and mediocre talent come to Las Vegas to find out that they are totally qualified...to be Hooters' girls.

7. The Sopranos "Kennedy and Heidi"

Two words: "I get it!" Sure you do, Tony. Without spoilers, this was probs the best Sopranos episode ever. But for some reason, Brigitte doesn't want to go to the "Sopranos Last Supper" dinner theater thing while we're here...

6. Zach and Kelly get married in Las Vegas on Saved by the Bell

I actually don't remember anything about what happened in this movie other than vague memories of Mr. Belding appearing at Zach and Kelly's wedding in Las Vegas, and it was a TV movie, followed by the college years series. Yeeeeesh.

5. Ocean's Eleven, Twelve, Thirteen

I'm not actually a big fan of these movies, but they're great to watch when you're on a plane, because they're so easy to sleep to, and I gotta admire the meticulous way they steal stuff.

4. Las Vegas, the TV show on NBC
I can't believe this was on for five seasons! FIVE!

3. What Happens in Vegas...

Oh wait, this was a bad thing. Die, Ashton Kutcher and Cameron Diaz. Please.

2. The Corleone family takes up residence in Las Vegas (The Godfather Part II)

This, on the other hand, was totally sweet. Michael Corleone kinda started messing up the family pretty bad here; on the other hand, it was a movie featuring Al Pacino and Robert De Niro that wasn't Righteous Kill, so it's got that going for it.

1. The Cohens celebrate Caleb's bachelor party on The OC.

No need to even go further than that, other than the fact that Brigitte and I totally miss The OC more than we'll ever know.

Does anybody else have any other great moments in Las Vegas pop culture history?

*Top 10 = Ten Things We Could Think Of At The Time

**Best = The Things We Could Think Of

Google Reader, Torchlight of Mine Soul

Today's post is going to have to be brief, but it touches on something oh so rewarding. No, I'm done talking about Iron Man, so you don't have to click away...yet. I'm always a step behind the program of life, but this Google Reader that I finally set up is probably the best thing that has digitally happened to me since my coveted Iron Man-themed Bluetooth. Or my Iron Man-themed Windows 95 screen saver. Unto itself, it's not really a piece of pop culture, but when I set up all my "feed subscriptions" (kind of like food, but with information, HOLYCRAPTHEFUTUREISNOW) I was suddenly bestowed with the convenient ability to NEVER let a piece of pop culture news pass me by ever again. Living for Google Reader for a week, here are just a few highlights I would like to share with you. Beware, though, if you add The Blogulator to your Reader, you won't be able to follow the comment threads! So subscribe, but then click on the article when it comes up in your feed (don't know if I used the term correctly here) so you can join in on the commenting fun!

What's with these interviews where journalists don't do their job and let celebrities stroke each others' egos for 2-4 pages, publish it, and call it an article? The Onion's AV Club is the latest to do this with Ben Gibbard of Death Cab for Cutie swooning over Sun Kil Moons/Red House Painters' Mark Kozelak and vice versa. At least it's a more interesting and less ridiculous read than Steven Spielberg having verbal diarrhea with George Lucas in EW a few weeks ago. A better DCFC-related read would be this local write-up on a retrospective from four of the band's best tracks of the past.

He gets trashed a lot by illogical kids who hate it when "celebrities" they like shill themselves out for soda commercials, but I (and I know a couple other Blogulateers do as well) still have enormous respect for Michael Ian Black. I realize the idiocy and comical redundancy of this short essay, but I still thoroughly enjoyed it. Does this make me an illogical fanboy? Whatever. He apparently also has a book full of this stuff out now that I'd like to get.

We talk about The Wire more than enough, but I can't get over how wonderful and persuasive this Pajiba article is on Season 2 of the show, which poses the argument that this season deserves all the credit, which is tough to believe in if you've seen seasons 3 and 4. And wait, there's more TV news (stay tuned for a Fall TV Preview soon btw!): I don't like repeating sources, but The AV Club also gives a preview of the new Bob Odenkirk and David Cross show, and I have to say, I'm as skeptical as I am immensely excited.

Shameless plug (and news, too!)

Hello bloguteers!
After qualler's blatant subtle promotion of the new Narnia film this past monday, I feel less shame promoting my new summer project.
So yeah, the page is here.
The basic idea is that me and my friend Ryan make short films every week and we let viewers vote on the better film. There are no prizes, but the winner gets to choose constraints, themes, etc for the next week's film. If you've enjoyed the past video posts of mine, I recommend you give it a check.

Any other news to report on? Here are some random news bites..

1. Last week NIN released some free album. I listened to a few songs. The verdict: You get what you pay for. I was not thrilled. Though I'm no major NIN fan by any stretch, I usually enjoy Trent's stuff. Maybe it takes time. My major irk with Trent's music is that his lyrics are total crap. Like every album is required to have lyrics about subservience or being on knees.
Ex: The Beginning of the End, the hand that feeds, and now 1,000,000.

Reminds me of someone else that writes the same songs over and over...

2. New Death Cab for Cutie album dropped Tuesday. "Dropped" means released in the music biz. I'm listening to this one now. It's pretty neat. People say it's heavier than their old stuff. I agree, which means it sounds like regular alt-rock and not whine-time with the resentful-of-his-fathers. Haha, that's misplaced meanness, I've been a D-Cab fan since the Death & Dismemberment tour (indie cred +50). I've even touched Ben G's hand. Game, set, match.

3. I've been Huluing up a ton of old Arrested Development episodes lately and they are hilarious. I watched season one fully on TV, but I missed some of season two and it's good to see the show again. "Oh, that's right, your wife is dead.." I think Maeby is cute. She should be in a movie with Ellen Page.
4. Speed Racer did poorly. Chalk that one up to something that affects the box office.

5. Office finale this Thursday and I'm stoked. Plus another new LOST. May is shaping up to be a nice month.

That's all for me blogulistas. Be sure to check out that site I mentioned. Take it easy.
Bold text is like wearing a tux. You can never be overdressed.

There Will Be Lists

In 2008...

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...

...

...

...

...there will be lists.

2007 Will Eat Your Family!

Thus begins the Blogulator's final post of 2007. It's been quite the year for us...we added five hilarious new members to our team of writers, got a new logo, replaced that mediocre new logo later with another logo (hopefully more than mediocre?), I started using capital letters, and we collectively spewed out over 100 posts on the pop cultural claptrap we inexplicably consume our free moments with everyday.

So in honor of this big year of change (and staying the same), here are some of the highlights of the Blogulator in 2007. Think of it as one of those awesome clip show episodes of your favorite sitcom starring us: Qualler gets arrested for accidentally stabbing a Santa Monkey while we're all shopping for presents at the mall, so Brigitte, Sean, Nicole, Doktorpeace, Lady Amy, and I have to sit in front of mall security awaiting his release, looking through the various DVDs and CDs we've bought for family and friends, only to recount all the great times we had the past year and eventually learn the true meaning of Christmas.

Before our new contributors jumped into bed with us in September, 2007 offered quite the number of personal dilemmas from the lonely duo of C&Q: Qualler got premium cable and often pondered whether it was worth it or not, I started listening to a lot of Top 40 and worred that I analyzed it too much (The Whiny Alt-Rock Spectrum Graph), and we had two very controversial point-counterpoint series of postings (Heroes vs. The Sopranos, Why I Saw/Won't See 300). Plus Chris bid adieu to 24 after a terrible season and Qualler gave a touching tribute to the officially canceled OC.

But probably the highlight of the pre-transformation Blogulator of this year was the post This is the Best Amateur Filmmaker in Minnesota? in which the subject of the post himself, On the Lot contestant Andrew Hunt, left a comment in semi-third person after Googling himself basically asking for "a duel of the minds" of sorts at a local Minneapolis coffee shop. I e-mailed him to set up the duel, then he said he'd get back to me when he got back from LA. I guess he's still in LA. Oh well, that could have been great.

He's in the front row, second from the left. I'm watching you, Hunt.

Luckily so much more is now covered on the Blogulator thanks to our new auteurs and we don't have to resort to petty fights with competitive reality television stars anymore! Let's take a look at some of their highlights: Brigitte's weekly Top Model updates have been riveting and informative about that one mild behavioral disease that one contestant had, Jigsaw proudly took over Doktorpeace's account and guest-posted in support of yet another Saw installment this Halloween (with the best piece of audio that has ever been on the Internet!), Sean gave an in-depth and insightful look at the depressing decline of Wes Anderson, Nicole set the AFI straight about the best love stories ever told on film, and Lady Amy has been bringing the celebrity gossip juice to the Blogulator in full force. Man, there's been so much content in the past four months...2008 is gonna be crackin'!

This almost makes me sad that we're going to be off the online now until the new year, but it's okay, because starting January 7th, we'll have our official Blogulator Top 10 lists! Check back in two weeks for our favorites in movies, TV, music, and guilty pleasures from 2007!

Coming soon.....

Editor's note: Qualler's post is understandably still in the hopper after his wedding with Brigitte this weekend. We will be back tomorrow with a mega-post together. Now that we are one in marriage, we are also one in blog land. Until then, ponder this thought:

Who would win in a fight between George Clooney as Batman and Fabio as Fabio? Think about it.

Essential meme to represent the current fragile state of popular culture (or just a cute puppy?)

Discuss.

That's a Sexy Graphic.

Don't be fooled by the use of capital letters. This is indeed the Chris half of the Blogulator, who hasn't blogged in more than a month??? That's inappropriate. Regardless, here I am all dressed up for you in proper capitalization. If you want me to ditch the caps, let me know in the comments - I already feel awkward using the shift key, kinda like a cummerbund riding me and I can't quite get used to it. But this is what happens when you're attempting to make your blog more legit. That's right, fellow Minneapolis and/or pop culture bloggers, we're looking to be your link whore if you'll be ours. Contact us at chrisandqualler[at]gmail[dot]com if you're interested.

So you're probably wondering about these new names up at the top. I'd like to officially welcome two fellow Minneapolitans to the blogulution: Brigitte is Qualler's wifey-to-be (nepotism is everywhere!) and Amy is our good friend/ex-blog hater. But don't ask them to provide "the female perspective" - no sir, whoa boy. That'd be rude. But basically that's what they'll be doing. OMG JK GALS MUCH LOVE! To adequately offset this femininity, a certain ex-blogger living up the life in Hollywood is returning to your monitor this week. Because he's soooo important, what with the constantly casting dead prostitutes for Numb3rs and churchgoers for a new Gabriel Byrne HBO epic drama, many of these updates from the notorious Drax will simply be transcribed weekly phone conversations of me asking him to get angry about something. Nevertheless, it will still be the Drax on your computer again at long last. And he's gotten even more grumpier in the last year than he did during the first 22 years of his life.

I'll be back on Thursday night with some kind of blabbering, but in the meantime, I'd like to giv my brief rundown of TV that Qualler so kindly asked for...

Life: It's the perfect synthesis of the droll addictiveness of Law and Order and some trite mystery serial drama. Plus it's quirky - he eats a lot of fruit and spouts quotes about zen every week! If I wasn't so addicted to watching SVU reruns, this would be yet another F-. Predicted Grade: B-. Actual Grade: B-.

K-Ville: If Brett Ratner remade Beverly Hills Cop III in a post-Katrina New Orleans, but still treated it like it was the amusement park in the Eddie Murphy retread romp, it'd be K-Ville. It was silly of me to think FOX could honor the torn down cultural landmark city with the televised equivalent of the Tracy Jordan movie White Cop Black Cop from 30 Rock. Predicted Grade: B-. Actual Grade: F-.

Back to You: It's like The Office if every joke was told by someone who was very quickly walking by the person they were making fun of, starred two actors that are not relevant in pop culture anymore, and had the budget of your high school's morning video announcements. At least Fred Willard is having fun - you can see in his eyes that he knows he'll only have to be there for a few weeks. Predicted Grade: C. Actual Grade: D-.

Journeyman: I used to watch Sliders and Quantum Leap. Those shows, along with Back to the Future and Stargate, had what's called "camp value." Except Quantum Leap actually transcended the camp many times to become a genuinely good show, showing that time/dimension travel could be genuinely heart-wrenching. Journeyman doesn't even consider camp, which I am thankful for, because finally we can get serious about time/dimension traveling! And it's intriguing as all get out. Predicted Grade: C-. Actual Grade: B.

Gossip Girl: Absolutely breath-taking. Love love love love love it! Predicted Grade: F. Actual Grade: A-.

Chuck: "Your brain is a computer." That's all I have to say about that. Predicted Grade: C+. Actual Grade: F-.

Bionic Woman: I was so bored. Did two teenagers write that pilot in their sleep? Or were they actually excited to film a show where the bare minimum needed to keep the show from going to dead air was all that was written down? Whatever, I didn't need another superhero show anyway. Heroes is more than enough to satiate me. Predicted Grade: A. Actual Grade: F-.

Dirty Sexy Money: Qualler's write-up pretty much hits the target, but he forgets the analogy he initially verbally supplied for me to get me interested in watching the show. It's basically Arrested Development minus the haha funny plus some wow-that-guy's-a-jerk funny. It could go south, but I'm going to be optimistic and say it will be the only new show that ends up being genuinely good. Predicted Grade: C. Actual Grade: B+.

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes!

On behalf of my blogging buddy Chris, I would like to announce that the Blogulator is undergoing an overhaul. Starting on October 1, 2007, the Blogulator will be back, in daily posting style. We are making some changes, and there will be some new bloggers to help us. But, expect the same pretentious quality you look for in your friend's pop culture blog collective.

So, October 1, 2007, get ready for Blogulator 2.0. Or, Blogulator 2: Electric Boogaloo. Or Blogulator 2: Blog Harder. You get the idea.

Minneapolis

As you probably know, the disaster at the bridge near downtown Minneapolis on I-35W was a horrific event in the city. Both Chris and I live close to the bridge, and regularly need to cross it to get to each other's neighborhoods. The events that occurred on 8/1/07 affected everybody's life in the entire Twin Cities metro area in some way, and the entire state of Minnesota, and the country.

In my day job, I work as a tax accountant for not-for-profit organizations of all kind, including philanthropic organizations. The Minneapolis Foundation, Minnesota Community Foundation, Saint Paul Foundation, and the Greater Twin Cities United Way have teamed up to create the Minnesota Helps Fund: Bridge Disaster Fund. All donations to the fund go 100% to program-related expenses, meaning that every dollar you donate goes directly to aid for the situation. Having worked with many different organizations, I know that this is an excellent use of resources.

We at the Blogulator love Minneapolis, and we hope that we can help to heal the city after the disaster in any way possible.

www.minnesotahelps.org

Man, Was I Ever Wrong.

Kudos to Chris Gregory for correcting me on this, but the aforementioned "Guy Who Wants To Be Ashton Kutcher" from the SNL "Lazy Sunday" video is Andy Samberg, who comes from a hilarious comedy trio called The Lonely Island. Good stuff, check it out, especially "The 'Bu".

Only Six More Shopping Days Until Holiday!

Have yourselves a Merry Holiday, friends of the Blogulator! Did you know that we have a mere six shopping days left until you surprise that special someone with that special gift that will be specially thrown away or forgotten about the next day? If you're looking for some extra special holiday gifts, check these Blogulator-recommended delicious dishes:

THE FAMILY STONE

No holiday season would be complete without piling the whole family into the minivan, hopping down to the local cineplex, and catching the newest Christmas movie about a family that everyone in the family can enjoy together. A Star Tribune columnist compared this movie to The Royal Tenenbaums because it is about a family. Yes, it's true -- like Tenenbaums, this movie also features Luke "I Liked Him Better When He Was Blond And Had A Funny Nose" Wilson. Not only does it feature Mr. Wilson himself, but it also features Rachel Mc"Nipslipper"Adams. And yes, she is definitely, definitely wearing a Dinosaur, Jr. t-shirt in a scene of the movie.

THE REGIS PHILBAN CHRISTMAS ALBUM

After you checked out the latest in Hollywood mediocrity, we at the Blogulator recommend you sit down, crack open the egg-nog, and listen to Regis Philban belt out your favorite holiday hits. Clearly, no Christmas would be complete with this shiny mug shot in your Christmas albums collection. This record is complete with a version of The Reege himself singing "Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer" with Donald Trump. (Rudolph thankfully is hired by The Donald instead of being ruthlessly and mercilessly forced out of his job, kicked to the curb, and outsourced to India.) Ah, Reege, what a guy.

THE WAR ON CHRISTMAS

As you kick back and listen to your favorite daytime talk show host sing your favorite songs, we recommend you crack open the newest on why your favorite HolidayTM is being ruthlessly murdered by the stores that you shop at by reading The War On Christmas: How the Liberal Plot to Ban the Sacred Christian Holiday Is Worse Than You Thought. While we at The Blogulator generally do not lean either political direction in our writings, we feel that it is important that, after consuming the aforementioned holiday products, you learn how your sacred family and faith-based beliefs, especially those regarding the things you buy, are under attack by evil pagan Christian-hating liberal gays. The audacity of those liberals to put out a movie about Gay Cowboys over the Christmas season is particularly appalling. Thank goodness we have Real American Soldiers out there helping us keep our Christmas season sacred, while also giving us more stuff to buy.

Happy Holidays from The Blogulator!



p.s. Here is a clip of the first actually funny thing I've seen on SNL in a long time featuring Chris Parnell, who is actually funny, and some guy who apparently thinks he's Ashton Kutcher.

CHECK THIS OUT!

THE DRAX REPORT.

It's like The Blogulator, except that The Drax is actually in Hollywood, and he hates stuff even more than we do. Please check it out and support the continuing blogultion.

Wipert, you're next! Get that blog up and running, friend.

may I reintroduce:

The New and Improved Milwaukee Bucks, featuring Until The Tape Runs Out, created by me on NBA Live 2004:

That's right -- Arun, Chris, and Pat are all now officially part of the blogolution, and Chaney SHOULD be. I think when I created this team, Dave Ryan was the power forward, but for some reason he's not pictured. Also, naturally, Pat is Number 69. From what I recall, Chaney was lightning fast, Chris could hit a 3 pointer like nobody else, Pat was a monster in the lanes, and Arun was pretty much useless, but he had a sweet afro and huge knee pads.

Perhaps I will create an All Blogolution Team next.

pretentiousness. what a lame concept.

Above: an accurate depiction of battling pretentiousness.

Alright you bunch of douches, you wanted a post?! You GOT a post! And just for further clarification, my girlfriends are Brigitte and The Blogulator. Believe me...we've gotten into some pretty sticky situations (pun INTENDED!), all three of us combined...for some reason, the Blogulator just doesn't like being the meat in a Mark and Brigitte sandwich...but that's another topic entirely that is better suited for my personal blog.

What I really want to preach to you people about is a little word called PRETENTIOUSNESS. What is it, you say? Is it when somebody likes a band that employs some "weird" methods of doing music? Is it when somebody likes something that other people don't like and isn't afraid to do so? Well, I didn't run the numbers on this one, but I did look up the definition of the word "pretentious" on our good friend, dictionary.com:

pre·ten·tious ( P ) Pronunciation Key (pr-tnshs)adj.
Claiming or demanding a position of distinction or merit, especially when unjustified.
Making or marked by an extravagant outward show; ostentatious.

So, clearly, for person A to claim something to be "pretentious," he must be accusing person B of giving an unjustified position of distinction or merit. So, is it unjustified of me to say that the new Mike Doughty record sucks? Let's run the numbers with our good friend, metacritic.com

Haughty Melodic Metascore: 69 (out of 100), including reviews from publications like Tiny Mix Tapes saying, "It's just a little sad to hear Mike giving in to conventionality, even if he does do it better than most

So, there you have it, JUSTIFICATION that perhaps not everybody likes his new direction, even if it is done better than most.

What's the lesson to be learned here? You're most likely to be pretentious if you call somebody else pretentious, because pretentiousness is inherently an unjustified state of opinion.

That's right, y'all. Y'all been house'd by The Qualler.

hear our phone sex voices...

ON THE RADIO TOMORROW!

that's right. can't get enough of the online version of chris and qualler's pop culture blogulator? hear the dastardly duo review the new Broken Social Scene record tomorrow on Radio K, found online at www.radiok.org - click on the Listen Now! link up in the corner and choose an appropriate connection.

or if you're in the sota, dial it up at 770 AM, 106.5 FM in Mpls or 100.7 in Schotz Paul.

1:00 PM CENTRAL STANDARD TIME tomorrow (Sunday 10/16) only on RADIO K.

Chris and Qualler's Pop Culture Blogulator: Audio Theatre Edition.